So I turn to OT...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by bigfundamental, Jul 3, 2008.

  1. bigfundamental

    bigfundamental New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    561
    Likes Received:
    0
    My friends are worthless for advice, they can't take this shit serious and just call me gay and stuff. (im 19, they are all 20) So heres the story:

    Been dating this girl since mid May, and seeing her since mid February. So it started about 2 weekends ago, weekend of the 21st. I had asked her to come to my softball tournament, and she said she was coming. But about the time she was suppose to leave, she sends me a text saying she wants to go to a bday party with her friends in her home town. (we live about 45 mins apart) So im a little pissed since we had already made plans, but whatever it was suppose to be a big party so its not a huge deal.

    That following week we kinda get in a fight, and talk about whats going to happen after the summer, and I dont really like how shes acting, so i get kinda pissy. Minor fight.

    Well wednesday of that week (actually last week) she has to take her car in to get fixed. But she says she will probably get it back friday when we are suppose to hang out. Well it doesnt happen, the car isnt done. So saturday Im kind of missing her and bored, so I call her and tell her ill come pick her up so we can hang. She tells me its too far and that she doesnt want to waste my money. (money really isnt a big deal, one trip there and back is nothing i just wanted to see her) So i say ok i guess, well later in the convo she tells me how her friend came and picked her up last night from like 45 minutes away so they could hang! and she even payed for her friends gas. im like wtf she can come pick you up and hang but i cant? She just said she would feel to bad to do that to me...

    So Monday comes and shes suppose to get her car back, and were going to hang right when she gets it. Well she doesnt get it, thing still isnt done for some reason. Now im pretty pissed, its been a long time, and its partially her fault. I get over it agian, and we talk about this weekend. I say that she should stay with me on friday and saturday night to make up for all this missed time. Shes seeming a little iffy about it, so im like why does that not work or something? Shes like well I had plan with my friends (who shes hung out with the last 2 weekends, without seeing me at all) and i dont like to turn them down. So now im pissed because she turned my softball tourny down, to hang with them, but even after 2 weeks of not seeing her she cant turn them down to hang with me.

    We ended up getting in another long convo about the end of summer, and she says shes not sure how she feels. Im still feeling iffy about it, but eventually just changed the subject. I ended up telling her that its all up to her what she wants to do this friday.

    What I didnt tell her is that im really questioning this relationship if she decides not to pick me. I dont feel like she wants to see me bad enough, and if thats the case it will never work over the school year. I dont want to get more attached if its sure to end after summer.

    Am I over-reacting? What should I do if she doesn't hang with me on friday?

    CLIFFS: I dont want advice from you if you wont read the whole story.

    thanks OT :hs:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I hate to break this to you...but she's just not that into you. I don't know when, why, or where, but somewhere along the way she lost interest in you.

    It's pretty much over sweetie. You're young and I'm sure she is young. Even though 45 minutes away isn't a lightyear at your age and considering it seems you two will be further away at the end of the summer she's realizing this "relationship" isn't worth it.

    She's doing the annoyingly typical immature girl thing, which is where instead of just breaking up with you and saving you both strife she keeps doing things to make you mad (breaking all these get togethers) in hopes you'll get tired of it and break up with her, it's really that simple.

    If you were smart you'd suck up your pride, dump her and move on. You two clearly don't have a strong enough relationship to withstand even a 45 minute distance.
     
  3. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    14,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    FL
    seems like she's just not as into you as you are into her, sorry.. :hs:


    you have the right mindset, if it's not going to work now, how will it ever work in a a month or two when school starts?


    tell her the truth, exactly how you feel, and don't let her take you for a ride... kinda sounds like she keeps you around as an option for the attention and convenience. i mean, come on, you offered to pick her up and all..
     
  4. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    You are not overreacting. I agree with what everyone above posted - she's just not that into you. If she was, she would make time to see you regardless of other circumstances. Obviously you already know this in your gut or else you wouldn't have made this thread.

    I would advise you to break it off. Go ahead and tell her why. She may object and feed you some random excuses, but her actions should speak louder. She may not object at all, based on how she's been acting. I doubt she is really oblivious to how she's behaving.
     
  5. jonno

    jonno New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    63,823
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    fort sam
    stop talking to her... seriously. 100%. plenty of fish.
     
  6. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    52,552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miramar, FL
    .
    Biggest dot i could find.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Another good rule when dealing with this kind of stuff is:

    "anything other than a 'yes' is a 'no.'"

    What that means is if a girl does anything other than give you an enthusiastic "yes" in response to you guys hanging out or going on a date or doing whatever, she's not really that interested and you should move on.

    It's not worth wasting your time to try and increase her interest level if her interest level isn't that high from the beginning.

    There are other women out there that will be attracted to you naturally and you won't have to do much work at all. It's much better that way.

    Women like to not hurt people's feelings, so when she wants to say "no, I don't want to hang out," she will actually say "well... I have to get my car worked on..." (that makes it look like it's not her fault and so it's a good excuse).

    What an interested woman would've said was "well, I have to get my car worked on... but if it doesn't get done in time, I'd definitely like to see you on Monday, or I'm also free on Thursday" or something along those lines.

    An interested woman will make herself available to you.
     
  8. bigfundamental

    bigfundamental New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    561
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh boy all this advice to break up. But....

    Just now i talked to her on the phone, and she was in a really good mood. So i ask her if shes decided what shes going to do on friday. Shes like yeah i decided not to hang out wit her. Im like oh yeah whys that? Shes like do i really need a reason to hang out with you? so i asked her if she was going to stay with me for 2 nights and she said yes since she hadnt seen me in a while.

    I think i may just act normal this weekend, and see how everything goes. Is that an ok idea? Or just straight up bad...
     
  9. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    52,552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miramar, FL
    Go by what she does NOT by what she says. Her ACTIONS the last few interactions with you say she's not as into you as you tink, while you keep believing her WORDS.
     
  10. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    18,745
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto
    I would go with the consensus here, move on. She's not into you.
     
  11. jonno

    jonno New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    63,823
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    fort sam
    or shes just going to be available on her own terms... like when she wants a good dicking. if the thread starter is OK with that, then whatever. but it sounds like you're looking to be in an exclusive relationship with this girl.
     
  12. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    i have to agree with everyone else that it sounds like she is basically just over it and its probably best to just move on. but if you are still unsure, let her come out and see how she acts.

    i understand that her saying she wants to see you this weekend sounds good now, but that shouldnt erase 2 weeks of you wondering if she wants to see you, ya know? dont let her toy with your thoughts and emotions like that. you shouldnt stand to be treated badly, and so dont let her make all the decisions. do whats best for you, not just whats convenient for her
     
  13. jonno

    jonno New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    63,823
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    fort sam
    :werd: this girl is owning you dude and calling all of the shots. you're just waiting around be available for whenever she happens to want to hang out. tell her to fuck off
     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    low interest

    she wants you to break up with her so she doesn't have to do it herself
     
  15. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    yup... one of my favorite quotes: "just ignore what they say, and focus on what they do."

    for some reason this girl is stringing you along. you need to be firm with her and talk to her. tell her that you don't think that she's into you as much as you are her, and tell her it's over. :sad2:

    sadly, yes. :sad2:
     
  16. Punky72

    Punky72 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    Messages:
    305
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Missouri
    I agree with everyone else here...

    Plus, the weekend isn't here yet, I'm curious to know if she comes up with some excuse why she can't come over this weekend at the last minute...let us know what happens
     
  17. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    yes... i'm actually curious about that too.
     
  18. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2006
    Messages:
    21,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Or, plans with her other friends fell through so now he became her back up :dunno:
     
  19. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    14,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    FL
    DON'T WEAKEN!! stick to your gut feeling dude.. :o
     
  20. bigfundamental

    bigfundamental New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    561
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well wow im impressed, this has been top quality advice. Unfortunately my gut feeling is what you all have said, i guess ive just been in some self denial.

    Im going to go through with this weekend, see how she acts, what she says. Im undecided as to whether ill bring this subject up to talk to her about it, or just let it play out, so she thinks nothing is wrong is acts normal.

    Ill give you the detailed results on sunday.
     
  21. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    :cool:

    :sad2: sorry, tho.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    in 4 eventual update
     
  23. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Greenwood Village
    .
     
  24. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    971
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern NJ
    X2

    I'm with everyone else. She doesn't seem into you, i am sure her plans fell through with her friend and your the safety net for something to do. See how it goes, don't be awkward about it, and if the moment arises maybe question the relationship with her; see where she feels it's going. If she wants to keep it going she won't just dismiss the convo.
     
  25. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Greenwood Village
    i would bring it up the day she is leaving so you can talk face to face about it all then. If you wait the problem will come back and if your not face to face the issue will blow up
     

Share This Page