so im not "emotional enough"...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by DesignerAddic71, Feb 18, 2005.

  1. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    i've been dating this guy for a couple months now, and he just told me that he doesn't think we could ever be in a relationship because i'm not emotional enough. im not one of those girls who is all into talkin about feelings and emotions and thoughts. i mean the sheer fact that i cuddle with him after sex is a big deal for me. not quite sure how to handle this, if anything i have been more open with him than with any other guy-i actually cried in front of him (HUGE deal). he says by me holding back, that i am not being myself around him. i tried to explain that's just how i am, there is not one person in the entire world who i have been completely open with emotionally. any suggestions on how to handle this? if it matters, i am 20 and he is 22
     
  2. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    i don't like my girls emotional. :dunno:
     
  3. Neo22

    Neo22 OT Supporter

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    Talk to him about it. Tell him what you told us.
     
  4. MSPOWNZU

    MSPOWNZU New Member

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    OH MY GOD, you are my dream girl, my g/f and I just broke up becasue she said I wasn't emotional enough for her. I told her I loved her but she said that wasn't enough, I cuddle after sex and that wasn't good enough. I'm not all about talking about emotions and thoughts. I'm only 24 and she is 20.
     
  5. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    You two should hook up.

    I mean, you and the author of this thread. Keep me updated:x:
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2005
  6. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    i did, and he sees it as i still a ways to go as far as being completely open with him. i see it as what more does he want from me? i've already been more open with him than with anyone else. he's one of those types thats always like "what are you thinkin right now" and i try to answer while still not revealing everything (its nothing personal against him, im just like that with everybody). but when i ask him the same thing, he asks me why he should reveal himself to me if i dont want to reveal myself to him.
     
  7. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    im the same exact way. all my girlfriends tell me that im such a guy when it comes to relationships. i dont do the whole emotion thing, i dont stress if my man doesnt call me during the day, it doesnt bother me when he goes out with the boys-he went to mardi gras a couple weeks ago and i was fine (as long as he brought me back some beads lol). and just like u, i told him that i cared for him and everything and that just doesnt seem to be enough.

    ever thought about moving to tampa?? lol if it wasnt for the fact that i cant survive a cold winter (i freeze here as it is) i would be up there in heartbeat! ;)
     
  8. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    !!!!!!!!!!!:love: !!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  9. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

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    This guy sounds incredably shallow. Why should he open to you if you don't open to him? Because emotions and feelings are not fucking currency, to be exchanged so everyone comes out even in the end. You open yourself to someone because it feels right to, not because you're returning a favor.

    It really sounds like your maturity level is above his. Let him leave and find some immature brat to play mind games with. It leaves you open to us guys who can appriciate you for who you are. ;)
     
  10. Isolt78

    Isolt78 Guest

    I have to agree that it sounds bad, but then again we don't know everything. If you decide it's worth keeping on with, this will probably just be one of those time things. So it seems to me that you'll either have to just wait it out or get out now.
     
  11. MSPOWNZU

    MSPOWNZU New Member

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    DAMN, so far away, ya it is cold up here, you sound like an amazing girl that would be perfect for me! If I had the $ I would be down there in a heartbeat!
     
  12. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

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    prolly him trying to tell you that he wants something hes not getting... i dunno what it could be.
     
  13. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    yeah i feel like he's running a guilt trip on me everytime i dont want to answer some deep emotional question. and now its kinda at the point where when we're on the phone every conversation somehow goes to him asking what i think about us and him and i what i want. i dont know if it an insecurity on his part or if he is trying to gauge (sp?) my side before attempting to take it further, but im not sure if this is something worth pursuing anymore. i've made so many sacrifices for him and us. i drive to tallahassee almost every weekend (almost 4 hours from my house) to see him and yet he still questions if i care for him. i just dont get it. shouldnt actions speak louder than words?
     
  14. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

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    They should, and they do. I always thought the point of a relationship was to enjoy each other, and to better yourself. It doesn't sound like either is happening. :hs:
     
  15. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    and thats what sucks is that he is a good person and i enjoy spending time with him, we can have the best time just layin around the house watchin tv. but i've always been the kind of person who doesn't date for the hell of dating. if i don't see any sort of potential for the long term, i dont see the point of dating at all. i just dont know if i want to end things because of this, or if i even have the heart to do so.
     
  16. dodgerdog

    dodgerdog If you're a racist, I'll attack with the North.

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    i feel where you're coming from. i'm not very open either. most times i'm pretty soft spoken, and it's always more worried most of the girls i've been with. however, i try to be open to an extent with most girls...but like you, i don't reveal everything. it's always felt weird for whatever reason; being completely open with someone. thinkin if he can't accept that you're just not completely open emotionally, he can't completely accept you. that's not good. communication will be key...but if he's just gonna complain and bitch that you're not 100% open or whatev, then it could be time to say :wavey: . although, if you feel he's worth putting up with, i think you two will find a way to work it all out. best of luck :)
     
  17. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    ya... it's hard. i'm like that, too. my best friend of 7 years is VERY emotional, and even though we've been friends for so long and i trust him completely, i still have a hard time opening up.

    if you've only been dating a few months, i'd say you have a point.
     

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