so frustrated

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by low20, Jan 2, 2006.

  1. low20

    low20 Member

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    i just need to let this out...ive been with my gf for a little over a year now...i love her to death and cant think of anyone id rather be with. shes done with school and works, i still have a year left of university. she works usually 9-10 hr days and never has 2 days off in a row. 1/2 of those days she has to wake up pretty early 6am-ish which is tough for her cuz she loves her sleep. sooo when she gets home, she is understndable tired. latley though, it seems like all i ever hear about is how tired she is. ill go hang out with her and we will just watch tv and then she will fall asleep at like 10:30 and thats it...it gets boring after a while.

    naturally, as a guy in his prime, i like some action. i consider myself more sexual ofa person than she is, though when we first started going out, it seems to me like the opposite...the old bait and switch lol..anyway, we decided to have sex about 3-4 months into the relationship, first time for both of us actually, since we had both waited. since then we really dont have sex a lot. probably on average, less than 1x a week, tough sometimes it will be 2x, usually one time is sex and another is oral or other stuff, which is fine by me.

    latley though, it sems as if shes not interrested at all...she will never initiate anything, and it seems like i always need to work for it...it is never just something that we can work up to (i.e. if were out for the day together and i suggest something pysical and then we both cant wait to get home to do it) its never like that. its always something that i need to do this and that and then maybe i will get some. it gets aggrivating after a while.

    so i said soemthing to her tonight, cuz its been especially bad the past few weeks and been driving me nuts. she said that i knew from the beginning that we wouldnt have sex a lot b/c its stressfull for her, ech month worrying about whether she will get her period or not (we use condoms every single time and take no chances). I know i cant fuly unerstand that cuz im not a girl, but i dont wanna be a dad either, and the way i look at it is we are being responsible about it by using condoms and using them correctly, we should have nothing to worry about. i even pull out everytime to be even more safe. so then i say, well thats fine, if you feel that way, then i dont want you to be unconfortable, but that doesnt mean we cant do other stuff too, like oral etc, and that doesnt mean she cant initiate anything.

    well, she got all pissed at me, obviously she thinks sex is all i care about which is completley untrue, im just obviously more sexual, and also in my prime, and shes my first girl so i wanna expiereince sex, and a lot. im not saying everyday, but 3x a week or even 2x would be nice. it seems as if evryones getting laid like every other day around here and i feel like im totally missing out, but at the same time, i wont leave her b/c of it cuz i care about her and she means a lot to me, and sometimes things are better, but we have a lotts of "off" months that we seem so uncompatible sexually.

    so my real question here is, what can i do for her, to help her out? what can i do so that she is not so terribly tired everyday, and so worn out, that she cant put effort into this? i know she works a lot, and is on her feet and gets no breaks for food or anything, so its rough on her...i just want to help her be less beat at the end of the day. i help her out a ton at her house and with her pet and eveyrthing else, i do so much to help her out, so i dont kow what else to do. she just needs more energy....any suggestions? sorry this is long, i just needed to vent...thanks
    btw: were 22 so no immature HS remarks

    cliffs: just read it i cant summarize it and still get effective answers.
     
  2. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    Maybe if you want to be a prime guy, you'd learn how to spell. If you were a bit more articulate, maybe she wouldn't fall asleep by the time you explained it all.
     
  3. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    wow... pretty interesting...

    you seem to have spoken your case very well. i'm not sure what else you can do. your significant other should want to please you in every way possible, within reason. a healthy relationship is about compromising... :)

    i don't see why days off are out of the option? :dunno: :hs:

    don't nag about the issue, and see if she comes around. oh, and about the helping out part? do everything you mentioned and that would be :bigthumb: ;)
     
  4. low20

    low20 Member

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    wtf, thanks for the useful information, what exactly is spelled wrong...look now u have 810 posts...a few more useless comments tonight and you might make it to 850...

    and C&B, ur right, its all about give and take, and we both do comprimise...i guess on her days off she sleeps in late, then has alot of things to do since she cant get it done any other time during the week, and then she wants to get to bed early cuz the next day she will have to wake up early again, so trying to time it isnt so easy especially when i have my own schedule...weve talked about it before and things changed for a little while so we will see what happens this time..i wish it didnt have to be talked about tho, im not asking for the world, just alittle extra effort i guess...i feel like i give so much and try to help out a lot and dont always see anything in return, im not helping out to get stuff in return, but u knw what im saying..its frustrating
     
  5. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :sad2: just outta curiosity... what does she do? :o... i mean, i work a lot and go to school, but i love to get my sex. it's a stress reliever, imo... ;)

    oh, and oral = :bigthumb:... if the person's good at it (this can be taught ;)), it satisfies me :)
     
  6. low20

    low20 Member

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    well id rather not say just b/c i want tp remain as anon. as possible, but to give an update, things have still not gotten better..since i brrouht it up and we talked about it..nothing at all has happened...its been over a week since weve done anything and there has been plenty or oppourtunities. i dont know what it is...i donno if she has like a week or 2 in her cycle that she is just not horny at all or something, but if she does, this is it. yeah people can say just jerk off but its not the same, im not in it just to get my rocks off i enjoy the experience i have WITH her. anyway, itll prolly be a few more days b/c the rest of her week is prtty much busy and alone time will not exist. ive pretty much vowed to myself not to make any moves on her...the thing is, its so tough cuz she will be there in a t-shirt, no bra, nippin out and looking so freakin hot, i cant do anything but think about it, and its almost impossible not to act on it. lol wow this sucks and is stupid...anyway, im rying my hardest not to well on it, but for the guys out there, u know how hard that is....ahhh wtf??????

    oh and believe me, she loves oral, when i give it to her she goes 100% nuts. more thani ever see her...im trying to figure out who wouldnt want that every day of the week? i sure would..i dont understand women
     
  7. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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  8. low20

    low20 Member

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    yeah so we finally got to have a civilized talk about it today since it was eating me up...not the no ass part, just the fact that i felt wierd about the whole thing and unsettled...so anyway, we kinda cleared things up i guess and we had lunch, then went to her place, did some stuff, ended up making out hardcore which we hadnt done for so long...once u have a relationship for a long time, u lose certain things and that was one of them...after making out for a while she suggested goin into her room...i pulled hr pants down, ate her out for a few minutes, she got so crazy she pushed me to the ground, ripped my pants off and the rest is history...needless to say, one of our best expieriences yet, and sex wasnt involved. it was great...anyway, after that we had dinner with a bunch of friends, hung out and she fell aslep in my arms at her house and then i went home....things seem different now for some reason. since the talk a few days ago, shes been making more of an effort, just in different ways...she will grab my hand a lot more and kiss me a lot more meaningfully etc...its nice...i think the biggest thing was that when we started havig sex, since we were both virgins, she didnt want the relationship to revolve around sex or for it to become a priority...shes also worried about pregnancy, but we dont have sex that often so condoms are easier than a pill everyday. well spilled my heart out...hopefully thigns will stay cool for a while
     
  9. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :cool: i'm so happy for ya... hopefully this is the start of something good :)
     
  10. low20

    low20 Member

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    hopefully, i still dont get the female thinking tho....she said she didnt wanna havwe sex a lot b/c of pregnancy, tho when we were fooling aroun yesterday she asked if i had anything with me, meaning a condom..im like, no, and shes like, why? i just said i donno, lol...im thinking to myself...why would i have it if i wasnt expecting to get any and she would be mad if she knew beforehand....whatever...ill just have to have a spare on hand for those occasions...
     
  11. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Why isn't she using something besides a condom for birth control? It might ease her tensions with sex a lot.
     

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