SRS So frustrated!!

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by PuertoWreckin, May 4, 2005.

  1. PuertoWreckin

    PuertoWreckin I will cut you.

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    Me and my girl are constantly fighting over things which i think are insignificant. I hate that shit already. When she gets mad over something little she holds this grudge all day, eventually it snowballs into a huge fight......then we break up, and get back together in a day or 2. We been together for 8 months and this must have happened about 10 times...Its so emotionally draining. About 2 months ago I decided not to continue the relationship after a fight..It was hard but I had to do it. What ensued was so heartbreaking...She basically broke down and cried like I never seen anyone sob. Almost to a point where she coudnlt breathe and I was about to call an ambulance for her safetly..A few days later she said the last time she cried like that when we father died.
    Seeing her cry like that made me feel so horrible because I love this girl sooo much that I wouldnt wanna do anything to hurt her like that again...So we got back together... I dont know what to because I care about her so much, when we are not fighting its all magical, we laugh joke around and just act silly and hangout like we are best friends.
    But when we argue she is a totally different person. She says things I would NEVER say to her...and its so heartbreaking. Right now we are in the middle of one of those "break ups" and I dont know what to do..

    I know she really loves me and I love her but I cant continue this emotionally draining cycle. I dont want to hurt her because I care about her so much. And I really want things to work out...

    I just dont know what to do anymore :wtc:
     
  2. Snoofle

    Snoofle Guest

    me and my boyfriend used to have that same cycle. it is draining..the only advice ill give u from personal experience is go on a break for a while, it really puts things in perspective, i know its hard to do, but you will be thankful u did it..my bf would break up with me too, i would also break down and cry like hell but in the end, he made the choice to put us on a break and stick with it and things did get better..remember things wont just get better on their own. u have to make a change somewhere.
     
  3. PuertoWreckin

    PuertoWreckin I will cut you.

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    What exactly is a break? How does that work. To be honest this is my first serious relationship. (im 21)
     
  4. Snoofle

    Snoofle Guest

    we considered a break where we each did our own thing, didnt really talk to eachother as often but still kept respect for eachother in the sense that we wouldnt date other ppl..other people have different definitions of a break though
     
  5. PuertoWreckin

    PuertoWreckin I will cut you.

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    How long was that break for.
     
  6. Snoofle

    Snoofle Guest

    our break was for the summer
     
  7. PuertoWreckin

    PuertoWreckin I will cut you.

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    Wow thats kinda a long time dont you think...Did you agree before the break that you will get back together or did it just happen.
     
  8. Snoofle

    Snoofle Guest

    well it lasted one n a half to 2 months. and no we didnt really agree..we just let it take its course. we said that maybe we would get back together which would be nice or maybe not, we'd see where it would go..in the end, we ended up back together. and i know from alot of friends that have done it..nearly all relationship get back together..unless one person really really wanted their freedom
     
  9. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Tell her how much she hurts you when she says those nasty things. Tell her that each time she bottles things up inside she's making everything worse for you AND her. Tell her that disagreements should be discussed rationally (where possible) and not fought over. Let her know that every time you fight, your desire to keep the relationship going decreases because the fights are so draining, and that eventually you'll have nothing left to give.

    If she's saying things that are abusive, then she needs to get help. You might want to try couples counselling as a way to open up communication between you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, but you stand to lose your relationship if you do nothing.
     
  10. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Do you know about the ripple effect?

    When you put darkness into someone elses life, it sends out a domino effect that like throwing a stone into a pond will send out all its negativity and effecting everything and everyone within that pond. Simular when giving love and helping someone out, the pond will light up with love and light.

    You two have been doing nothing then putting darkness and misery into eachothers life, with the end result a state of hell for the both of you.

    If this is to change, both of you must be able to live and let live eachother in love and light. And a real relationship involves giving eachother space within boundries. To be with eachother, and still giving eachother space.

    Mocking over little things isn't worth a relationship. If you only live in dismay it would be better for both of you to part from eachother. She might be crying now, and you might feel miserable too. But if both of you don't come to an agreement never to disagree with eachother again, then forget it. If you can't agree with eachother then i think you made the best decision. Althought that gives pain, both of you will be better of in the long run.
     

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