SRS So Im newly single for the first time in over 2 years.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by <Mark>, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. <Mark>

    <Mark> A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut wit

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2001
    Messages:
    8,961
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    On the course.
    I just broke it off with my gf who I have been with for over a year and a half. ( dated another girl for approx. 6 mos before her) Im pretty sure that I did the right thing as the relationship was disintegrating before my eyes, but like any other time Im having second thoughts. The main reason, and a pretty important issue, is that her trust in me was not very strong and I spent more time unhappy then I did happy. What can I do to make sure that even though I am second guessing myself, I don't do anything stupid based on emotion?
     
  2. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,897
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    YAY AREA & UCSB
    well you went with your gut feeling, you have to trust yourself :p sounds like you did the right thing if you were unhappy, i know how it feels.
     
  3. <Mark>

    <Mark> A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut wit

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2001
    Messages:
    8,961
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    On the course.
    I think I did. I love her, but at the same time I didn't see it lasting forever simply because I refuse to stay in a relationship where I am constantly having to worry about doing something wrong that would make her trust me even less.
     
  4. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    100,552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Franklin, WI
    You did the right thing. Now make it easier on the both of you and don't talk to eachother. Maybe again someday after months of space and new interests/experiences you two can talk again and be ok with eachother, hell maybe even become friends - but until both are on the same page with that, just leave it rest. I was with my ex for 3 years. We dabbled on and off for awhile after the break up, even when she was with another guy, she left him, got back together with me for a week, then left me again. We haven't spoke in a month now and it's much better. We might cross paths again someday, we might not - but nothing to worry/think about..just keep living your life and you'll run into someone new someday. I was very afraid of being single so I kept holding onto her - now I got over that hump I feel ok...I dip back into humps now and then, but overall - I'm happier alone, then in a very burned out relationship.
     
  5. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    You did the right thing by leaving. No relationship should have one person unhappy.
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    you sound like you have considered it very thoroughly already. Think to yourself, when you have doubts about whether you made the right choice...isn't most of that prompted by loneliness?

    When you're occupied and happy, do you have thoughts about going back to her?
    Or do you mostly remind yourself that, thinking back solely on the relationship, you're somewhat relieved to be free.

    I think you're glad to be free. Don't settle. And don't let loneliness or fear of the unknown drive you back to something less than what you deserve.
     
  7. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    18,745
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto
    First of all nothing lasts forever, and trying to keep something forever will put you into bitterness and misery, like being angry at a rock b/c it wont move! second of all friend, it sounds like you followed your gut and second guessing yourself is simply giving in to FEARS of your ego/mind...

    Be free!
     
  8. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    18,745
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto
    Nothing can last for ever dear friend... even our very universe won't last for ever... thats why buddhists practice creating intricate sand art then blowing it all away! to pay homage to 'change'... b/c change is a beautiful thing, its what creates your experience and your life.

    People thinking things MUST last forever are what make people miserable in marriages, or rather end in divorce... skewed is our understanding of relating to one another, we want to posess :)
     
  9. <Mark>

    <Mark> A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut wit

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2001
    Messages:
    8,961
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    On the course.
    Oh Im not going back, I need some time to myself. I like spending time alone.
     
  10. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    18,745
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto

    Awesome! then you are and shall be happy :)
     

Share This Page