SRS so im close to killing myself again

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by limited_skillz, Feb 20, 2006.

  1. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    i got out of high school 3 weeks ago, and ever since, its been a gradual decay

    i got accepted to the university of my choice, but ive been wasting time ever since

    i go to sleep at 6am, wake up at 6pm, i do nothing but eat, sleep, watch tv

    i wanted to use this time to get a job/money, but i havent gotten off my useless ass (well i did, but no ones even replied to me, so i havent tried further)

    more importantly i wanted to use it to bond with my parents, since they dont know the real me, and im moving out soon, so i want them to bond, but ive been lazy as well

    im afraid that all they'll see me as is a quiet loser, who stayed at his pc 24/7 and didnt participate in family activities like everyone else (mainly cause i have agoraphobia and hate going in public)

    someone help me get motivated

    plus i need some fucking friends too, i only have like 2 close ones anymore, and maybe like 5 acquaintances who used to be really good friends, but they have their own (more fun) life now

    i just dont have the opportunity to meet people, and im really shy too, so if im ever in public i just kind of dont do anything

    cliffs -
    im useless, need a job, need to learn to bond with parents before moving off to university.. plus im a pussy and dont have any friends
     
  2. 2500

    2500 Guest

    where ya from? you live in a boring ass area? cuz, even goin to starbucks or diners or something is cool to meet people. doesn't need to be some huge public affair. we're in the same boat on alot of things, so i can relate. but, your not gonna kill yourself, so don't worry about that.
     
  3. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    yeah im not gonna kill myself, but i have drunk away my loserness a few times this week, and im gonna cut myself if i keep thinking what a loser i am

    i live in a pretty shitty town, but i could still make friends if i werent so damn scared of social contact

    if im with my friends, what i have of them at least, then its not so bad, but we're living seperate lives right now
     
  4. 2500

    2500 Guest

    well, lets look at the facts. you take a blade to your arm, at that point, you cut yourself, and you are in the same place you were before, only in pain, and with scars now that will make people think less of you. so, what exactly will that accomplish? it won't accomplish anything.

    my theory, that i should listen to also, is that if you want a change, you need to change. i'm always down that i don't meet girls, and this and that, but at the same time, all i do is race cars. so, i don't put myself there, therefor i can't expect to get anything unless i meet a girl doing 140 down the higway or at the drag strip ya know?

    i think you are just in a rut, and, need someone to talk to. if you wanna chat sometime, leave your AIM name and i'll hit you up. i can relate with almost all of the stuff your saying, so, maybe we can help each other.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    There's too little pressure on the kettle , you have to kick your own ass (or get someone who can act like some kind of drill sarge) to get your butt back into action. Bring order in the chaos of your life. Do your homework, and don't dissapoint yourself. Being lazy will get you nowhere in life. You will have to take your life in your own hands to get from point a to b.
     
  6. svetlanalemon

    svetlanalemon A little blood and vomit on the car seat...

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    university = new oppurtunities

    for now, why do you have to do things that involve people? maybe you could get a job...... but if you're alone, bask in it, go to art galleries, rent some films, and then university will start and you will have the ripe oppurtunity to meet new people, who like you , also want to meet new people.
     
  7. Clarity

    Clarity New Member

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  8. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Job is the key if you want to make something of your time off. Stop waiting fora reply, you have to push by keep on requesting a reply. Job=money, meet new people, get your schedule on track, etc.
     
  9. interpol

    interpol you can't spell basement without semen

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    you're a retard
     
  10. elekt

    elekt New Member

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    no advice. but stay up brother
     
  11. t-dog

    t-dog New Member

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    Sleeping for 12 hours a day starting at 6am is a pretty guaranteed way to make even the most driven and happy person feel like shit and get nothing done. You might want to start with that.
     
  12. Dementio

    Dementio OT Supporter

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    I remember when I was almost exactly like that. I would sleep all the time, and ended up losing my job (which I hated anyway,) losing my apartment, and had to move back in with my mom temporarily. But, it did get better. I still sleep too much, and rarely get out except for work, but I'm better, and you will be too, but, like Darketernal said, you're gonna have to motivate yourself into doing something about it. Me, I joined the military. And no, I'm not saying that's what you should do, it's just what I did, but it did motivate me to do something with my life. All you have to do is find what motivates you.
     
  13. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    I like this advice the most. Thanks a lot.

    I'm just going to have fun by myself until university, I really don't need anyone else.
     
  14. pureaggie06

    pureaggie06 New Member

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    hey, I've been where you are in so many ways. Yeah, the University is a new place with new opportunities, and I definitely agree to take the opportunity to bask in being alone. However, a few things:

    1. get involved with something ASAP, especially if you're going to a large University. I've seen freshmen (I'm now a senior) literally wither here because they don't get invovled.

    2. I used to be really shy. To the point where I hated riding elevators with people! You just have to decide - what have you really got to lose? Especially if you're going to a University, there's so many other people you can hang out with should something go "wrong." But people are generally a lot more forgiving than I used to believe. BE BOLD. I walked into a new situation a few years ago and determined I wasn't going to be who I believed myself to be. I smiled really big and alot, walked into the room confidently, and introduced myself to nearly everyone in the room (about 30 people) and made small talk before the meeting started. I met some of my best, long-term friends that summer.

    3. depression sucks. so does being suicidal. I agree with DarkEternal in this aspect: you have to pick yourself up! I sometimes still struggle with depression and want to do nothing but sit around and do nothing. It stops when I decide I'm sick and tired of it. I have to motivate myself. I clean my apartment, finish all my homework, something, anything that I can complete in it's entirety that I didn't think I could. And... I have to worry only about what I think of me, not what others think of me. How can I handle a situation so that I'm at peace and I'm proud of myself?

    Anyways, I hope that helps some. Oh... some advice my dad gave me about finding a job that I didn't think was true, and it is: you have to follow up. Most places won't call you after you turn in an app. You have to call them. Good luck! Keep us posted :)
     
  15. Clarity

    Clarity New Member

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