SRS So, how the hell do you get over someone?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Hops, Aug 18, 2007.

  1. Hops

    Hops OT Supporter

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    My girlfriend left me about a month ago, we've been together since we were 16 (26 now), had our ups and downs, but always made it through. She's all i've ever known, ever loved, and all I think about. The thought of finding someone else just makes me sick, not to mention i'm not a very social person.

    As to why she left, it's a long story that I don't feel like going over at the moment. I just need to know how to get over this, I can't stop thinking about her and picturing someone else making her happy...she was, is, everything to me.
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Head down to the Vaginarium and read the stickies.....lots of good advice down there. Hell this post should prolly be moved down there.
     
  3. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    I had the same feelings when I lost my GF of 5 years, Get your self the book "Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway - Susan Jeffers" And read Chapter 8, Trust me on this one mate - even if you download an e-book version.
     
  4. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    I'm of the belief that you never actually get over it.

    You just get used to it and move on with your life.

    It sucks.
     
  5. mishka

    mishka Practically perfect in every way :)

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    i'm so glad you made this thread, i'm in the same situation, only shorter relationship. my ex bf is 25, i'm 20, we've been dating 1.5 years but have been together pretty much since i started college. it's been a month i'm utterly miserable, perhaps more so than ever.
     
  6. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    same
     
  7. jeepmanzj

    jeepmanzj Anyone But Obama OR Clinton 08, Jeep Crew, Car Cre

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    it's hard to do, but you have to convince yourself that there was/is nothing special about her.
     
  8. Got Me SOM

    Got Me SOM I'd win

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    Keep yourself very busy, pick up shifts a 2nd job or whatever. The key is not to have time to think about her.

    call up all your friends or make new ones and go out and hang out and go have a good time. get involved in a hobby or hobbies.

    DO NOT DRINK or do drugs either.

    Talking with a counselor or friends helps
     
  9. Hops

    Hops OT Supporter

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    I know the feeling, I have never felt so down in my life, and that is saying a lot. :hug:
     
  10. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

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    i just focus on all the negatives, and eventually that'll just turn me off completely from the girl b4 i just stop thinking about her. of course, this could also lead to a lot of anger problems, so i don't suggest this method per se, but i know it worked for me.
     
  11. Dysfnctnl85

    Dysfnctnl85 IT/Apple/Rotary/(D)SLR Crew

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    This leaves a bad taste in my mouth because I would never want to dwell on the negatives about a past relationship.

    I'm going through the same thing just like a few of you all in this thread. I want to remember the good things that happened and how I'm a better person because of my experiences with this girl...it does make it difficult when you think of having to meet someone new, but you know what? Every relationship is used as a measuring stick for the next.

    My absolute biggest fear is losing all feeling. As in, losing my ability to feel what I did in my relationship. I don't want to forget those feelings, so I write it all down as best I can...
     
  12. hellsing

    hellsing Member

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    Yeaaaa..word!! Work out like a mofo, fuck urself up by being reeeeeal busy so that by 9pm at night, all u can do is sleep
     
  13. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    :werd: Think of all the things you've always wanted to have time to do and finally do them. Join a gym, take a class, catch up with old friends, travel. This not only keeps you busy (gives you less time/brainpower to think about the past) but it also helps you develop new habit/routines that are just YOURS. It helps you remember that you're an individual with your own interests and friends. Spend time working on improving yourself and doing things that make you happy.

    It will get easier. :hug:
     
  14. KSNIPPY

    KSNIPPY As lost as i get i will find you

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    dude im almost in the same situation as you. over a month ago my gf of 3 and a half years broke up with me and she was/is all i know, loved, and thought about too. we were together since i was 16 as well, and i really thought that she was the one. her breaking up with me fucked me up really bad. seems like i can relate to what you have said in your original post.

    in all seriousness, listen to what all these people are saying, find anything you can to get her off your mind. i started hanging out with my old friends alot more and that has helped me the most. i know its extremely hard to let go, but you gotta do it, i can still admit that i dont want to let her go but i know i have to or ill just be miserable. things are already getting better for me and i know they will for you too man.:hug:
     
  15. Cicatrize

    Cicatrize $user_title

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    Honestly, I think it highly depends on why you broke up. Here are a few common scenarios:

    She cheated on you: This is actually one of the easiest things to get over, because she fucked up, and you're hurt by it. You'll have a tough time at first, but once you start hanging out with your friends again and start dating, your life will feel a little more normal again, and you'll realize how much of a bitch she is.

    You cheated on her: This is hard if you want to stay with her, and honestly, I don't know what to tell you if you did this, since I've never done it, but I do know that you're pretty much done at that point.

    Things just "weren't working out" for several reasons: This will take time. Again, you'll need people close to you to hang out with. Some of your best friends around you can be the ultimate cure. It's going to be really difficult, but stick it out, and time heals.

    Good luck, man.
     
  16. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Damn 10 years did you leave you from lack of commitment? Spending time with friends and staying busy is the best way, its not going to be easy to get back in the dating game you missed all those experiences of your late teens/early 20s
     
  17. Zeff

    Zeff OT Supporter

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    I'm getting over a 4 year relationship right now, just go have fun, do all sorts of guy things. Try and think of shit that you liked to do that she didn't approve of and do those things. Just try and get some of your single identity back. It will be hard because you were together for so long but I'm sure there were some things that she frowned upon that you can do now.
     
  18. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    The pain goes away, over time.

    Don't dwell on it, and focus on doing productive things.

    I've been hanging out with my ex since we "split". We're on better terms now than we were during the relationship. lol
     
  19. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    Let me guess.....she fell out of love, felt she has missed alot, and doesn't know who she is. I'm going down this same road right now. I'm five months in and still not over her even though I'd like to think I am. We were together for over seven years. Whatever you do, don't find someone else to use to get over her because the rebound relationships never work and the other person just ends up getting hurt. Stay busy, hang out with friends AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Don't become an alcoholic but still have fun. Find your passion and use this time to better yourself. You're probably going to think about her everyday but eventually it turns into everyother and eventually even less. Basically, it's just going to take time so make the best of that time.
     
  20. bobomb

    bobomb no torque, no care OT Supporter

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    Two routes, one is genuine, the other is more of a shortcut. Mix both for excellent results.

    A) Time
    B) Other Girls
     
  21. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    God damn, solid post.
     
  22. Outspoken_Hetero

    Outspoken_Hetero New Member

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    when she left you did the world stop turning
    when she packed up and left did time come to a halt
    when she decided that your lives were separate did you stop breathing

    the point is my friend life goes on, whether or not your with that person or not. life waits for no one and while your busy mourning the wreckage of your relationship time is quickly dwindling away.
    it hurts i know and the pain must be excruciating but you have to go on.
    With time you'll find someone new, someone else to fill the void left in your life your still young.
    Go out and enjoy your youth cause before you know it will all vanish and all you'll have left is the memories. So go out and make great ones cause when you look back they're the ones that will be the clearest in your mind.
     
  23. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    Booze, time and distance all work wonders...
     

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