LGBT So I just found out

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Style, Aug 21, 2008.

  1. Style

    Style Boioioioioioioioing

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    that my brother is gay :ugh: :wtc::wtc::wtc::wtc:

    Just heard it from my sister last night. I want to fucking cry :wtc: I'm quite homophobic, to be honest.

    And apparently, my mom and sister knew about it for more than 7 years!! Yea, he's been gay for that long. It fucking hurts!

    The reason came as a shock is because my bro is like this super good looking guy, had TONS of success with women when we were younger, and could literally have any chicks he desired. I mean he was this macho thing. He used to date the hottest girl at school, was mega popular, and now, BAM. He has a fucking b**f***** :ugh:

    It's my bro though, I fucking love him to death, but now with this, I'll still love him obviously, but wtf?

    I know I can't change him (I think my mom has tried for the past several years), but I just cannot accept it. No him. You're gonna hate me for saying this, but to me, being gay is a choice you make. It's not genetic or any other crap. You're not born with it, and he he is the proof of this. When he was like 3 years old, he fell for this chick and "dated" her for so many years. I mean at this age, you don't know the difference between dating a chick or not. He was naturally attracted to the opposite sex.

    So what should I do? :sadwavey:
     
  2. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

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    I don't really see the point of this, you really expect us to say anything other than 'tell him you support him no matter what?'. Because that's all you can really do in this situation, well, the only positive thing that is.

    And what your brother is going through is called latent homosexuality, as in, always there just well repressed because of the rampant homophobia that it sounds like your family shares. Sexuality also isn't as black/white as gay/straight from birth, everyone has different ways of knowing/finding out. I didn't admit it until I was fucking 22, and that was just to myself, let alone other people. You have no idea how easy it is to ignore something. Denial is the most predictable human response and it IS powerful to the point you could believe you were insane for having the ability to do so.

    It's quite possible all these girls were him just trying to change himself, deny who he is, maybe even use them to mask his true desires for fear of rejection, happens all the time, again, denial helps.

    To you it may seem like BAM, he is now gay out of nowhere, but to him it was probably a long, lonely painful journey that has taken over a decade. And I'm no expert but I know of other posters here who can site pages of stuff to explain the whole 'he liked girls when he was 3 so you can't be born gay' theory.

    And I don't believe we're born that way either, but I hardly see how the next logical leap is 'choice', can you honestly name one thing about your personality that is a choice? I mean any sexual appetite you have, can you explain why you choose to like it? What about little things like movies, music, books, etc. Did you choose to like them or did you just like them? There's also your professional life, think of what you want to do with your life, what jobs you prefer, did you choose to like them? Maybe you can shed some light but from my POV I didn't choose to like anything, ever. I just like what I do

    So I'd wait around a little longer, there'll be alot more sound and coherent advice to come
     
  3. Style

    Style Boioioioioioioioing

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    Thanks for your reply.

    I just had a convo with my mother about this for the first time. Yea, she knew about it for the past 7 years or so as well. She said she tried telling me about it on several occasions, but saw I wasn't ready for it. And now that I remember, she pops out the question of "hey, what do you think of gay ppl..." I'd always change convo because I just hated this topic.

    So she tells me she was disgusted at first, and didn't accept it until 3 or 4 years later. To be honest, I really didn't want to know. The way I found out is that when I picked up my sister from the airport (she spent her holidays in France with my bro--my bro lives in France btw), I asked her "hey, I have this feeling he doesn't like chicks" And she laughed. And I knew. Gosh I wish I never asked her this.

    The good thing (thank for that) is, according to my sister, he's not the type where he holds his partner's hand in public or anything. He's not :greddy:. He doesn't share his homosexuality with anyone. So that's a very good thing.

    And about these girls, the hottest chicks were CHASING him. Honestly, I used to be jealous (in a good way). I mean I was really happy for him. He was Mr. Popular in highschool. My mom asked him about all these girls and all, and he just said he wasn't happy with them. I mean being in a relationship with the same chick for 2 years, and not being happy? Gosh, his friends used to tell me all about his sex stories, how he would have threesomes (with 2 other chicks, mind you). I mean what's gotten to him? I just cannot accept/understand it. I just don't.

    I know, eventually, I have to accept it, but I guess it'll take time (a LOT of it).

    And this thing you mention about liking stuff not being a choice. I completely agree with you. I don't like something because I choose to like it. I just like it because I do. However, I think we are all influenced by external factors. What I mean your environment plays a vital role in influencing to like something over something else. For example, why do I like this movie instead of another one? What has shaped me to like this over that? Why? Have you ever asked yourself this question? Why do I like apples but hate bananas? And I think being gay follows the same kind of principles.
     
  4. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    I hate you so much

    I wish people like you didnt exist
     
  5. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    I'm heterophobic

    I think being gay is natural and being straight is a choice
     
  6. Style

    Style Boioioioioioioioing

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    :crying: :rofl:
     
  7. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    read the next post homophobe
     
  8. dallasfan824

    dallasfan824 New Member

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    Wow. I feel sorry for you.
     
  9. philvia

    philvia SUCKIN ON MY TITTIES LIKE YOU WANTIN ME CALLIN ME

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    :iough:


    i feel sorry for the gay one because he has a prick brother(thread starter)
     
  10. elevator

    elevator The tenants think it's wonderful! ヽ(´ OT Supporter

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    your brother is probably taking it up the ass as we speak -think about that :mamoru:

    It's his life. Your acceptance is appreciated, your approval is not needed.

    He shouldn't have to hide his sexuality because you don't agree with it- it has nothing to do with you...

    It isn't a choice, I had gfs in hs. Could you choose to be sexually attracted to a guy?

    That being said, pics of brother? :hsugh:
     
  11. philvia

    philvia SUCKIN ON MY TITTIES LIKE YOU WANTIN ME CALLIN ME

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    if i had a brother like you i'd move far away and never tell him anything either :noes::ugh:

    i hope he bathes in success and monies and boys while you fail at life
     
  12. zortnac

    zortnac New Member

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    Good, it should hurt, and I hope it does. As it hurts, consider this: it's nothing compared to what your brother has likely been going through for years. Really think about that for a second. Put yourself in his shoes an imagine what it must have been like for him to face homophobia in his own family, the people who are supposed to be there for him and love him no matter what.


    I don't feel this is a place to get in to a debate or start schooling you on just how wrong you are about that since your feelings for your brother seem to be much more important an issue here, suffice to say that you are wrong, people don't choose to be gay.

    Just keep in mind that someone like your brother may have had countless influences, pressures and reasons to date women and try to come off as heterosexual, but that doesn't mean that he was actually ever heterosexual, or that he was actually ever attracted to women to begin with. It's also perfectly plausible that he's bisexual. Not everyone is completely gay or straight.

    It's not at all an uncommon story, and unfortunately your response to it is just as textbook and predictable: you're guessing simply because of his past behavior, that he must have been straight at some point. That's just not the case.

    There seems to be a lot about you I want to criticize, but I have to calm myself and realize you did seem to come to this board with some amount of sincerity, and so maybe you're at the start of a process of accepting your brother for who and what he is, and eventually improving your views about gay people.


    What should you do? Talk to him. More importantly, listen to him. If there's something you don't understand, ask him. Take the time to remind him that you love him no matter what, but as for the "...but you know how I feel about gay people" part, bite your tongue and keep it to yourself. It's not something he needs or wants to hear.
     
  13. dallasfan824

    dallasfan824 New Member

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    Explains why his brother had to move to another country.
     
  14. zortnac

    zortnac New Member

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    I take back what I said about holding back the urge to criticize you, you flaming, unfathomable douchebag.

    Holding your partner's hand in public doesn't make you ":greddy:," and remind yourself why the reason he didn't share his homosexuality with you in particular is because he know you'd be a stupendous dick about it.

    Chances are really good that your brother, like most people coming out of the closet, will become more comfortable with his newly self-accepted sexuality as time goes on, and you can either progress as a human being and start realizing that there's nothing wrong with him expressing his sexuality in public just like most every other straight person does, or you can continue living with your mind in a brace.
     
  15. I am very similar to your brother. Most of my family is homophobic and makes fun of gays to my face...they don't know I'm gay yet...

    EXCEPT for my brother. We are brothers and always will be and he supported me and had ZERO threat/anger/disapproval that you are showing and I love him for this. If your brother is anything like me he is going through a world of hurt now and has been for those past 7-10 years. That's nearly a decade, 1/8 of his life...in PAIN because you and your family couldn't accept him for he who is. I've been going through pretty severe pain just thinking of coming out to my parents and it's only been a month. I would kill myself if it took 10 years, I can't deal with this pain when it strikes so hard.

    All I'm saying is CALL your brother, tell him you love him at least. You don't have to agree with his lifestyle, that is your choice, but love him for who he is -- your brother.
     
  16. Style

    Style Boioioioioioioioing

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    I still love my brother. After all, he is and will always be!!

    I dunno this whole thing is just new to me, and I'll need time to accept it.

    I had this very VERY good friend of mine back in hs who also turned out to be gay, but he got to the extreme of even being a male prostitute. I don't care who this guy is, but he was immediately out of my life. Fucking gross and disgusting.

    But to be honest, deep inside, now that it has infected my bro as well, I want to know about this subject as much as I could. One way or another, I will NEED to accept him for who he is, and not what he is. I realize that.

    I still can't fucking believe it :ugh:
     
  17. Style

    Style Boioioioioioioioing

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    And you see, having a family is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you in this world. I'm referencing to having your own kids. Spreading your seeds. How can you guys live with that? How can you accept the fact that you'll NEVER have children, and grandchildren...? And don't tell me about adopting, because that is the most egocentric/selfish thing you can do.

    My sister's ex, well his dad divorced his mom and now has a male partner. He turned out gay. His mother doesn't want to do anything with the father OR the son. My sis tells me he cries every single day cauz he NEEDS a mother.
     
  18. Style

    Style Boioioioioioioioing

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    You know, maybe you're right. Maybe he needs his own family to approve of him. I'll talk to him...
     
  19. philvia

    philvia SUCKIN ON MY TITTIES LIKE YOU WANTIN ME CALLIN ME

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::bowdown: LOL
    you cant be serious

    if gays want kids they can just get themselves a surrogate. and :gtfo: if you're going to troll in the gay subforum
     
  20. skreid

    skreid New Member

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    As long as you keep referring to homosexuality like this, you're going to get very little respect or help on the subject. Especially from your brother.
     
  21. skreid

    skreid New Member

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    Yes, taking a kid from an orphanage, educating him/her and giving this kid your life and spending the rest of your life raising him is SO damned selfish of all those who adopt :rofl: Think of the lives that would be affected if you took away adoption. My father and uncle were adopted by my grandparents, so there's a pretty good chance that me, my brother, my sister and my 4 cousins wouldn't exist if my grandparents hadn't been so fu***** selfish and raised them.

    oh and p.s. having children isn't the most wonderful thing to everyone. I know this wont mean much to you coming from a gay guy, but I don't want children. But I know plenty of straight folk who don't either, so there ya go poked a hole right into that theory.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2008
  22. elevator

    elevator The tenants think it's wonderful! ヽ(´ OT Supporter

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    what's your age/ bros age?
     
  23. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    that my brother is gay :ugh: :wtc::wtc::wtc::wtc:
    ugh face and crying??
    stfu, this is the closet, keep that stuff for the main forum


    Just heard it from my sister last night. I want to fucking cry
    Cry about it somewhere else, it’s not something to cry about, and definitely not in this section.

    I'm quite homophobic, to be honest.
    Thanks for the honesty... prick.
    "Hey, black person, I'm racist and I don’t like you, will you talk to me and comfort me?"
    Get real

    Yea, he's been gay for that long. It fucking hurts!
    Get over it; it has nothing to do with you.

    I mean he was this macho thing. He used to date the hottest girl at school, was mega popular, and now, BAM. He has a fucking b**f*****
    Wow you are disrespectful dick head.
    I hope your brother never talks to you again.
    Fucking butt fucker??
    You are really going to talk like that here??
    Seriously gtfo of the closet.


    It's my bro though, I fucking love him to death, but now with this, I'll still love him obviously, but wtf?
    Yeah sounds like it....
    If my family talked to me like that, id tell them to get bent I don’t ever want to see them again.

    but to me, being gay is a choice you make.
    You have no right to make that call unless you are gay
    and for some it may be a choice,
    some its not,
    but guess what... its none of your dang business

    It's not genetic or any other crap. You're not born with it, and he he is the proof of this. When he was like 3 years old, he fell for this chick and "dated" her for so many years. I mean at this age, you don't know the difference between dating a chick or not. He was naturally attracted to the opposite sex.
    :blah: :blah: :blah:
    Great reasoning Sherlock.

    To be honest, I really didn't want to know.
    Guess what... I bet he didn’t want you to know either... and I don’t blame him. You are an asshole

    The good thing (thank for that) is, according to my sister, he's not the type where he holds his partner's hand in public or anything.
    Why is that a good thing? Do straight guys hold their girlfriends hand in public? If two people love and care about each other why is it any of your concern if they hold hands? I kiss my boyfriend at stoplights occasionally.
    OMG THE HORROR SHIELD THE EYES OF THE PRECIOUS BREEDERS!!!


    He doesn't share his homosexuality with anyone. So that's a very good thing.
    With all due respect
    Fuck off
    Do you have any idea what that does to someone suppressing who they are on a daily basis?
    No, and you don’t care
    You don’t love your brother
    You love who you want your brother to be and as long as he fits your mold then you are happy.
    So fuck off

    I mean what's gotten to him?
    It’s been there for 7 years apparently, and most likely longer than that.
    It took me 5 years to come out to my mom.
    And it’s not a problem anyways
    Just you are a prick that can’t see past himself and don’t want people to be happy apparently

    I just cannot accept/understand it. I just don't.
    This is why he didn’t tell you......


    And this thing you mention about liking stuff not being a choice. I completely agree with you. I don't like something because I choose to like it. I just like it because I do. However, I think we are all influenced by external factors. What I mean your environment plays a vital role in influencing to like something over something else. For example, why do I like this movie instead of another one? What has shaped me to like this over that? Why? Have you ever asked yourself this question? Why do I like apples but hate bananas? And I think being gay follows the same kind of principles.
    I love how after all the garbage and homophobic crap you posted, you try to act like you are reasonable.
    lol
    stfu
    You are pathetic.
     
  24. geniks

    geniks king of the hill

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    I hope he beats the shit out of you. Sounds like he has a reason to not tell you his deep down secrets.

    Why are you sad your brother is gay? Why the fuck does it matter?
    How can you make all these intolerant judgments when you don't understand it?
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2008

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