SRS So I think I have a crush on this girl in my project group

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by newsroom_can, Mar 18, 2005.

  1. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    To this point, well at least after coming to the university, I've never had any problem with asking girls out, getting rejected or talking to them. Also, I've never been looking for a serious girlfriends. I just liked to have fun with girls.... Nothing serious.

    Anyhow, in one of my university classes, I am working on this group project where I am working with three other classmates. (Two girls and one guy)

    Mostly, we are talking about our project when we meet twice a week. But as we got to know each other better, we started to talk about other stuff as well.

    I think I am really starting to like this one girl in my project group. I've never felt this way about a girl in few years. I can't seem to stop thinking about her. I don't know why but when she is around or sitting next to me... I seem to say all these stupid things.

    My concern is this. Sure,I could ask her out but if she says no, then it would be ackward for both of us when we work on our projects.

    If I wait until the project is over... then the semester will be over and she might go back to her hometown for summer.

    Any advice for me? Is it just another crush that will go away?
     
  2. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    END THE CRUSH NOW.

    Look, It's not like you're her boss/co-worker. If nothing more than a crush, you shouldn't make so much out of it- which is what you're doing. I'm perfectly fine telling a guy I have a crush on him and still being friends if he doesn't feel the same.
    Crushes are evil. They're like imaginary relationships inside your head. Almost real. Fabrication of the future. And you need to unbottle it before it manafests into obsession.

    Look,
    Walk up to her and ask her out to a cup of coffee or whatever. Compliment her. Don't be a shady mother fucker- tell her her hair looks nice or whatever. That way, it wont be such a shock to her when you tell her you think she's hot.

    The first mistake is to make something big out of NOTHING. That freaks girls out. We understand that you think we're physically attractive with out even knowing us- and telling a girl that- is a PLUS- no matter if you are interested in her or not.

    I honestly do not understand the problem. She says "no", you say "Oh well, silly me".
    But if you start fabrication and imaginary relationship. Just imagine how freaked out someone she'd be without and prior knowedge of your feelings and just throwing all your cards out on the table.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I generally agree with the "Don't shit where you eat idea", but this is a university class, not a regular working life setup. There is a built-in time-limited duration that you'll be seeing/interacting with her.

    Also, it should be noted that university is THE time and place to hook up and explore different relations. I don't know about you, but my university had about 35,000 students.

    Excluding geezers, faculty and staff, that worked out to about 15,000 girls within 2-4 years of my age, all milling about the campus, and most with plenty of spare time on their hands -- or at least, flexible time. There is simply no better time and place to meet other people.

    So now, you've met someone of interest, and you find yourself wanting to get to know her more.
    Great. So why don't you? I'm not suggesting you lay it down and "ask her out" that seems to be a large barrier for you, and it raises the stakes unnecessarily. Just get to know her a little better.

    When you feel comfortable (and you will KNOW when its ok to ask for more -- because it won't seem weird anymore) you can proceed onto more casual situations.

    Become her friend. That is step one. Always. (I'm talking about relationships, not sex hookups/flings).
    After you've become her friend, you can evaluate whether this is actually something worth taking further, or if it was simply lust.

    If it is worth taking further, now comes the big one...does she feel the same way?

    If she does, then you don't need to worry about end-of-semester or her going home for the summer or any of those structural details. If she's truly into you, she will arrange her circumstances to make it possible to be/see/get to know you more.

    Good luck.
     
  4. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    I'd make the group the last priority.
     
  5. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Well, getting an A is really important for me at this point.
     
  6. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Say if a guy asked you out but you were not interested in that guy, how would you react? Would you still be a friend with him?
     
  7. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Thanks.

    I usually do not have any problem talking to other girls or having a good time with them.

    But with this girl, I don't know why I am having such a difficult time...
     

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