SRS So much stress from my life

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Spiritus, Jun 30, 2005.

  1. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Oh my God, everything is spinning right now. I don't know what to do.

    First off my girlfriend which I spent every day with in the last month and love dearly, is gone for 2-3 weeks. We recently lost our virginity together and I love her so much.

    Today she phones me and says that her mom is trying to kick her out of her house. She's gone away to her dads and her mom is trying to get rid of her. She's now working but she's coming back to redue to her math exams, etc.

    So here I am missing her like crazy and now she may get kicked out of her house. However I still think that a real mother will not turn away her perfectly decent daughter when she comes home, but still it triggers lots of anxiety.

    About anxiety, I have 3 severe forms of it and this is driving me up the wall. Oh what else...

    I'm trying to get a job that would allow me and her to get an apartment. The whole proccess of trying to get the job is being not so nice either.

    I am dealing with my drug problems. I feel I smoke to much marijuana so I am stopping that. I didn't smoke at all yesterday for the first time in months. I stopped abusing ritalin and cough syrup months ago so this is a big step.

    But it's wreaking havoc because MJ is the only thing that really kills the anxiety. Without it I am here, taking 4x my percription of anxiety medication to try and calm myself down. I have a huge tolerance so overdose is definnitly not a concern but I am worried about why I have to do this right now.

    I'm gonna take a much needed vacation to visit old friends for a week. But I am still so worried and stressed out right now. I had thoughts about abusing cough syrup again, which landed me in a mental hospital last year. I am fighting it hard.

    God help me. My problems are small compared to others but my condition is killing me here. I had bouts of depression yesterday for the first time in a long time, since I'm on paxil.

    I am trying to think of soloutions. I think that if my girlfriend can get a job here, we will get an apartment together.

    And oh fuck, college is coming up too... I have a good idea what I want to do but still this is really stressfull.

    Any advice or support is much appreciated.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    With so much drama going on, I'm not sure college is such a good idea.

    College costs money, and I would hate to see you spinning your wheels, paying tuition and not doing much of anything except getting deeper into debt and pulling down a full set of D's and F's.

    I'm sure you're smart enough or whatever, it's just a question of focus.

    I'd try and get your life on an even keel first, before doing anything, be it college or whatever else you choose.
     
  3. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    College is paid for. 5k should get me through the programs I am interested in. The college I am looking at is good and extremely cheep considering what you get.

    My life is a bit fucked right now, I agree. But I've stopped the hard drugs and smoke MJ less and less, not that I think MJ is a bad thing it's just it can interupt the transition from couch patatoe to working unit.

    I was talking to my girlfriends best friend today. She says she really doubts that her mom will kick her out if she shows up in town again. She's known her for so many years and knows better. In fact her parents tried to kick her out, and my parents tried to kick me out! In the end, everything turned out okay.

    Hopefully everything will turn out ok for my girl. I am feeling pretty calm right now and exersized earlier, but still this is a lot of drama =\
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Good grieve, whenever you are stressed, take long walks in nature, sort things out in your head, throw away your drugs and medication and stop smoking all at once. Those things are only symptom suppressors and not problem solvers, which brings me to the following that your gf not being with you isn't really a problem, you need to stay cool and focussed, and remember that no worry in life is something to really worry about.
     
  5. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    good advice dark.

    im out of drugs and plan on visiting old best friends soon.

    im up for walks in nature, specially there, its really nice there.

    my girlfriend not being here IS a problem. she is my anti-drug, i have a problem with drug abuse.

    but i wont do any hard drugs while im on this little vacation.
     

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