LGBT So I don't consider myself gay...

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Biomechanoid, Feb 28, 2005.

  1. Biomechanoid

    Biomechanoid New Member

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    I don't fantasize about men, I don't get turned on by seeing a man naked (in fact it's a huge turn-off). Yet... I find transexuals to be extremely erotic to the point where I'd rather date a transexaul than a normal girl. I do/did drag because it's fun, it was a turn on, and I met a lot of really nice people I would never had met otherwise. Yet I can't place where my sexuality lies. With all the therapy I've been goin through for my depression, I've been looking at myself from new angles, and for the life of me trying to define my own sexuality is the hardest thing for me to do. is there anyone even remotely in the same boat as I am?
     
  2. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    No, but why do you feel the need to define it?
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2005
  3. Moonwalker

    Moonwalker fagulous

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    yeah - just go with what feels right.. who cares what others think. Be yourself and dont worry about it.
     
  4. Biomechanoid

    Biomechanoid New Member

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    part of the things my psychologist has me doing is trying to define my moral and emotional self, and a part of that is trying to define my sexuality. We think that part of the reason I had my emotional troubles was because of my "confusion" when it came to sex, which is why I'm trying to define just where I stand sexually.
     
  5. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    I don't think you can say that you shouldn't try to define your sexuality. Especially since many people identify themselves very strongly with their sexual orientation, why deny clarification in that aspect of yourself. If you're anything like I am, you'd like to be able to say one way or the other, what you are—for whatever aspect, not just sexuality.
     
  6. masan

    masan Pardon the Interruption

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  7. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I never thought of you as 'gay'. Maybe 'queer', but not gay, homosexual, or even bisexual.
     
  8. Biomechanoid

    Biomechanoid New Member

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  9. HisXLNC

    HisXLNC ๑۩۞۩๑ Hot ๑۩۞۩๑

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    Similar boat, yet I am not to the point where i'd prefer a TS woman over a genetic woman.
     
  10. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    eccentrosexual?
     
  11. lsutigerzero

    lsutigerzero Guest

    such a great way of putting it. I find it's better to stay open to all possibilities,which is how I found my first love. didn't expect it, but I mean whoever can describe to you their "exact" type is a douchebag!:p
     
  12. dannycarey

    dannycarey New Member

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    Im just as confused as the rest of 'em...

    live your life and dont let a counsellor put you into any kind of box.
     
  13. Duster

    Duster Guest


    Yeah,but have you ever had a penis in your mouth???
     
  14. PurpleSplat

    PurpleSplat Guest

    I'll bite.... what's the difference btwn being "queer" and being "gay"? :o

    As for Biomechanoid, your psychologist seems bent on defining oneself. Which is surprising since I wouldn't think a psychologist would feel that your situation is a result of being "undefined", if you will.

    I'm studying in psychology myself, personally, I would think that any psychologist worth his or her PhD, would focus on why you feel depressed and possibly acceptance of your intricacies before starting to define anything. I don't feel that definitions of oneself serves much more than the appeasement of society and it's views.

    Just be who you are and try to find acceptance in your uniqueness.

    I've been in school way too long when I can actually use big words at 6:45am. :eek3:
     
  15. Ferron

    Ferron So yes, I'll see you there.

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    You'd be surprised what trained and well-respected psychologists will tell people to do. My friend told his mom that he was gay, and she told to sleep with a woman to make sure. I lost all respect for her as a psychologist after that (she is the head of school psychology in a county).




    Flash forward to today, that friend starting dating a woman, moved in with her, and recently ended things. BECAUSE HE'S GAY!lc
     
  16. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...let me introduce you to CoCo, the queer theorist. :mamoru: Okay, in general 'queer' is an umbrella identity term encompassing lesbians, questioning people, gay men, bisexuals, non-labeling people, transgender peoples, and anyone else who does not strictly identify as heterosexual. 'Queer' originated as a derogatory word, but currently it is being reclaimed by some people and used as a statement of empowerment. Some people identify as queer to distance themselves from the rigid categorizations of 'straight' and 'gay'. Some people, however, reject the use of this term due its connotations of deviance and its tendency to gloss over and sometimes deny the differences between these groups.

    Queerness, in the work of theorists like Judith Butler and Eve Sedgwick, is as much a semiotic as it is a social phenomenon. To say that someone is 'queer' indicates an indeterminacy or indecipherability about their sexuality and gender, a sense that they cannot be categorized without a careful contextual examination and, perhaps, a whole new rubric. For gender to be, in Butler’s words, "intelligible," ancillary traits and behaviors must divide and align themselves beneath a master division between male and female anatomy. From people's anatomy, we can supposedly infer other things about them: the gender of the people they desire, the sartorial and sexual practices they engage in, the general elements of culture that they are attracted to or repulsed by, and the gender of their "primary identification." While in practice each of these categories is rather elastic, it is usually when they do not line up in expected ways (say, when a man wears a dress and desires men) that one crosses from normative spaces into 'queer' ones. In Butler's view, queer activities like drag, unexpected identifications, and sexual practices reveal the arbitrariness of conventional gender distinctions by parodying them to the point where they become ridiculous or ineffective.


    Portions of this view are framed from Hedges article, "Howells's 'Wretched Fetishes': Character, Realism, and Other Modern Instances".
     
  17. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...I literally was just thinking of the same thing. :mamoru:
     
  18. HisXLNC

    HisXLNC ๑۩۞۩๑ Hot ๑۩۞۩๑

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    Oh how things have changed. It's now the complete opposite. :o
     
  19. OneLifeOneLove

    OneLifeOneLove If You Ain't Outta Control, You Ain't In Control.

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    why waste money on counselor when you can come here instead?

    love whomever, love whatever.. there's no need to define anyone nor anything.

    just as long as your happy with no regrets.
     
  20. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    Pre Op or Post Op?

    I went to rehab with a "T Girl" (that's what she called herself), and she is now a very good friend. She was scheduled to have her final operation this month. I need to call her and see how things went.
     
  21. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :mamoru:
     
  22. Carrots

    Carrots New Member

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    Sounds to me like you're just a guy who likes trans women and women who were born that way. So long as you know what you want, why bother with a specific name to describe it?

    If you're more comfortable with a term, how about "ladysexual?" :mamoru:
     

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