So I backed out on proposing...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Socrates, May 28, 2006.

  1. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I was planning on proposing tonight to my girlfriend, but I did not.

    I told her I was going to propose before I went to Iraq, and tonight was really the last chance to do it, and she questioned why I did not. I told her I didn't think either of us was ready, and it was too soon, and she started crying pretty bad.

    She is very devoted and faithful, so it was hard. I hated seeing her crying like that, but I had to follow my own advice, since I always tell people to don't live an unhappy life just because they are scared to hurt someone else's feelings.

    The plain and simple truth for why I did not is I honestly don't think I have dated enough, and haven't looked around enough. I am only 19, I graduated high school a year ago, half of the time since i've been out of high school has been spent on military duty with the Marine Corps, and the next 10 months of my life will be spent in Iraq. As soon as I come home from Iraq, I will start college and i'll buy my own house.

    In your opinions, is it wrong or immoral to break up with my girlfriend (who has been devoted and faithful) simply because I want to have other girls before I get married? I want to have more fun first.
     
  2. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    you're still really young dude. i'm 19 too and i cant even imagine getting married right now. you're going to iraq for 10 months..that's going to suck dick being away from each other for that long. isnt she only 17?! damn dude..

    i've seen other posts by you where you talk about this girl and say shes great, so i wouldnt dump her just to meet other women. if you do decide to dump her to meet other women and realize that she was indeed the one, you probably wont get her back.
     
  3. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    In answer to you question, no it is not immoral. It is almost the most fair thing you can do for both of you. That way you wouldn't wonder what else was out there and if you made the right decision and are with the right girl. This of course comes with many consequences.

    One, you will hurt her, as I'm sure you understand. And women never forget pain, and it has a lasting affect on their future decisions.

    Two, there is the possibility that she IS the right one for you. And after you go out and have your fun, live life, and then decide that she was what you wanted all along...that she won't be there. Maybe she wont be able to open herself up to you again, maybe SHE will have found someone better, or maybe she still wont be over the fact that you left her in the first place...whatever it might be, there is a serious possibility of her not letting you back into her life and her heart.

    But you never know, what if she ISN'T the right one for you? I guess you just have to weigh the options and decide if what you could possibily gain is worth what you would lose to do so. Good luck.
     
  4. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I don't know what your situation will be but maybe you can hook up with some iraqi chicks. Why don't you ask her if it's cool with her?
     
  5. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    19 is very young, you've got an entire life ahead of you and I dont want to sound rude but techniqually getting married at 19 you become a divorce statistic.

    You have alot of experiences ahead of you in Iraq and both of you probably have alot more just growing up to do, im 19 myself and wow if I was even thinking about getting married right now it'd just weird me out.

    Anyways, be kind and truthful about it, be honest that you're not sure it will last forever so you dont want to make that commitment. ( That's 100% honest because if your unsure you lie at the altar when you say "I do" assuming you do a ceremony ).

    Anyways peace out and good luck in Iraq !!
     
  6. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    you so made the right decision. continue to follow your heart.

    AND - thank you for doing what you do in our military.
     
  7. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    If you had doubts, then your decision was right. 19 is very young.
     
  8. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Absolutely! A lot can change especially with you being overseas. I think it is completely normal for a young man to want someone waiting at home for him but you made the right decision. Being married young and being in the military is NOT easy. My husband was military when we were first engaged and that was the toughest part of our relationship so far.
    If she loves you she will be there for you when you get home and you can go from there.
     
  9. armond

    armond New Member

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    Good call bro, if you have ANY doubts, it is not time...
     
  10. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    19 is WAY too young. I honestly wouldn't want to get married until AT LEAST after college.
     
  11. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    i agree. but you never know until you're put in that situation :hs:
     
  12. R KriLLz

    R KriLLz Uncomfortable in my own skin.

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    the guys in teh barracks would have chewed you out if you proposed.
    good call. why the rush?

    jody will come a knockin regardless if you are married. get through that first.
     
  13. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    " The plain and simple truth for why I did not is I honestly don't think I have dated enough,"

    This one sentence shows that you did the right thing. If you proposed it would have been an issue for you for the rest of your life (if you stayed together that is).

    Good job being honest!

    Beyond that, for most people 19 is way too young so I think it is much better not to rush things just because you are going away.
     
  14. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Last month you were saying that you get tired of every GF that you get, yet now you were considering marriage? Break up, do both of you the favor, play the field, get some relationship experience(that you yourself said you dont have) and then see what tickles your pickle.
     
  15. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    And then we wonder why the divorce rate is as high as it is....:hsugh:
     
  16. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I'm starting to get tired of this one too. The only reason marriage was a thing was because i'm leaving for Iraq, and that caused some issues.

    I am going to take everyone's advice and keep dating.

    I hate cheating and people who cheat, and I wouldn't trust myself staying with this girl, because the urge to have sex with other girls would be too much. After I live the single/dating life a little longer, or maybe just find the right one, that will change.
     
  17. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    let us know how it goes :noes:
     
  18. Eris

    Eris Yes please

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    I agree with a lot of what's been said. 19 is young. Hell I am 24 and marriage is still the furthest thing from my mind!!!! I was in a LTR from 16-22 and since I've been on my own I have grown and learned so much about myself.

    There is no doubt that the time you spend overseas will change you. If whatever it is you two share is really what's meant to be, it'll be regardless of what happens now.

    Also like others have said being young and married, especially since you are in the military, is hard. Most people I know who were in that situation have divorced while still overseas or upon returning home. Most 22-25 and have kids too.
     
  19. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

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    Definitely better to end things now, fair and square, than to end up cheating or something later on. It's good you recongize you're not ready for marriage yet. I couldn't imagine getting hitched at 19.
     
  20. low20

    low20 Member

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    dude, wait like 10 more yrs...who he feck wants to get married at 19? bsides ur not even gonna be here so why rush into getting married and then leaving and not seeing her. just wait it out....i cant even imagine marrying at 19
     
  21. Lindsay Loo

    Lindsay Loo ミ★ Mikel's POZ Partner ミ★

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    yeah no shit... from a female POV, it could fuck things up... but overall, you need to do what makes you happy... if you can recognize that youre not ready then youre not ready and shouldnt give in just to make someone else happy... wow. i guess i needed to hear that lol

    hahahahahaha yeah. she cried when he didnt propose, im sure she wont mind if he bangs some bitches LMAO
     
  22. jared_IRL

    jared_IRL OT Supporter

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    F'ing right.
     
  23. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Its certainly not immoral or "wrong" if you don't want to be with her and feel you want to move on and date or see what else is out there... its up to YOU and what you want, she might be hurt, but hopefully she will move on, do YOU... but you must be open with her, and be truthfull to her, don't lead her on either.
     
  24. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Good call. 19 is way too young in my opinion. Shit, so was 25 when I got married.
     
  25. mr_pollock

    mr_pollock New Member

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    you're 19

    Break Up With Her
     

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