SRS so my dad isn't my dad, lol

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, Jan 21, 2009.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I found out this weekend that I'm an "artificial insemination" baby from a donor, lol. Should I give more of a shit than I do, because I feel more liberated than anything else.

    thoughts?
     
  2. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Who cares who your biological parents are. Just as the ones who actually raised you, love you.
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    what makes you feel liberated?
     
  4. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    my dad is a bit of a dirt-bag. I mean, he's OK and cares and all, he just has great stories about fucking strippers, how my mother cheated first, how my mom was good at making sexy-time, cheats on his wife, stole $40k from his father-in-law...I can keep going. lol

    Like I said, I'm liberated.
     
  5. Weird that they waited this long to tell you.
     
  6. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    My mother accidentally slipped, and I put 2&2 together. I'd rather tell a 28-year old than a 15-year old.
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    go now you get to treat him differently because it wasn't his sperm? that somehow means he didn't raise you for all those years?
     
  8. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    My sister found out she was my half-sister at 16 and found out that her father died before she was born. My sister was SO pissed and has been going nuts ever since, doing expensive DNA tests and she has been trying to find any family members of her father.

    I honestly don't know if she would have handled the situation any better if she found out when she was older.
     
  9. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    I think the TS is probably glad he didn't inherit genes from a guy that he thinks is a douche (at some level).
     
  10. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    that's not really what I said. Thanks though. I think my daddy genuinely cares as best as he knows how.
     
  11. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    I'm sure you feel better that the person you thought you would become has no blood relation to you.

    However, you may feel weird not having someone that is related to you be the one that is raising you. Do you know who the donor is? Do you care who the donor is?
     
  12. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    my mother was married 3 times after my father. She's been married for 15-years now to my step-father who's been awesome to me since I was 13-years old. I'm still buddies with the man who I thought was my bio-dad and genuinely believe he loves me. However my step-father is the one who raised me, taught me to work on a car, be a man, be responsible, and all that shit that fathers do.

    I don't really have any desire to meet "the real bio-dad." If he wanted to meet up with his potential son, they probably would have discussed that before this all started. My presumed father had a vasectomy, they wanted another kid...they got what they intended and I'm not going to alter that. All I know is the donor was a doctor at the local hospital, so I assume he most likely donated to help people like my parents or myself, or just wanted a quick $20 to get a forty. Either way he helped my parents have a kid, so I don't want to corrupt his generosity.

    I'm fine with where I am. If they didn't make that decision, I would be here today, so I have no complaints or desires to change anything.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2009
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Because you have had such a messed up youth it is not so strange to see why you developed such a 'f you' attitude towards everything. What makes it hard for you is that the unability to find an important emotional connection towards your 'parents' , every child has a natural urge to 'bond' with their parents, this in order to give and receive love. When this bond gets disturbed by multiple disruptive events like divorce,abuse, and in this case finding out that your parents aren't your real parents, you get a very distorted view on what a 'correct relationship is' and you might find it hard to bond with someone and feel 'emotional distant' towards people.

    The reality is that such events 'damage us' more then we often willingly want to admit. We ignore it for maby even for years but in the end it comes back to bite you in the ass like never before.

    The problem is cleaning up the rubble in your brain and in your soul. You have to 'replace' the 'wrong' image with a good stable and normal equation of how people should normally intereact within a relationship as wel as bringing the situation up, forgive the things that have been done and then from there restore your bonds of love and establish correct and loving relationships with those who are close to you.

    Its an issue that is better working on then leaving it alone. You may if you wish find a support group along with a phychiatrist who you could talk to about these things.
     
  14. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I'm still lost about why you feel liberated.
     
  15. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    because my father stole a shit-ton of money from his father-in-law. I don't really care for a blood relation to that. I'm liberated because I'm not genetically linked to someone who does really shitty stuff to people.
     
  16. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    This just adds another layer to the already complicated shit pile. I'm glad you're taking it in stride. You "are" taking in stride, right?
     
  17. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    I think your more so relieved persay then liberated. I understand that you feel as if a big make believe *sigh* came out of your mouth when you found out your 'father' wasn't really your dad. Almost like, I dont want to be like my father and do what he did, blah blah blah... then find out he actually isn't your father so it isn't in your traits, or dna, or anything to share anything remotely close to said gentlemen.
     
  18. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    so its been a few weeks and I still haven't freaked out, but the novelty has worn off a bit. For a few weeks it was like I could see my reflection, and felt totally independent of pretty much any and everything. I need to get back there, it was a cool feeling.
     

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