SRS So I didn't go home for a week

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kirbys Autumn, Dec 7, 2007.

  1. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    So, it all started about a few weeks ago when I started helping my bf and his aprents clean a restaurant at night working a graveyard shift type of thing. I explained this to my dad, came home on Tues. night with my bf. My dad acted like an immature ass. I'm there in the kitchen while my bf is setting up the Wii in the living room and my dad asks me why have I been sleeping over with "those people". I tell my dad by bf is in the living room and he tells me he doesn't give a fuck (what a respectful dad huh? :rolleyes:).
    So, I decide that since he doesnt want to listen to me that I work on weekends and I can't come home during that time that I was moving out. I told my mom that I was going to be picking up my stuff and be gone by Monday.
    My dad calls me today to ask me what the hell I think of life and why I haven't been coming home :mamoru:. I told him that it's because I tell him things and he refuses to listen and understand so I wasn't coming home. He tells me that he's going to throw all my stuff in a black bag and to pick up by Sat. I tell him I was going to move on Sat. anyway. And he says fine "since you want to live on the street" I tell him I'm not living on the street, I'm living with my bf and his parents. He keeps screaming and I hang up crying. :wtc:

    Anyway, nobody has to reply. I just wanted to get that off my chest. My dad thinks I'm still a little girl and wants to make decisions for me. I may be 19 yrs old, which I know is still pretty young, but ever since I was 15 I told my dad I was moving out when I turned 18. He has to start letting go. I love my family, but I got my own decisions to make, and my own life to live.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2007
  2. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    Your dad has problems
     
  3. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    Awh, KA :(.

    I think you made the right decision. You've obviously tried time and time again to talk to em' and explain the situation with no avail.. You made a decision for yourself and you stuck with it, there's no harm in that.

    I'm glad on the other hand to know things with you and Kirby are better and better by the day. Parents will always be parents, you'll never be able to change them. It's unfortunate that your pops is seeing things the way he does, but as time goes around I'm sure he'll begin to realize and respect the decisions you make.

    Don't neglect mom and dad though, no matter how "rough" things may be. Call them, stop by, say hi.. Unless he shows that "you're-not-wanted-round-here", it's the least you can do to keep a relationship with them.

    Friends come and go, family is always there.
     
  4. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    That I definitely will do. I'm very close with my mom. I've told her everything all along and although you can tell it hurts her a bit (I'm her only daughter and now she's only got 2 boys in the house) she understands what I'm doing. When I just decided to move out on Tues. I sat down with her and talked with her almost the whole time I was there (my bf played on the Wii and PS2 with my bros). I explained everything to her and what I wanted to do. And she was completely there for me. I love my family and that's not going to change. I just spoke to her now about what happened to my dad. And both my mom and I agreed. I'm just going to act like nothing's wrong. Just let him cool off and accept it. He'll come around eventually :hs:
     
  5. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I think you did the right thing by moving out :bigthumb: I had some issues with my parents when I was younger and we didn't get along very well and at one point they said I needed to "change" or get out. I moved out a couple weeks later and I've never regretted it. We get along fine now too. Sometimes it's easier to get along with family if you don't have to see them every single day.
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Sometimes it's really hard for parents to let go and allow/help their kids to grow up. His rudeness might be his way of dealing with painful emotions....yes men have emotions also.

    I think you're making the right decision also but don't be surprised if he does an about face and becomes the nicest guy in the world. Then offers to let you move back home....after apologizing of course. Once you're out, stay out unless you simply can't make it on your own.

    It's never easy to leave home but IMO It's much harder to leave the longer you stay. It's also difficult to leave again when you've been out and had to go back.

    Anyways, good luck and it's good to hear you aren't just writing them off. When you get to be my age, you'll look back and wish your parents were younger.
     
  7. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Maybe he just wants something better for you then cleaning a restaurant late at night at 19 years old?
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    there is so much wisdom here

    Yeah. :hs: Exactly.
     
  9. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Moving out is a good step. I did at 18, and would have whether it was to live with my now-fiance (& his parents), or to go back to NJ. It was quite hard dealing with my mom all the time, getting angry over stupid stuff and always having a problem with what I did or said. Now that I'm not there anymore (and haven't lived there for the last 2½ years), we get along much better. (Although, now I want to get the hell away from the future MIL instead...)
     
  10. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    I only do that on the weekends? They don't really care about that, it's just the fact that I won't be home on weekend nights.
    My actually job is at an office Monday-Friday 9-5...they like my job just fine.

    My bf and I are planning on getting married in the near future. We will be going to my parents house today to give them the news that we are planning on getting married. So, now we're a bit nervous, waiting for my parents to get home and see what my dad's reaction is. This is actually one of the reasons my bf (well fiancee actually) and I want to move in together. Will update tonight :big grin:
     
  11. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    I never wanted her to work with me, she offered to come along on weekends, she's stubborn. :squint:
     
  12. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    Besides, she's marrying me asap, I'm not gonna have her move in just because we're buddies. I know better than that.
     
  13. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    okay, have fun being married at 19 years old.


    :ugh2:
     
  14. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    Have fun being a worthless piece of shit you fucking troll.
     
  15. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    Do you have a problem with me being married at 19? :mamoru:
     
  16. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Congrats :big grin: My wedding is in a little less than 2 months :)

    My mom has been iffy about me getting married - because she's unhappy [I attribute that to her marrying someone 17 years older than her, saying "no" for 7 years to his proposals and finally giving in as if she were settling, and how she knew he'd cheated while dating and whatnot also]. She's kinda jealous I'm so happy, and therefore doesn't ask about the wedding or anything. My dad is ecstatic. From what I gather though, yours won't be! Good luck when you tell them :)
     
  17. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    good job
     
  18. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Why are you guys in such a hurry to get married?
     
  19. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    I'm not a troll. I just don't agree with the path you're going down. I'm not a communist dictator, do whatever you please... err do as you are.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2007
  20. BlaXicaN

    BlaXicaN OT Supporter

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    yeah I think you're growing up too fast but your parents put you in that position. Just be careful and think things through as you go through this transition
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Hah, I know you'll hate me....but what he's worried about is pretty valid. You're 19 years old, in his mind you are his little girl still. You also live under his roof so he technically has a right to know where you are, what you're doing and actually care about it.

    That being said, all I came in her to say was that you need to move out-and you did, so yay! However, the fact that you are moving in with your boyfriend and his parents is extremely troublesome to me. I know you might say that it is a short term thing, and at first his parents might be very sweet and open....but do NOT stay there long.

    You need act like an adult in this situation and think and act for yourself, not just settle on living at their house because it is nice that your boyfriend is there. You say you and you boyfriend are actually plannijng on getting married? Well here's the reality check, if you are grown up enough to think you should get engaged now then you have to be grown up enough to get both of your shit together and afford a place on your own.

    PS- I've always really liked you and thought you had a good head on your shoulders, so I'm writing this because it's the first time I've been surprised by you and I feel the need to put my thougths out there from someone a little older and wiser. Like a big sister.
     
  22. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    congrats on the engagement
     
  23. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    thanks :)
     
  24. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    Update: We went to go speak with my parents (my dad actually). My fiancee asked for my hand in marriage. We all spoke at the table (my mom, dad, uncle, me and him). We let my dad talk and say all he needed to say. Long story short, he doesn't think it's cool that we're getting married so young. But, he said the final decision is ours and he gave us his blessing. I guess everything pretty much went A LOT better than what we expected. So, I guess this is it. We have plans and now it's time to move forward. Thanks everyone for the support :big grin:.
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Congrats! You never answered my question so I'm going to ask it again because I'm curious....now what? You guys are engaged, are you really planning on living at his parents house? What are your plans to move out, etc?
     

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