LGBT So...how do you KNOW if you're gay?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by SolidRanger, Dec 4, 2009.

  1. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2009
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    0
    OK this will be long folks, so you've been warned.

    I'm a 23 year old man, and I think I may be gay, but I am not confident that its true. When I was very young I was sort of a sissy. I played with girls and I read Babysitter's Club books and stuff like that. I can remember having interest in guys from about 12 or so. That's when I was introduced to tranny porn and then gay porn. I would spank it to gay porn occasionally, and tranny porn frequently. When I was 13 I had my first same sex experimentation when my 16 year old neighbor brought me over to his house and we jerked each other off. I didn't know how I felt about it at the time. It was his idea after all and I hadn't thought about.

    As far as girls growing up, things never went much of anywhere. When I was young I had crushes on girls and I would go on dates but I never knew what to do. After a while I just lost interest in pretty much all girls all together, never went on dates. Never even got laid all through high school. The thoughts about guys kept getting stronger over this time. In my little hick high school we had a gay boy transfer, and I was always really interested in him for some reason. I liked hearing him talk in the effeminate way he did, and stuff like that. Never talked to him though.

    When I was 18 and moved to the city I decided to experiment a little. I ended up meeting an effeminate gay man who I started sort of dating. He was the person I lost my virginity to, and I became very inamoured with him. It didn't go anywhere and didn't last long, but I felt like there was potential for love there.

    After that I stopped experimenting and concentrated on girls. Dated 2 for about 6 months each. Things went ok, I almost felt in love with one of them, but they both ended. During the course of these relationships I had trouble being sexually aroused with them. Like I had erectile disfunction or something (never had this problem with the guy I was seeing).

    After those relationships I decided to take a break from dating, try to figure things out and fix some things I saw as problems. During this time I started college and was surrounded by some amazingly beautiful women. But no matter how friendly or close I get with these girls, I just don't feel attracted to them as a person. I look at them and I'm taken back by how beautiful they are, but I don't feel the butterflies or anything. However, when I'm around gay men, I sort of get that feeling, even if I don't talk to them myself. But I look at them and I just think "but that's a guy, he's not pretty or anything".

    A few other things make me think I might be gay. Like when my friends and I go to the strip club, I feel NOTHING. I have never gotten an erection at a strip club, even in private dances. I go to clubs and I dance with girls, but I sort of just feel like I'm supposed to do it, and when I get drunk, I act stupidly affectionate of the guys around me. Or if its like a special bar night the bartender might be shirtless and when I'm drunk I just can't take my eyes off him, then I realize what I'm doing and I have to go outside and smoke and try to put it out of my mind.

    So now I find myself attracted to random men. Mostly only openly gay men, but every now and then a seemingly straight guy will get my attention. I still appreciate the beautiful of women, but its like the attraction isn't there, but I feel like I'm fooling myself. Like I'm trying to CONVINCE myself that I'm gay but I'm not. I also sort of feel that if I just accept that I'm gay and come out, then suddenly all these gay thoughts will go away, only after I had crushed my parents by saying I'm gay and possibly lost alot of my friends. Or that if I came out as gay that I would meet a woman who I actually had feelings for, just seems like it would be incredibly ackward to say I'm gay, then come to the realization that I'm really not.

    I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but I really want answers, I'm tired of living in uncertainty.
     
  2. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2009
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    0
    I guess alot of it comes from lack of experience. I mean at first it was just sexual experimentation, then it was unexpected romantic attraction. I really don't know how to date men. I mean how do you meet gay guys? Especially if you live in a conservative state with not much of a gay scene, in a city that while being the biggest in the state, is still pretty small. We have like one gay club here and it's not even a real gay club. It's more of a dance club that just happens to have alot of gay regulars and gay events, but still caters to everyone. The reason I bring this up is because my BROTHER and his girlfriend go to this dance club regularly. So if I go there and meet guys, my brother and/or his girlfriend will find out the hard way, and I feel hesitant to just say "hey I might be gay".

    Plus I have no gay friends or aquantances. All my friends are straight.
     
  3. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Messages:
    78,919
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    Western MA
    Do you watch straight porn, or just gay and tranny porn?

    When you're masturbating and coming, what makes you cum the hardest? What fantasies? What videos or pics make you the most aroused?

    Masturbation is the one time you cannot lie to yourself about what turns you on, sexually.
     
  4. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2009
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'd say I probably watch straight porn maybe 15% of the time I watch porn. Honestly, when I'm watching gay or tranny porn, I'm getting off on the fact that these are 2 men fucking each other. If I watch gay porn I love to see a bottom get pounded, but then I have fappers remorse. When I do watch straight porn, I usually only get off when a girl does anal.
     
  5. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2002
    Messages:
    15,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nowhere in particular
    Gay!

    Z

    :mamoru:
     
  6. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2005
    Messages:
    41,201
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Low Haight
    :rofl:
     
  7. DouggieJ

    DouggieJ OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    8,126
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York, NY USA
  8. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Messages:
    78,919
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    Western MA
    fappers remorse is just the shame you've been taught to feel.

    Once you get over the shame, you'll have your answer
     
  9. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    If your emotions and physical attractions lean towards the same sex...cahnces are you are gay. Human behaviour is so complex that you might be giving yourself the idea of maybe not being gay as a release pressure valve because the real thruth IS that you are indeed gay but feeling "I might not be gay" makes you feel secure and that you can have a chance to live a life that fits your surroundings...so you hide in that stage for months because that way you don't have to face the truth right now...

    Keep dating, whatever you like to date and it will hit you...

    Happened to me...

    The road after that gets really easy...
     
  10. stevenlk

    stevenlk New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2004
    Messages:
    141
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    land of oz, ks
    i understand what you mean, it can be hard being that im from a Red state and pretty conservative it's self, (mid-america Kansas) and being brought up in a small christian town. You dont have you go and put a label on it right away. Do your thing and whatever floats your boat. its hard but who cares you dont have live buy the rules. it's your life,

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
     
  11. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2009
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    0
    I guess when it comes down to fear of the unknown. I'm not active at all in the community. I would honestly like to just go to gay bars, meet guys, and gain some experience to see if this is what I really want, the only problem is really that TRYING could put me in the spotlight because as I said the main gay hangout in my town is a dance club that my brother and his girlfriend go to. Even if I just went out with a guy its likely I'll run into somebody I know or my family knows and then the questions start coming out, and frankly I don't want my family to know or suspect until I'm absolutely sure. I don't want to put them through hell only to find out I was wrong.

    I also only seem to like openly gay guys. I would say that 99% of the guys I meet or see on the street, I have no attraction to. But if I'm around a guy who is odviously gay, then I can find my self attracted to them, but only if I atleast suspect they are gay. Straight guys just do nothing for me.
     
  12. Orly_Yarly

    Orly_Yarly New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Messages:
    178
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St. Louis, MO
    SolidRanger, check your PM's...

    I didn't want to have to display allthatshitbyme.txt in here LOL
     
  13. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2002
    Messages:
    5,197
    Likes Received:
    0
    For me it's not so much that I'm not attracted to straight guys, but that I just never even give myself the opportunity to think of any of my straight friends in a sexual way. It's part of mantaining my friendships with all my guy friends by keeping my gayness out out our friendship, since guys like to have the established non-sexuality agreement amongst us. While with my female friends, it's just accepted that even though we are close friends, I'm still a guy (bi) and they're still hot, so while I'm not going to actively try to get in their pants, it's acknowledged that I would like to bang them.
     
  14. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2002
    Messages:
    5,197
    Likes Received:
    0
    But to give you a very simple answer so your question, if a naked guy gives you a boner, then yes, you're gay to some degree.

    I always browsed this old porn forum for real niche kinky categories, but there was a subforum just for general discussion of sexuality, practically every post in there was "OMG AM I GAY?". It's amazing how deeply in denial some people are, insisting that they're not gay when they're having sex with guys as long as it's not a regular thing. These guys need to grow up. Big fucking deal, you're attracted to guys, just admit itto yourself and quit worrying about it.
     
  15. 007

    007 Riden, sliden, whipin and dippin, my chrome strips

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    1,653
    Likes Received:
    0
    Maybe you should try trannies?
     

Share This Page