SRS So, I fucked up

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by N1XRR, Jul 13, 2007.

  1. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    First off, this girl I've been seeing lives with 3 of my very good friends, and I stay over at their place on a regular basis (weekends).

    Last week, I pulled a muscle while over at their place. Friday night, when we got back her roommates had a bunch of people over but I was dead tired. So, I asked her if I could sleep in her room, on the floor. She said yes, so I went to sleep.

    A few hours later she woke me up, "Mike, this is going to be very bad for your muscle, why don't you sleep in my bed? Just stay to the left side, and no fooling around."

    So, I woke up in the morning to a phone call from my friend Matt. He asked me how the muscle was doing (since I was supposed to go karting with them) and I told him "Much better since someone let me sleep in their bed last night". We had a laugh, all in good fun, eh?

    Apparently later that day, another friend of mine who is back at his parents place for the summer called Matt asking advice about this girl he's been seeing. Matt told him a few things and then told him "Your falling behind, even Mike spent the night with a girl".

    If everything would have stopped there, it would have been cool.

    But, my friend who is at home for the summer decided he was going to get me back for a prank I played on him earlier this year which resulted in him getting 8 stitches in his knee. He called my parents and told them that I had spent the night with a girl.

    Now, my parents are cool with this, I'm 25 years old and as long as I'm happy, they really don't care...not that its their concern anyway. My mom calls me on Tuesday. She asks about how its going, how my car is doing (had a transmission problem last week)...then she asks me "Did you at least use protection?"
    "What?"
    "I heard you spent the night with a girl"
    "So......wait, who told you that?"
    "Your friend Alex called...I'm not trying to pry, I'm glad you found a girl you like"

    Now, this is where I *REALLY* fuck up. I called this girl, and told her I had a really weird conversation with my mom. Explain the whole thing, thinking it would be a funny conversation of misinformation.

    This girl didn't call me back until last night (Thursday) at about midnight.

    "Mike, I'm really protective of my name. Now your mom thinks I'm a slut, you obviously think this is a big joke, and I'm really weirded out."
    "This isn't a big joke to me, I didn't mean for any of this to happen."
    "Can we just talk about this tomorrow?" (At this point, it sounds like she's starting to cry) and she hangs up.

    FUCK.

    I send her this email right afterwards:
    Guys, I'm not looking for people to tell me what to do or what I did wrong. I don't really know what to do, but I have a really bad feeling that if I try to contact this girl before she's ready to talk to me again that it will just make things much worse. Thing is, obviously I can't trust my friends anymore, I needed to talk about this and this is the only place I know of where I can be somewhat anonymous (I know I'm not....but I don't think anyone here knows anyone involved).
     
  2. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Sounds like she's overreacting. If I were you I'd probably try to find a girl with a sense of humor that actually with you and your friends.
     
  3. wack0

    wack0 New Member

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    I'm really protective of my name.

    chick sounds nuts dude, move on.
     
  4. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    You know what, I keep telling myself "I don't want advice, I need to figure it out on my own"...but I find myself checking constantly to see if anyone posted because in reality, I need some support. Thank you.
     
  5. wack0

    wack0 New Member

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    just dont worry about it. by sending emails and apologizing so much you are coming across as a tryhard. find a new girl thats less annoying.
     
  6. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    Easy advice to give, very hard to take. Its hard to "not worry"
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    ASD?
     
  8. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    Already drama and all you did was sleep in her bed :rofl:. pull chocks and fly on. Don't expect anything more that some fun and don't put up with drama or that is all your going to get.
     
  9. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    You're really overreacting to this. you were doing fine until you sent that serious email, just sit back and wait for her to contact you.
     
  10. Wait it out, let her calm down first. In all honesty you did nothing wrong. Good Luck.
     
  11. giz

    giz Active Member

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    dawt. Don't send emails, don't talk about it with her, etc. You did nothing wrong, she is coming off and crazy.
     
  12. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Yeah, in times like that it's not a big issue untill you make it a big issue.
    I'm sure if you told her the right way she would have laughed instead of getting weirded out.

    Anyway, it's nothing to appologise for you didn't do anything wrong
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    "I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you trying to take advantage of me. This is all part of your master plan to seduce me, isn't it. Well, its not going to work. I'm not that type of guy.
     
  14. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you are buying into her over reaction. You can show respect for her feelings without letting yourself get into a panic. You should always be looking to moderate her extremes, not feed them.

    You should reassure her that you will make things right in a cool and in control way.

    though i second the idea that this girl sounds a little nuts, arn't they all? :rofl:
     
  15. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    Yeah, I need to come clean

    I never even thought of this as a problem until recently, and didn't know where else to turn.

    It seems I have an addiction to lying. Why does this matter? Let me explain.

    For some reason with my friends and family, I seem to have this need to make up bogus stories. This can be triggered by an event (it gets WAYYY over exaggerated), something I did (such as being very late, and making up a story as to why) or nothing at all.

    Example: A few years ago I was 45 minutes late to an autocross, at which time I was the only person who had the keys to unlock the equipment. I made up a story about how I was stuck in line for 30 minutes, yelled at the manager, etc etc etc and finally got out of there 45 minutes later.

    That was pretty bad, but after a while I started believing it and the story became such.

    But, I've noticed also, with any girls I go after, when things start to go well, I tell what seems to be a small lie, it gets thrown WAY out of proportion and things end up going sour. I think this side of things is caused by my need to attention. Things are going well, I'm not getting so much attention and I need to do something to change that.

    Example: This girl I'm seeing right now, I left her a message on Tuesday afternoon telling her I had a odd conversation with my mom about her and that I need to talk to her. When she called me back, I told her my mom asked if we where sleeping together and that a friend of mine who is out of town had called her and told her that we where. Looking back on it, obviously all I wanted was attention. But last night I felt so bad about the whole thing, I didn't get to sleep until well after 4AM, only slept for about 2 hours and tossed and turned the entire time.

    I can't even tell the truth to a bunch of strangers on the internet I have absolutely no ties to in any way, shape or form. This is sad.

    This has happened over and over again for many years. To the point of, as I stated before, I start believing the lie. The thing is, I've noticed that I was doing this in the past, and for 6-9 months I was doing great, and then it started again with me even realizing it.

    Well, after things went sour last night, I just couldn't stop thinking about why I messed this up. Why did I do this to myself? I don't know if I can get past this with the girl, but I need to get past this for myself. I have not told her the truth, she already thinks things are sketchy as hell, and rightfully so. But I think if I told her exactly what I did, she will cut ties with me completely.

    So, I made up my mind "No more". If I can get past this, maybe I can manage to not do this again in the future. But I'm very very afraid that I will do this again, without even thinking about it, as its happened already.

    I know this isn't a mental hospital, but I need to take a stand and start over. I'm really sorry to everyone who read the previous statements and dispensed advice....this is why I'm looking for help.
     
  16. alkalinesolo

    alkalinesolo Active Member

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    She sounds like just another crazy woman to me. See if she'll calm down about it and realize it's not a big deal.

    If she won't, then everything will be full of drama with this girl from now on - if you feel like dealing with drama then continue pursuing her, if you don't want to deal with drama then get out quick before you become more attached.
     
  17. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    Blah, she's afraid people will think she's a "slut". No real advice here except keep that in mind when you speak with her again.
     
  18. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    I'm not sure where to go with this except to suggest you repost #18 (sans last paragraph) in The Asylum.

    It sounds like you have a problem with pathological lying.
     
  19. jpolakowski

    jpolakowski New Member

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  20. Moved to asylum this isn't vag stuff.
     
  21. deuceforty

    deuceforty between rupture and rapture

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    your fucking 25. and you are worried about yoru mom thinking your sleeping with girls.. when im a parent, i would be VERY worried if my son was 25 and NOT sleeping with girls... and why the hell did you tell her anyway?
     
  22. lost04

    lost04 justme

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    she'll get over it. as long as she knows you're sorry and it was not intentional (which you made quite clear) don't worry about it. everything will be fine.
     
  23. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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  24. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    Oh...
    I'm not even sure what I can do about this.
     
  25. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    :ugh: your friend is a dick I'd kick the shit out of him then never talk to him again...who calls someones mom at 25 years old to rat him out about sleeping with a girl :ugh2:
     

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