LGBT so my buddy's shipping out to iraq next month...

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Priest Tango, Dec 30, 2006.

  1. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    17,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    LOOOOOONG ISLAAAAAAND
    and i still dont know how to handle it. the past two weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions, crying and plenty of alcohol. and ive broken the cycle tonight by not drinking, and things seem abnormal for some reason :eek4: christmas eve was the worst though. i drank myself into oblivion and then cried my eyes out to another good friend of mine until i passed out on his floor. ive come to the conclusion tonight that i have a big problem with two things: my emotions, and alcohol. my friend [shipping to iraq] has an amazing way of hiding his realfeelings. he passes it off as being no big deal and that everything is peachy and cream. but i know deep down somewhere inside he's really shitting himself. godforbid anytihng happened i dont know what i would do. i feel like a trainwreck right now:hs:
     
  2. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hug: :hs: I've been there when my friend moved to Spain 11 months ago, I can't get over it, each time I think about her I get really sad :( did you talk about it with him?

    I suppose that time will heal wounds...

    And on the alcohol...I suppose its a big deal for you but since you are aware of the problem I think you can control it, that's the first step.
     
  3. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2002
    Messages:
    15,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nowhere in particular
    I understand what you're going through. Last year I was dating a guy that's in the Air National Guard. He volunteered to go to Iraq while were were still seeing one another.

    Luckily he made it back ok, but needless to say we're not together anymore. Way too young....immature, and I realized how the military has a way of instilling a very cold side in its soldiers that can be turned on and off like a light switch.

    Supposedly, he's going back to Iraq this summer. I don't get it....but I guess you have to be in the military to understand.:hs:
     
  4. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2005
    Messages:
    18,067
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Margaritaville
    It doesn't get any easier when they do multiple tours (or come back and visit then have to go back) either PT. Just make sure to buy him a calling card that can call the states so he can call you sometime. Also try to remember how hard it is on him leaving, take what you are most likely feeling and multiply it x 11ty billion. Also let him know according to my cousin over there... it's disgusting in the shitters, he says if you have to shit find the gym, otherwise you are bumping knees with the guy next to you while doing your business :ugh:
     
  5. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Little Off Topic I know, but I suppose that after today's events this madness is close to an end :hs:

    NOVA: did he change abruptly? did he feel detached and had a weird sense of being away in his mind when you talked to him?
     
  6. spiffy_badrock

    spiffy_badrock I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Messages:
    1,340
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Floatin' Through The Mangroves
    PT feeling for you man. Never had anyone close go into the service, or overseas, my prayers are with you and him.
     
  7. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2002
    Messages:
    15,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nowhere in particular
    Yes he did. When he came back, that's when I really noticed the difference.

    As for the madness to end, I don't think so. If anything, it's about to get worse...
     
  8. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2004
    Messages:
    1,466
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Hollywood, CA 90069
    Well as one who has an ex that was in the Navy the entire time we were together (4.5 - 5 yrs), watching them go is hard. Watching them come back and seeing the changes is harder.

    I was lucky my ex was in intel, never saw front-line action but still experienced some stuff that is not quite civilian.

    We were lucky the Cdn Forces allows members deployed anywhere to call home at least once a week, and he always did. Part of me says it was easier when we didn't talk because when we did it brought to the surface how much I missed him. 4 - 6 mos is a long time to go without seeing someone (though we were lucky we usually only went 2 as I flew to where he would get leave and spend 72 hrs with him).

    As for the personality change Nova talks about, absolutely. In my case he had that personality trait when we met, so it wasn't a surprise. Given the nature of my work, I also had it. We were both very good at shutting off emotions when needed and keeping the utmost confidence on any subject matter. Many things we would share with each other, but never to the outside world (I also held security clearance for the CDN. Military and gov't... still do probably)

    And finally, I believe the violence is about to get a whole lot worse. The trial, IMO, was not neutral or fair... the price that will be paid hasn't been determined as of yet, but it will be high.
     
  9. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    17,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    LOOOOOONG ISLAAAAAAND
    from what i know he'll be making a visit back after 6monthes over there. then after his full year over there he'll be back in N.carolina for 7-8 months before he makes another round. he hides his true feelings very well. hes playing it off as nothing while everyone around him is shitting bricks for him. but like i said i KNOW hes scared, scared shitless.
     
  10. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    What kind of person are you? Are you the sensitive type or do you play his game?

    I used to not show extreme feelings and its worthless being like that because ppl tend to think you are a cold hearted prick, now I say what I feel most times. When my friend went away I barely showed any signs of being sad, she cried a little at the airport and that's it, however a few weeks ago I talked to her on the phone I went brutally honest with her, I got watery eyed and all and that opened a new door with her. Do you think you can pull this off with your buddy? I don't mean that you should cry your eyes out at him but you should tell him how you feel and hope he does the same, that would definitely make his departing a little better. I think. IMHO.
     
  11. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    17,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    LOOOOOONG ISLAAAAAAND
    i show my emotions alot. but when im around him i tend to play into his game. but he knows me as well as i know him. i know the day he leaves our little goodbye convo wont be the most manliest conversation. and kind of like you, when he left for bootcamp i kept back everything i wanted to say and left it off as a simple goodbye (well not really but, thats the best to explain it) and now as i think of it i dont really show any emotion when it comes to things that scare the shit out of me. like this and when my mother was in the hospital i tried to deny everything that was reallly going on around me, and i feel thats what im doing now.


    thanks for the support guys :) its good to let things out. cuz god knows im bad at it IRL
     
  12. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm learning to let some stuff go out, it doesn't mean I'll turn into an emotional wreck each time something happens but its better than putting everything into a closed jar and wait it goes away :o
     
  13. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2005
    Messages:
    18,067
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Margaritaville
    Tell him you need n00dz before he leaves... ;) Just trying to lighten the mood :o
     
  14. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    or make it worse :o
     
  15. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    17,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    LOOOOOONG ISLAAAAAAND
    lol its constantly on my mind though and i had the perfect oppurtunity to throw it into the convo last night with no qustions asked
     
  16. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm glad I rarely have crushes, its been years since I liked someone :ugh:
    wanting nudes from a friend is a bit :hsugh:

    but it is not abnormal, that I must agree :o
     
  17. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    17,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    LOOOOOONG ISLAAAAAAND
    crushes suck.
    best friend...:hsugh:

    hes hot though.....like omg
     
  18. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have hot aquaintances (sp?) but not hot friends....or at least not that I consider hot...
    I know crushes suck but....I'd like to have one right now, it would take my mind of a few issues :o
     
  19. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    4,945
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Frozen Bowels of HELL
    Military wife w/friends still shipping out.....

    The best you can do is write and let him know that you care. It's hard for you and them but they have to deal with it in their own way. Yes, the changes in them when they come home can really suck. Most of the time they re-adjust after a while.

    Just be there for your friend...
     
  20. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2005
    Messages:
    1,878
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Springfield, VA
    Sorry to hear about your friend being shipped off PT. This subject really strikes a nerve in me since my dad was in the military, and all of his friends are military. I hope all works out well!! :hug:
     

Share This Page