Background: Dated this girl for 1.5 years, spent about 5 days a week together for the last 6 of those months (we were practically living together). We talked about marriage, etc. We had never met anyone else who we got along with so well and were so perfectly on the same wavelength. When I had my list of "things I want in a GF," this girl fit like 99% of them (gorgeous, amazing in bed, same sense of humor, same taste in music, style, finance, food, movies, TV, same core values in life, same goals, etc.), except she was kind of nuts (as you'll see). Cliff's - We broke up in the first half of 07 and didn't talk for a few months. I was doing pretty ok - She called me like a month ago to ask me a computer question, and we ended up talking for like 2 hours (we have awesome chemistry and were always on the same wavelength). We ended up hooking that night. Bad idea. Wait, no. It was awesome, but it brought all the old feelings back, which sucked really bad for me. - We continue to talk occasionally online, but I realize that I don't like doing it. - Last Saturday she calls me (from a different number, otherwise I wouldn't have answered it) and asks me a cell phone question. She tells me about this guy she's seeing and I'm like "wtf, I don't want to hear this." Then she starts telling me how everything about me is better than with him and etc. Eventually the conversation turns to us. She starts crying and telling me how much she loves me and misses me and etc. She tells me to come spend the night with her. This breaks my heart, but... - I'm like "yeah right. I got burned last time, and you just finished telling me about this guy you're seeing." Besides, I already had plans with my friends. - Then Monday morning I get some txts from her saying how she really likes this guy and she's moving on and he makes her happy and stuff. I reply that I knew she really liked him on the phone on Sat, and that's why I didn't come over. Then I tell her to please never email, IM, call, or txt me again. I said if in the future I feel that we can be friends, I will let you know, but now I can't. - I get an IM from her that evening saying that she got my texts and this will be our last communication, but she said that once I buy a place I'm welcome to take her cat if I want (if you guys remember the cat drama from before). But for some fucked up reason, we end up chatting over AIM for like two more hours, reminiscing and stuff. - Strangely enough, as we're saying our goodbyes, my internet connection gets dropped. She calls me, crying her eyes out and apologizing for everything. She tells me how everything she does and everywhere she goes reminds her of me, how much she misses me, how she's still in love with me, etc. I say me too, and I wish things worked out differently. She said all she ever wanted was for us to be happy, and how ever since we broke up, every time her phone rang she hoped it was me, etc. - I remind her that she's dating a new guy, now, and he probably wouldn't want her calling her ex and confessing her love for him. I tell her she needs to figure out what she wants in life and to do what will make her happy. We wish each other well. I tell her to please respect my wishes and not contact me at all. And we finally say goodbye. I know it's kind of normal, but I hate myself for being so affected by her. I've been a mess ever since our phone call on Saturday. Imagine the girl you're still in love with calling you in tears and telling you how she's not over you and she loves you and misses you and thinks about you every day (basically the same things that happen to you), but at the same time, you know you can't be together. That fucks with your mind. It's like why? Why are you telling me this? If the next thing out of your mouth isn't "I realized I can't live without you and I would do anything, absolutely anything in the world to make it work between us," then stop telling me all this stuff that's just going to fuck with my emotions. I even told her when we were together that if we broke up that we couldn't be friends. We were too serious. So yeah, I have oneitis. And with good reason. It's very rare that you meet someone with whom you have such a perfect connection. It's not like "omg a girl talked to me, I have oneitis." It's oneitis based on statistical data. I'm scared of not finding someone else with whom I have that kind of connection (and who is really hot, haha).