SRS So I broke up with the gf of 2 years..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by nofriends, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. nofriends

    nofriends OT Supporter

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    We've lived together now for about 9 months or so and everything was ok for the most part, but there was always an underlying lack of trust on her part. I've never cheated on or even thought about cheating on her, but for some reason she could never believe me.

    Anyway, so I work at 630 every morning and my normal routine is log in and check my gmail account once Im at work. Gmail has the capability to track if you have any other sessions open and from what IP and what times they originated. I started to notice that my gmail account would have activity every morining at roughly 625 or so while I am on my way to work and it originated from my home IP.

    I kind of dismissed it for a while, but one morning she emailed me asking if I had received an email of hers. I told her I didnt receive it, and she told me to check my recycle bin. Apparently I had deleted it on accident and somehow she knew that I did. So I really started to get suspicious and ended up installing one of those stealth activity monitoring tools on my home PC.

    So it is recording everything she has been doing for the past few days and I was really disturbed by it. She logs in like clockwork after i leave the house, checks all my emails (work and personal), chat logs, sent items, deleted items, archived message, forum posts and website activity.

    I really do love this girl, but I told myself I have to draw a line somewhere and I think this is it. I just told her about 45 minutes ago and she begged me to reconsider. We both cried and she took off, to where I dont know..

    I feel terrible, but in my gut I know it was the right decision in the long run.

    I guess I just needed to get that off my chest in an attempt to rationalize what is going on. :sadwavey:
     
  2. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    I wouldn't put up with that either. Good move IMO.
     
  3. seismic

    seismic New Member

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    Good decision, she has a lot of problems to work out before she'd be the right person to be in a relationship with. She doesn't seem like she wants to work on it either. She could have come to you about it, instead of snooping around.
     
  4. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    I'm not saying what he did was wrong, but he didn't even give her a chance to work on it...

    Either way I don't know if I could have put up with it either.. I mean going through your stuff on a DAILY basis is a little :ugh:

    Breakups suck. Good luck man. :hs:
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh shit, I remember your thread about her in the Vag. Good work, you'll be much better off.
     
  6. nofriends

    nofriends OT Supporter

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    I've given her a few chances in the past. I caught her reading my chat logs before and let her know that invasion of privacy/lack of trust is something I take very seriously.

    She actually drove down to my Moms house and is putting my mom through the drama right now. Joy.
     
  7. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    wtf. She drove to your moms??

    Uhm.. i think it's a good thing that you got out of this relationship. That sucks.
     
  8. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :werd:

    snooping is not healthy. she wouldn't have been satisfied, whether she found something incriminating or not.

    she has some severe trust/insecurity issues. she needs to deal with these issues before being in a relationship.
     
  9. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    If I were your mom I would just shut the door in her face and if she continued to ring my door bell I would just call the cops.
     
  10. yourfather

    yourfather New Member

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    Smell that OP?

    That's the smell of sweet freedom.

    Good luck in finding a new best girlfriend

    :)
     
  11. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    yep. this is very unhealthy behaviour for her and for a relationship. Good move on getting out of that one.

    I feel bad for your mom :hs:
     
  12. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    This statement always intrigues me.

    Yeah you can do a little bit of fixing by yourself, but how is anyone supposed to get past trust problems if they're not given the chance right then and there to work on it with someone?

    That's like saying, 'Oh, you don't know how to swim? Ok well you need to be alone and teach yourself but you can't go anywhere near or in any sort of water." :bowrofl:
     
  13. northw3st

    northw3st New Member

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    great decision IMO.
     
  14. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    she can get a swimming instructor
     
  15. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    why would you even not consider dumping her?
     
  16. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    agreed. She was definitely not the right one, and the relationship would not have ended well
     
  17. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    he'd given her plenty of chances
     
  18. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    she was given two years. She wasn't learning
     
  19. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    he gave her many chances
     
  20. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    what makes you think he didn't give her many chances? This was the last straw, therefore he broke up with her.

    Giving someone chances != threatening to break up and then not doing it when they cry, that's power playing
     
  21. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :rofl: that's right, you wouldn't want to be left in the water alone if you didn't know how to swim. therefore you'd hire a swimming instructor. in our case of the snooping, you might want to looking into counseling...both individual and couples counseling.

    trust/insecurity issues don't go away on their own. no matter how well an SO behaves in a relationship, the insecurity is still there. like i said before, they're normally not satisfied, even if they find something incriminating.
     
  22. phEight

    phEight ...

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    With love comes trust. She didn't seem to trust him, therefore I do not see how she could've possibly been "so in love with him". That type of love is not true love, the type of love you're speaking of is the type of love that experiences jealousy, paranoia, issues of trust, etc. It's temporary love.

    It's different with a teenage daughter. You fear for their lack of decision making skills and their immaturity leading them to make bad choices. With an adult companion it ought to be different.
     
  23. seismic

    seismic New Member

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    It's been a few days, how's it going TS?
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2009
  24. Ichinichi

    Ichinichi take dat blue pill

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    Proper move, TS. How we holding up?
     
  25. Frito

    Frito New Member

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    :werd: well put
     

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