SRS so my ex is an asshole

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by calorchica00, May 8, 2006.

  1. calorchica00

    calorchica00 OT Supporter

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    After nearly 5 years (and two days after we signed a lease for an apartment starting June1) he decided that he just decided he didn't want to be with me. He's gone through a list of excuses on why. First was that he didn't like the person he had become and that i deserve better than him. Then it was he loved him but wasn't sure if he was in love with me and had been feeling this way for a few weeks. Then it was he had been feeling this way since Nov. Whenever I had asked him if he was happier now he always said no. So I suggested we start dating, like actually dates. Before we just hung out, never really did anything. He kept telling me that he wasn't sure he'd think about it and so on. Then today I find out that he's seeing someone else, so I asked him about it. THings started to click, before the break up he had kinda stopped being affectionate towards me, dragged his feet about spending time with me, that sorta stuff. He denied seeing this girl, I asked if he cheated on me, and he still denied it and got really upset that I asked. Get home from class and he's posting about some guy at work trying to get with his girl and what he should do about it. I don't see why he needs to lie to me? This isn't the person I fell in love with...I wish he would just tell me the truth..
     
  2. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Look out for #1 right now - that means you. Get off that lease agreement, stat. Get your own place and cancel any shared accounts that you have. If you don't want to be a victim of the fallout from this crap, get yourself on secure footing before attempting to delve into the hows and whys of what happened. One mess at a time.
     
  3. calorchica00

    calorchica00 OT Supporter

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    I'm putting myself through college so I can't afford anything on my own, luckily someone I know needed a place to stay for a year so thats all set. there was no shared accounts or anything like.
     
  4. spook

    spook OT Supporter

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    Shady. I wouldn't dwell too much on what happend, it's a waste of time. Start thinking about how you're going to get on without him
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Basically he lost interest in you 'but you where still with him so he needed a way to get rid of you, because he wanted to replace you with 'her'. This is why all the lying took place and 'worthless' exuses in various ways of all sorts of utter non-sense was spawned at you in an attempt to get 'rid of you' by (demonizing you) if he could accuse you for a 'valid' reason deeming you off as the boogie man, he would have a fundamental reason to get rid of you. Mmeanwhile you not fully aware of his intentions starting to ask questions of his behaviour because your 'gut' feeling told you something was wrong. And you did a good thing to listen to your gut feeling, he was screwing around behind your back , well what can i say else then that yes he is a loser and you deserve so much better then to be with a liar.

    Whats important for you to learn is that if you look back , you see that 'both' of you where on different frequencies in the relationship, you being in love with him, and he being bored with you. Therefore instead of being the couple that you should be, you where merely but a 'chain' around his legs.

    What you see is that what is important, namely that YOU have emotions too, that need to be cherished by someone that is worthy of investing your time and effort in. So what do you deserve in a relationship? Well the Asylum Wisdom , relationship life lesson thread shows you exactly what you deserve in any given relationship.
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2517144

    Next

    http://iands.org/ascension.html

    Although this link is not representive at all for all males, it gives you some insight (mind you its a long read so grab a cup of coffee) into the male mind.
     
  6. verveintuition

    verveintuition New Member

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    Tell him how you feel very bluntly, get some closure, learn from the situation, and most importantly, move on.

    Change is hard sometimes, but it doesn't have to be.
    Look at this as an opportunity for yourself to be happier. :)
     
  7. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    It sucks, but focusing your attention elsewhere is the best thing for you now. Keep yourself busy with your friends, family, school/work and hobbies. Whether he simply lost interest over time or actually cheated on you, the end result is the same: the relationship is over. Unfortunately, you can't force him to tell you the truth and he's under no obligation to give you the time of day. If you want closure, go ahead and try to get it out of him, but set a limit for yourself where you walk away after trying for a certain (short) amount of time. There's no sense in getting all wrapped up in a quest for knowledge that has no certain outcome or even one with reasonable odds - take the approach that if you get the information it's a bonus and be prepared to move on without it.
     

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