So... I think my engagement has come to a bitter ending.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Cyrus., Mar 13, 2006.

  1. Cyrus.

    Cyrus. Swollen Member

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    Background...

    I met this girl 2 years ago.. She was working at a corner store, (she teaches full time, and helps her family with thier store on the weekends)
    Shes 30, im 26.

    Anyhow, we started dating, she was perfect.. (isnt that always the way?)
    We dated for quite a while, and then we decided we wanted to get married.
    Shortly after the engageent, he started shopping for houses.. We got a great deal on a house, and decided to move in together.

    Almost as soon as we moved in, things started to change.
    Sex went from a daily occurence, with alot of passion, to a once a week thing, where she didnt seem overly involved.
    We also became distant. We didnt hang out anymore, we didnt talk as much, basically, we started to grow apart.

    I tried for the last 9 months to bring ourt relationship back, but whenever i tried to talk to her, she told me I was being difficult, and that I should just "be happy".

    After several attempts to talk to her, and to get us back on track, I had given up. She told me that she is who she is, and nothing could change that.

    All I wanted was what I had when we started.

    That being said, and that being her stand on everything, i called a realator, put my house up for sale, (we had lived there together, we had bought it together, and we had discussed selling it at this point)
    and decided it was time to move on.

    After all this had happened, We talked one last time.. We were up until 7:00 am, talking about what had gone wrong, how it had gone wrong, and that we were not compatible.
    We agreed to divide our assets we had accumulated, (weve lived together in this house for a year) split the profit on the house ($70,000.00, ironically, we had bought the house from a couple who were having marriage problems, and were asking only enough money to pay off the mortgage they owed, we also bought at a time of year most people arent buying.

    It was sad, we both cried alot, over our failed relationship, however, we both thought it was best.

    Seemed as tho it was over.

    The next morning, she wrote me a letter before she left for work, to the effect of, lets try to talk things out and make this work, and she feels as tho she hasnt given our relationship a fair chance.

    What should I do?

    My gut tells me to tell her its over, and that the time to talk has passed, seeing as how ive tried to talk to her on many occaisions, but fell on deaf ears.

    My heart tells me that maybe ill get the woman back that i loved, even though I think I may have fallen into the trap. You know, that thing some girls do to hook a good guy, and then change...

    So far, im going with option A, but its hard to make the decision.
     
  2. ProneToEpisodes

    ProneToEpisodes New Member

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    :hug:

    Wow Im sooooo sorry.

    I dont have any advice just a :hug:
     
  3. PSIVIC

    PSIVIC New Member

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    Wow, that's a tough call, but if you love her then it's worth trying to sort it out IMO.

    Either way, good luck.
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    too little, too late is my take. good luck. :hug:
     
  5. Cyrus.

    Cyrus. Swollen Member

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    I agree.
     
  6. low20

    low20 Member

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    personally id say its over....you guys went through the whole process of selling a freaking house and THEN she wants to talk it out? I think it coulda happened before all of that but now I think its too late. Things change when you move in together, you suddenly see the person ALL the time, essentially you cant get away from them to easily, thats why sex diminishes. Its tough, but you gotta find someone who you can live with before you get married
     
  7. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I agree. I think she might be terrified at the idea of having to start 'over', find another man etc and that might be the reason she wants to give it another try.
    I would be happy I found out now instead of a couple of years down the road and learn from the experience.
     
  8. Cyrus.

    Cyrus. Swollen Member

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    :werd:

    After 1 year, we both come out better off, couldnt end in a better way, IMO.
     
  9. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    eject.jpg ?

    cut it now instead of drawing it out
     
  10. jared_IRL

    jared_IRL OT Supporter

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    That sounds rough! I'm in a similar situation, without all of the bad parts... Just got engaged, bought a house, started living together, and went through some changes... There were times I just about had to beat her to get to open up to me, but once we got the communication going, we were able to work through all of the challenges that we've encountered.

    If you have sold the house, and are now planning on moving into seperate houses or apt's, why not see how things work out without the stress of living together? perhaps it was just too much too soon.. Or, perhaps it is over. But it should become much more apparent with you two not living together. She'll have to put in some honest effort to keep the relationship alive, and if she's not into you, she can distance herself without having to worry about you coming home every night. Either way, you'll find out her true motives...

    Good Luck!
     
  11. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I would give it another chance if I were you, but it has more to do with the effort you guys want to put in, and if both of actually want things to change, b/c for things to change you must change YOURSELF :) GOod luck either way it will work out for the best
     
  12. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    Sorry to hear :(

    Listen, there is little you can do to change her (Im not saying you are), she has to do it on her own... however one quiet evening sit down and re-evaluate yourself, your behavior, your goals and such. Any change within you, will also effect, and change her. Hope it helps :) Good Luck
     
  13. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    You tried so sort it out plenty of times. Her wanting to 'try again' now is nothing more than a move of desperation.
     
  14. moomoo3210

    moomoo3210 Active Member

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    I think move on man..
     

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