SRS So I had/have a friend who's a junkie...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Achmiel, Mar 22, 2006.

  1. Achmiel

    Achmiel Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshi

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    ...and he's pissed at me because I left him "stranded". I tried to give him advice, help him out, etc. But in the end I couldn't take it anymore and decided, in my best interests, that we shouldn't be friends until he either gets help or quits. Am I in the wrong here? He thinks I should have stuck by him. Now, I'm getting a guilt trip from him, and I feel like I am being manipulated. I have my own problems, I don't need to worry about his at this point in my life.
     
  2. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i would have done the same as you
    in fact, I've done the same thing. there's only so much one can do to help someone. If you have offered help/support to your friend on numerous occassions, and he's declined, then you just have to let go

    once you're out of his life for a while, maybe then he will come to realize how he "needs" you or misses you, or wants your help. if he doesn't see it, then he just needs to find it from someone else or experience things on his own.

    it wouldn't be a healthy relationship if you stayed in the friendship and continued to be his friend while he's "sick"

    and don't bide into his "guilt trips"; if you feel like you are being manipulated, then you are.

    hope all goes well
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    You should talk to the guys in Road to Recovery too - they can help you get the resources you need to deal with your friend. I would have done the same thing, by the way... you can only help those who want to help themselves, and there's only so much you can do.
     
  4. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    if you've tried everything and he won't accept your help, it's time to let go. i recently just read an article about knowing when to end friendships. once you're at the stage where the relationship is going nowhere, it's time to consider breaking off. friends will come and go as you grow older, interest will change, priorities change, and personalities will change as well. don't let him drag you down with him.
     
  5. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

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    it's admirable that you did your best to help but some people just can't be helped. he is obviously too far into it to seek help on his own or to want help for that matter. you need to take care of you first and if he's bringing you down then you just have to cut him off. you don't need his problems
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Sometimes the best help you can give a person is to tell them that they should help themselves. The power of life lies in your own hands, for you are captain of your own ship. Abusing constantly other people's resources in the thought that 'they will help if i cry out' , is wrong in that sense that people if possible have to learn to stand on their own legs.
     
  7. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    You did the right thing.

    Opiate addicts will do ANYTHING while dope sick. Most need to jump high just to reach rock bottom.

    Let it go. You can't give him the help he needs.
     
  8. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    You tried your best and it seems like he didnt try nearly as hard as you to even help himself. Maybe he will realize he's pushing away people that matter and will try to shape up. If people dont want to help themselves, then there's not much for you to do that will make them change their minds.
     

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