LGBT So... I have decided that I'm going straight.

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by mikelcroft., Sep 4, 2006.

  1. mikelcroft.

    mikelcroft. New Member

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    Boyfriends suck. Maybe I'll learn to love the vag. :barf:

    I know most of you don't know me... but anyway, I'm Mikel. :wavey:

    today I found out that my boyfriend of one year cheated on me... with this...
    [​IMG]



    this guy messaged me on myspace yesterday, telling me that he had sex with my boyfriend a few months ago... my bf found him on gay.com went to his house, and yeah.

    I asked my bf about it, and he said he's never seen him before, and that guy was a psycho just trying to get in my pants or whatevs... and not to believe what he says.

    he took it even further and texted me all day while I was at work,that he loves me soo much and would never do that to me, etc... then today after a whole lot of work, I finally got him to admit it.

    I know that I'm not the most attractive guy in the world, and my bf constantly reminds me of that... But I don't know why he felt the need to go out on me.

    If he didn't wanna be with me, he could have said, and I'd have left.


    I could understand that sometimes people do stupid shit on the spur of the moment, but for him to actually go online, look this guy up, get directions to his house, go over there and have sex with him... I just don't know why someone would do that when they're with someone. and he's done it before, too... the exact same way.


    meh, sorry for the useless thread... just needed to vent.
    I'm sad. :wtc:
     
  2. mikelcroft.

    mikelcroft. New Member

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    thanks for the support. :hs: :hug:
     
  3. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    If you sucessfully do it write a tutorial :hs:
     
  4. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    Damn dude sorry :hug: All I can do is say that I for one know what you are going thru only with me it was over 8 years and over 20 guys. And you unattractive? Hardly! Your now ex sounds like an asshole and it's probably better that you are no longer with him!
     
  5. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    it's just a jump to the left...

    Fucking wet look doesn't work for anybody....
     
  6. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    I know how you feel man. :( My ex did the same thing. He was finding guys online, from my house, on my computer, while I was at work. He'd tell them that he was living with his friend.

    Needless to say it didnt last much longer. :)
     
  7. Navvik

    Navvik Active Member

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    figured i'd toss my 2 cent into the ring. if your boyfriend did that then fuck him, your attractive and you'll find another guy. one who'll treat you right. girls arent any better half the time. saw you pic on post your pic and your pretty cute, and if your bf cheatedon you with that wet creepy guy, then he's blind:hug:
     
  8. FastCat

    FastCat New Member

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    OK... One more post for you to read. Your boyfriend cheated on you.... unfortunately it happens a lot both in the heterosexual and homosexual communities.

    You said that your BF constantly reminded that you were not the most attractive person... Honey right there was your first clue that he truly did not love you. If you love a person you can see past their faults both in their personality and physically. Now the real question is why did you stay with someone who disrespected you so much?? A lot of people stay with those who disrespect them out of convenience and a need to be with someone/anyone.

    So here is what I would tell you if you were sitting in my office. Forget him.... He does not deserve your sadness, he does not deserve your emotions, and he is not worthy of creating such a mess out of your life and your emotional state. So you may have to be single for awhile... while this does not seem a pleasant option; it does have it's advantages! I don't care if you have a scar on your face, are 80 pounds overweight, are bald, etc... Someone will find you attractive and someone will want to love you... for you! BUT... You also need to start loving and respecting yourself, and part of that self respect is surrounding yourself with people who genuinely like and appreciate you for who you are! :)

    Image/Beauty are horrible things that society pushes on everyone... You have to weigh so much.. have hair a certain way... etc to be sexy and attractive. Well I say BULLSHIT! As long as you take care of yourself (Hygiene, grooming, look neat and clean)... then fuck society! If you wanna be thin and tone... then do what it takes to be thin and tone... If you want to have a little extra weight.. then be comfortable in your skin! I have seen people who are thin that are ugly and people who are heavy that are hot.. It has a lot to do with how you feel and how you show the world you feel through your own self acceptance and love! So either love your body and all it's flaws or do what you can to make it so you can love yourself physically!

    And ... Start to love yourself as a human being. We all have flaws... We have all made mistakes.. A lot of us have not achieved our goals we set for ourselves when we were younger... A lot of people have low or lowered self esteem... It is learning to love yourself - respect yourself - and celebrate who you are; that will eventually help you in the esteem department!

    :)
     
  9. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    im sorry :(

    all it takes is time though, you'll get through this and be better for it!
     
  10. LikkleBaer

    LikkleBaer New Member

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    Sounds like a Jerry Springer Show... 'I was so mad at my cheating ex-boyfriend that I went straight!'

    Seriously though, the guy sounds like a creep and you're better off without him.
     
  11. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    women cheat too...

    This has nothing to do with sexual orientation... this guy just made a mistake and cheated on you...
     
  12. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    :werd: Just ask my brother and sister. Both of their spouses cheated on them.

    Sometimes I see it as a mistake, but rarely. I think it usually comes more as a thrill of doing something they shouldnt, thinking they will never be found out. Other times, I see it as a way to purposely destroy a relationship because they cant thing of a better way to end it.
     
  13. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Well... speaking as someone who cheated....

    I cheated because I was missing something very important in my relationship... My partner at the time had fallen out of love with me and was showing me no affection whatsoever... no touching, no hand-holding, no sex, no kind words...

    So, I found it with someone else... It was not a thrill of doing something I shouldn't. I was feeling horrible about it the whole time. For me, it was that my relationship was in trouble, and neither of us had the balls to either end it or commit to fixing it.
     
  14. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    Didnt see if from that point of view, thanks Sam. :hug:
     
  15. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    As someone who has been cheated upon, I have difficulty being unbiased here. The hurt and pain that was caused by his actions are beyond belief.

    Yes I understand when people don't get what they want from a relationship they seek it elsewhere. What I don't understand is why people aren't man enough to just end the relationship or at least open up the conversation by saying something like "you know this isn't working for me. I need X or am feeling that X is missing, how can we go about fixing this?"

    If the answer is you can't, discuss where to go - end things, redefine the relationship etc. An answer to me is never do something behind a person's back, I view that as a coward's way out.

    (sorry Sam, didn't mean to offend you here, just speaking as one who was cheated on and it was not cause he wasn't getting any at home - it was for other reasons)
     
  16. spiffy_badrock

    spiffy_badrock I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

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    Im sorry about what happened...
     
  17. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    no offense taken.

    I'm not defending my actions. Cheating was definitely the wrong choice on my part.

    My relationship had problems... big problems. And those problems led me to cheat. Did I intend to? No. I happened to meet a man who I instantly fell in love with. If you had asked me three hours before I met him if I would ever consider cheating on Mike, I would have said "Absolutely not"

    But, this man walked into my life... and it was like he woke up a part of me that I had put to sleep. He melted my frozen heart with his kind words and his displays of affection. And over the course of two or three days, we fell in love with each other, and we had sex one time.

    Should I have confronted Mike instead of having sex: Absolutely. But here's the thing. I didn't even know that I had shut down my heart until this man awoke it. I had slowly become emotionally dormant without even realizing it.

    So, when I realized that my actions had serious consequences, I confronted Mike about it (about two weeks later). We talked through why I did it. I told him that I needed him to show me affection again. I needed him to cuddle with me on the couch like he used to. I needed him to give me a kiss while I was making dinner, I needed him to make love with me more than once every three months.

    And we tried to work on the relationship for about two months. And one day he turned to me and said "I can't show you this affection, because I don't feel that affection for you anymore. I have fallen out of love with you and I've felt this way for a long time."

    And in the end, Mike actually pushed me to pursue something with the man who I cheated on him with. Mike wanted me to be happy and he knew that this man made me happy. Thing is: It wasn't about this guy. It was about what this guy awoke in me. It was about me becoming whole again... It was about me becoming "special" again in someone's eyes.

    So, I think every situation is different. And yes, Mike and I should have communicated earlier than we did. But, there were circumstances that didn't allow that to happen (yes, I'm being vague here because I don't feel like sharing the minutia of the eight months that our relationship slowly went to shit before our eyes).

    My point is: Sometimes cheaters aren't the assholes. Mike and I knew the reason why I cheated. And he didn't blame me for the cheating because he knew I deserved to be loved and that he wasn't the man to provide that love.

    Obviously, everybody's situation is different... but that was mine.
     
  18. mikelcroft.

    mikelcroft. New Member

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    wow, thanks guys... You're all great. :love:

    I asked him why he did it... He said at the time he didn't feel he was attractive, and this guy was telling him how sexy he is, and what he could provide for him, etc.. So yeah, I don't think that's a good enough excuse, people tell me that stuff online all the time, but I don't go over to their house and have sex with them while my bf is at work. It sucks...

    I did the predictable thing, and gave him another chance... I guess in his defense, this was 6 months ago... and alot has changed from 6 months ago, we both moved out of our parents houses, we got our own place, we both work at the same place (different departments) and now we've completely come clean with one another... and I'd like to think that we're closer than ever.

    I'm not really even so pissed that he did it, what really got to me is that he lied to my face about it... Swore up and down that he didn't do it... when he really did. and add to that, that he had unprotected sex with this person... I'm trusting that everytime I have sex with him, he's clean... and Yeah... I don't want to die of AIDS because he was feeling insecure and had to go out on me.

    Iunno, I'm hoping I don't regret my decision to stay... I don't think I will, I think I can believe him, but ya know... It's hard, when I've been let down so many times by him. :hs:

    I told him if he isn't getting what he wants from me, and he thinks he can get it from someone else, to let me know and I'd be on my way... and I told him if he does it again, or if I even have reason to suspect it, I'm gonna break his face... and then go.
     
  19. mikelcroft.

    mikelcroft. New Member

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    ...and the weird thing is... now this guy keeps on talking to me through myspace, asking me if I need anything... telling me how sorry he is, and if he'd have known that my bf had a boyfriend, he would have turned him down. :hsugh:

    Roan (my bf) says this guy knew he had a boyfriend, and said "what your boyfriend don't know won't hurt him" and he's the one who made the first move.... I know it takes two and all, but.. this guy is just scandalous.

    He sent me messages telling me how I deserve better, and how if he could be with me, he would be only with me. :ugh:

    what a freak.
     
  20. Navvik

    Navvik Active Member

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    cut him out altogether, he's the worst kind. like a cancer or something.
     
  21. tony

    tony Guest

    :crying: no w why would you do that :squint: go BI :x:
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I'm a straight guy, and I'm gonna have to agree with what Sam said as a reason for cheating.
     
  23. GreenMoney

    GreenMoney New Member

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    So what do you expect? Stop being gay about the whole situation.....wait....
     
  24. Josey

    Josey New Member

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  25. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :hsugh:
     

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