So I'm thinking of dating a co-worker

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by darkrick, Apr 22, 2006.

  1. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    I dunno how to approach this really. This is totally new ground for me (the co-worker bit).
    For now I'm just treating it like any other female I'm interested in.

    I invited her to a friends 20th birthday. Essentially it's just a night out with other peoples.
    So, IMO, not a bad option to get to know her outside of work.

    So far it seems like I'm heading in the right direction, but just want some kind of advice on how to approach the situation in the long run.



    I'm 20 (21 in Aug) and she's 18 (since Feb) for anyone wanting that kind of info.
     
  2. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    Very very slowly...and do not sleep with her until you know she is mature, rational and responsible incase it doesn't happen to work out. She needs to be able to leave the personal stuff (good and bad) at home.

    I'm dating a guy from work and I'm in heaven. He is the greatest guy I could ever ask for. :wiggle::wiggle: I think I'm going to marry this one some day :)

    We started out sending retarded emails back and fourth at work just goofin off. Just jokes and stupid stuff. When my birthday rolled around I invited him... and then we started inviting eachother to things that were going on regularly on the weekends. It started out more just hanging out but it was pretty obvious there were feelings for both of us. Eventually he asked me on an actual date and... gradually the time we've been spending together has increased. We are getting closer and closer. We haven't slept together yet...but it's getting very close. We've been dating a little over a month I think. We are also planning on going on a couple trips this summer and other stuff :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2006
  3. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    So, I am very glad things worked out for you, Epiphany, but I hold the truth to the other side of the matter. Where it DIDN'T work out. And I know I will never date anyone at work again (that's probably a lie, but he better be 300 times more amazing than that peice) and Im still in the middle of all the stupid crap that comes along with it, and it SUCKS. Not to discourage you. But be willing to possibly find a new job if things go astray the bad bad bad way
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Mind going into a little bit more detail? Like what kind of crap is happening because of your breakup?
     
  5. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    Aye, that's the kind of stuff I want to know about.
    And I also never thought about a backup job just in case things went really bad.
    Probably better work on that sometime.
     
  6. poopies4u

    poopies4u Active Member

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    don't shit where you eat
     
  7. Vailripper

    Vailripper Daywalkers have feelings too.

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    Sure there is a chance it will work out great, but you have to ask yourself if you're willing to risk your job if it doesn't. If she is 18, most likely she isn't really all that mature. I think you need to be extremely careful, do you see yourself as being able to work with a potential ex on a daily basis?
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    If you are around 20 it's probably not a bad thing but once you get older and get a real job it's not really worth it. If you are just working some crappy college job then it's not really going to matter if things get shitty at work because you can always find a new job.
     
  9. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    It's true, we are a little older. I'm 26 and he is 28. As I said, maturity plays a big role. That isn't to say that someone that age can't be mature. You need to pay clear attention to what kind of person they are. If they are known to be in the middle of drama at all... don't go there.
     
  10. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Mine didn't work out, but it hasn't affected me at all really. I'd rather not be around her, but I don't mind all that much when I have to be. I can keep my feelings in check and just get on with the job easily, others can't. If you are someone who can't keep your emotions in check well then it is probably a bad idea.

    Same with her, if she is possibly a nutjob, don't go near it unless you don't mind possibly having to get another job.
     
  11. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    Yea. I'll risk my job.

    AFAIK, she's a lot more mature than my last gf; and she was older.

    Well, we're both casual. She only works Friday / Saturday. And I generally work whenever (Tuesday & Weekend mainly). So it's more of a 1 day a week that we're both working the same time - at least during Uni semesters anyways. Outside of that it could be almost every day.

    And I had to spend all but one subject with an ex during high school. That wasn't too bad.


    That's not a problem.

    This is one of the many things I'm trying to work out before I even go about taking it further than 'two people who work together'. I only know what she's like at work - and the occasional hint if we're ever off on lunch at the same time.
    But from everything I've seen so far, she seems to be alright in that area aswell.
     
  12. djskaw

    djskaw OT Supporter

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    yeah i dated a coworker

    turns out she wasnt mature at all and cant get over it now. always saying and doing really imature things and its been almost 5 months
     
  13. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    if you have what you consider just a job...then go for it.

    If you have a career...then i would think twice. Drama will come, and a career isnt worth being risked over it.

    At your age, my guess is a job though, so good luck
     
  14. saberman3000

    saberman3000 New Member

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    Don't date your co-worker period. It will cause you mental agony and emotional stress far more than you can handle.

    If you are very serious about your job and looking towards it as a career, I would suggest, look somewhere else.
     
  15. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    Well it makes it hard for the people we work with. I went to them and told them we broke up so they didn't put either of us in an awkward position...which is a strain to everyone there. It was hard to have to see him all the time, because after you break up with someone you usually get the luxury of just completely detaching yourself from them and just moving on. But when you see them 4 days a week at the very least, there's only so much moving on you can do. You're just kinda stuck until one of you leaves the job.

    And when they start dating someone new, it's pretty painful. Because through people at work you know about it, and you have to see them and know they are with someone else, which sucks. Usually you can just not think about it, but it's really hard when they are right there in front of your face to NOT think about it.

    It's just a really hard situation to deal with. Any more questions?
     
  16. GND

    GND BBP! OT Supporter

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    Wrong move unless you work in completely different departments.
     
  17. qwop

    qwop underground pirate OT Supporter

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    I wouldn't date a co-worker again.

    It's difficult because you have a lot in common, you spend a lot of time together - and I was very drawn to my ex.

    The problem was, I left for uni and partly due to me not being about ...and lots of other reasons... we broke up. Only one other person at work knew and no-one can quite work out what the atmosphere is amongst us.

    We've still not resolved our issues and I'm dreading going back to work there. I have to because I need the money for uni and I have a secure job there - getting employment where I live isn't easy and it'd be hard to get 39+ hours for a couple of months.

    So I've got to suck it up again over summer - and if it's as bad as Christmas, it's going to be a killer...

    (And it's been equally bad for both of us...neither of us have resolved our feelings and it's not through hate - it's all just confusion and it's awful.)
     
  18. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    :werd:
     
  19. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    I move stock in from the warehouse / work the floor. And she works on the checkout. Occasionaly finds herself attaching security tags to rods / reels but other than that, we hardly see each other. Only time we're really in the same place at the same time is when a customer needs a gas bottle filled and I pass her at the checkout to do the fill and if we're on a break at the same time :dunno:




    And neither of us are considering retail as a career choice.
    It's just a job to me. I'm not sure how important it is for her.
    But I'd have no problems leaving if things went bad.
     
  20. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    Then give it a shot...sounds like it could work out for you
     
  21. TransAmSG

    TransAmSG New Member

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    I'm currently dating a co-worker. I'm 47 and she's 26. Our relationship is great. I've never been happier in my life. I know the brass will have a shit fit when they find out... but you know what... I don't care.
     
  22. foad

    foad New Member

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    Aye.. that shit doesn't matter.. They will get over it.. once they realize she doesn't like them.. LOL! :eek3:
     
  23. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    Yea, now that I know what could happen (either way), I think it's worth it to try.


    Thanks everyone :)
     

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