So my gf was raped

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by LS1>, Sep 16, 2007.

  1. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    She went to a party with a group of people that she went to HS with. Had a few drinks and got really sick. One of her Best friends took her from the bathroom and put her in his bed. She said she blacked out and all she remembers is telling him no. When she woke up a few hrs later her clothing was on the floor. She cant remember what happened which is one of the many reasons she wont report. I have urged her to get a rape kit done which now maybe to late. The other big issue is she does not want to report it because she feels she will lose her friends. I am trying to be as nice as I can be but I dont know what I can do to get her to get tested out and report. She acts like if she does not think about it and does not see him again everything will be ok. I know she is going to need some type of treatment. I dated a girl who was raped and had treatment for years and she was not over it. I dont think people ever get over it 100%. Anyone have any ideas on what I can do? I have a huge list of things going on in my mind right now. I just dont know what the best course of action is.
     
  2. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Thats such a tough situation I don't even know what tell tell you advice wise, but :hugs: sorry to hear about such a horrible situation.

    I googled it and rohypnol is detectable via hair test even months later, but obviously other physical evidence is probably gone by now as she has doubtless showered etc.
     
  3. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    She needs to see a doctor and a therapist. If she is trying to push it away and hope it will just 'be ok' it will manifest itself in other ways and be worse for herin the long run.
    She is really going to need you right now, be there for her. Shes going to have it really rough for awhile though. She really does need to report this fucker though, to keep him from doing it to other women. I know that shes afraid of getting her name dragged through the mud 'She was drunk, she said yes and now regrets it, shes a whore, etc'
    I promise it gets better. Please encourage her to seek therapy.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2007
  4. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    Werd.

    From sounds of it a "few drinks" made her black out? You need to find out her alcohol consumption this sounds more like a drug could've been in play that she was unaware of.
     
  5. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    1) You need to talk to her friends there and find out how much she drank and if she really did only have a few drinks.

    2) Get a test done for a detectable substance (I think they can do it via hair sample).

    3) Be there for her and don't get angry in front of her because it will just make her more upset.

    4) I am really sorry to hear about this. I cannot imagine what you/her must be going through.

    5) My hat is off to you sir. My first reaction would have been to put that guy in the hospital for a minimum of 6 months. Not that you should do something like that... but I am not sure I could have helped myself.
     
  6. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    \Trust me number 5 has been high on my list. Trying to keep my cool has been a hard thing to do. I am trying to get her to go in for test in trade that I wont tell her family. Could be a bad angle to play but I guess we will see.
     
  7. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    From what she told me is that she had 3 drinks. Hell I have never seen her get sick or black out after 3. I gave her lots more last week and she was only feeling good. She is still sick today which only adds to my belief that something was given to her.
     
  8. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I'm not sure how old you two are but if you can you might want to confidentially go to the doctor with her. She is probably embarrassed or scared to tell her family (plus I'm sure they didn't know she was drinking) so that more than likely cuts them out of the picture. I don't know that you playing the angle of telling your family is a good one because it's not really much of -their- business and out of respect for her you probably shouldn't be telling people about it unless she approves.
     
  9. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    How long ago did this happen?

    Does she have the cloths she was wearing that night, unwashed? She needs medical attention asap, who will also point her in the right direction to receive psychological help. She may have an STD or become pregnant.
     
  10. GanglyGoodness

    GanglyGoodness .

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    if they get upset at her for reporting rape, then why the fuck would she want to be friends with scumbags like that anyways?
     
  11. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    don't offer solutions, just offer support.

    try and get her to see a therapist

    try and get her to come out to her friends about it
     
  12. viper89

    viper89 Lost

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    Similar thing happened to my friend and his g/f. Preety much the same story instead she cheated on him. She made up the story and told him that just incase someone told him something first and she felt a little guilty. The whole story got fishy because she preety much blew it off and wouldn't go to the doctor or tell the authorities. You never know

    She should def go see a doctor best wishes to both of you
     
  13. PunkInDrublic

    PunkInDrublic Active Member

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    This was my first impression of the story, but I didn't want to be the one to say it. The whole lack of not wanting to take any action, only a few drinks, "best friend", not wanting to lose friends that would permit rape (unless it's not what happened).

    I don't know :\
     
  14. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    She is 22 I am 23. I have run the idea in my head more then a few times on if she is telling the truth or not. I think she is but who knows. This happened Friday night Saturday Morning.
     
  15. Eng

    Eng New Member

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    you should confront the guy and see what he says.
     
  16. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    "hey, did you rape my girlfriend?"
    "nope!"
    "oh, alright. what a liar, she is!"

    amirite?
     
  17. prolifics

    prolifics New Member

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    her reason is that she thinks she will lose her friends if she reports it?? i hope you aren't taking that seriously. she got raped dude. why would her friends ditch her because of that?? those peeps don't deserve to be her friends if that's the case.

    she needs to see a doctor IMMEDIATELY. and the MFKer needs to be put in jail. where is the justice??
     
  18. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    She told me she thinks her friends will take his side. She is worried about two people that she is really good friends with that are best friends with this fuck.
     
  19. ptwiggens

    ptwiggens New Member

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    yeah... I wasn't gonna say anything either but...
     
  20. ptwiggens

    ptwiggens New Member

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    And that about seals it... if you haven't been able to tell about girls... they are insane about looking out for their friends. If her friends were at the party and she wasn't in a condition to go in some room with a guy... they would have been there to stop it. Your telling me they didn't check on her at all and just ditched her? Add to the fact that she now says her friends will take his side because they are really good friends with him...

    not adding up.
     
  21. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    How should I go about trying to confirm that she is telling me a lie?
     
  22. IAMABALLER

    IAMABALLER New Member

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    Not saying this is what happened.......

    but keep in mind, girls do lie. she could be saying she was "raped" to take some of the guilt off of her, when in reality, she was drunk & accidently consented to sex w/ this other guy. just a thought......
     
  23. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    Just reading some of the replies in this thread shows why she might be hesitant to tell her friends, i.e they'll think she made it up or whatever. Just offer as much support as you can provide.
     
  24. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    Has she said ANYTHING about going to doctor / therapist / getting checked for being pregnant? If not + all other stuff is leaning towards lies.
     
  25. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    Nope:o

    Ok after reading all this I want to say she is lieing to me. I wish I could confirm this.
     

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