SRS So how do you move on after 5 years?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by whitepearl, Mar 12, 2006.

  1. whitepearl

    whitepearl OT Supporter

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    My bf and I of 5 years just finally called it quites...

    I don't know how to move..i was with him since 15..everything that i know and ever done, includes him in it...

    i feel so broken right now
     
  2. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    It only comes in time unfortunately. I know this will sound clique' but this happened for a reason. I went through a really tough breakup with a guy and Ive realized what good has come out of that becuase we broke up. I woudnt be anywhere near as strong as I am today if it wasnt for that relationship, but it was the aftermath that did it not the actual relationship itself. Time heals alot of wounds, I did alot of self evaluation during that time.

    I know this will seem hard to hear or see but you need to have no contact with him at all for awhile if at all possible. If you do have to be in contact with him, make it limited you can be friends after you heal. Five years is a good bit of time as far as just a dating relationship agian its time.
     
  3. whitepearl

    whitepearl OT Supporter

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    everywhere i look, i see him...we were so close..but i know it was not meant to be..i just don't know how to move on...
     
  4. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    The sun will still rise tomorrow and you have another day to make it good for you. He wasnt the right one for a reason. If you dont already know why find out why he wasnt so that way you dont put your heart through the ringer agian.

    When you date someone you do end up being really close. You want to see him everywhere so you do. Not saying you should go out of your way to avoid him. Do something for you, if you arent in school try to find some way to scrap up some $$ and take a friend or your mom to a spa day for just a day of relaxation and a place to clear your head. Shopping makes me feel good, go buy a new outfit, it doesnt have to be gucci but walmart will suffice.
     
  5. whitepearl

    whitepearl OT Supporter

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    Hey

    im me on aqty4u2nv
     
  6. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    you do with time :)

    i "broke up" with an "ex" of mine a little over a year ago. he and i had been "together" for ~7.5 years. our relationship started out as a friendship, led to a friends with benefits, and then developed into a great relationship. half of our relationship was spent 1500 miles away from each other, but i don't believe it hindered our relationship in any way. sure, it was different from the norm, in that it wasn't official because we simply didn't agree on doing the long distance thing. we had many great times together and he stood by me during some really tough times in my life, but we ultimately took different forks in the road.

    the toughest part of all of it was the inevitable loss of my best friend. i just knew that things weren't [nor couldn't] be the same. we pretty much stopped conversing after cutting/resolving issues with a mutual cell phone plan.

    i'm a firm believer in that things in life happen for a reason. he met a girl shortly after we called it quits, and they're still in an awesome relationship. they love each other very much. :) i'm truly happy for him. he's a great guy, and deserves a great girl. we were just simply not meant to be together.

    my life is going well, too. i'm approaching my college graduation, and i have recently developed a deeper relationship with a friend that i've known for over ~4 years. he and i connect on so many levels, it's amazing. i couldn't be happier, and look forward to it developing further. ;)

    my friends are amazed that the breakup didn't affect me more than it did. :dunno: sure, i was sad about it all for a while, but the relationship taught me many things about myself and what i want in a future relationship... all of which i have now. things can only get better! :wiggle:

    use your breakup as a tool to look inside yourself and the relationship. you'll be amazed at what you can discover. believe me, you'll be okay. :) everything works out in the end!
     
  7. whitepearl

    whitepearl OT Supporter

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    Thank you, i needed to hear that

    Glad to see you are doing okay :)
     
  8. i broke up with my gf of 7 years 2 years ago. when i'm alone i think of her. it really helps to talk about it with someone.
     
  9. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    I hate to be blunt and somewhat rude, but contiune with your life as you have planned. EVERYTHING that you had planned that didnt include him in it contiune with. I personally took up a couple more hobbies that I was self-interested in when I got dumped. It helps passes the time plus you learn more about yourself. It's also you helping further your goals and makes you more confident later on.

    True right now I have no idea what your feeling but I did lose one after 9 months. Good speed.
     
  10. JointBeaker

    JointBeaker packaging engineer #2 OT Supporter

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    for what it's worth:

    when i broke up with my last girlfriend, i felt like everything that mattered to me, was gone. for a while i did nothing but sit in my dorm room, and think about her. i let the "break" ruin me completely. my personality changed to the point that my own friends didn't want to hang out with me. even tho that is one of the things i wanted most, i closed up inside.

    my little tip, i guess, would be to not sit around alone. even if you're "normally" comfortable being alone, surround yourself with friends. it really does help to keep your mind occupied on something else, just to give yourself a break.

    :hug:
     
  11. Felixx219

    Felixx219 New Member

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    I was in the same boat at your age. With the same girl fro 16 to 20. That is all I knew and all my adult life contained off. Put your focus on school and work and try to move foward in a positive way and it will eventually work out for the best. I am now married with a daughter and realize that everything worked out for the best.
     
  12. I'm a Slacker

    I'm a Slacker ASStastic

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    Only time will heal the wounds. Yes 5 yrs is a long time you have invested a lot of time and probably gave him your all. I am going to assume he broke up with you? On the bright side it may be better for this to happen now then later esp if the relationship wasn’t going in the direction you both wanted. There is so much out there and you are still young. But in order for you to completely move on, you will need closure. Closure meaning you need to understand why you two are no longer a couple. Without closure you will never be emotional ready for the next person who comes along. We all have gone through this and it will get better. :hug:
     
  13. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    The only answer is time :(
     

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