so at the risk of sounding like a complete and utter loser...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by bait, Aug 29, 2008.

  1. bait

    bait New Member

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    I'm years behind on my game. I'm recently out of almost 4 straight years of serious relationships (two different girls). So, the last time I was concerned with picking up a girl, I was in highschool and you tended to see them every day and all the bullshit kiddie drama just fostered crushes and shit went from there.

    Now, I'm a junior in college, and I haven't the slightest clue on the basics of picking up girls. I'm not socially inept by any means, I'm a likable guy who likes to go out and make friends - im comfortable and confident. I'm talking step one shit here, nothing after that.

    Basically what I'm asking is - I can't fathom that walking up to random girls that you've never met and aren't friends with any of your friends or anything at a random frat dance party and saying hey whats your name lets go dance could actually work... does it? Is that the norm? Is that a tactic reserved for dudes who really don't give a fuck? I don't get it. I'm starting from almost square one since I've broken up with my gf as far as girls go, and I need to know how to get started. I just walk around looking for some sort of invitation like a fucking tool, and it's clearly not working.
     
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Despite the whole "cold approach" business that the Seduction community likes to tout, it's not your most successful route to picking up girls. The cold approach route is just a means of hardening you to the fear of rejection by making you fall on your face so many times that rejection doesn't affect you anymore.

    The best and easiest way I have found to pick up girls, is to get involved in activities where I can be around and meet girls doing something I love to do.

    What are your interests? Get involved in things where you are put along side-by-side with girls and then go from there.
     
  3. Timer

    Timer Guest

    Cold approaching can work, but I wouldn't do "Hi, how are you?" Try an off-direct remark, something that talks about the situation around you or an interest she may have.

    Seriously, approaching and even saying "by any chance do you snowboard?" is a good conversation opener. It talks about something exciting, she may do it, you can say "oh, you looked like someone who may do fun stuff, I guess not <smile>" (a push-pull neg, excuse the PUA shit). At that point, if she's interested, she'll continue the conversation.
     
  4. metakone

    metakone New Member

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    You're in college - Go out and meet people ! Join clubs, do activities, hang out with friends of friends. You'll meet plenty of girls through these avenues and it'll be much easier talking to them in these situations that in a night-club/bar environment. Having said that you can do cold approaches at a night-club and be successful, its harder but doable.
     
  5. Timer

    Timer Guest

    Realize one thing. If you do an activity, you'll STILL need to cold approach someone. In a bar they have their guards up, that is the only difference.
     
  6. pdawg23

    pdawg23 New Member

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    okay, if u feel like u should take baby steps first, then try joining activities and stuff (even in small classrooms) try talking to girls. I don't think u should ask them stuff like "do you snowboard?" in a classroom, although I think it's a great opener for a frat party or a club even..
    In a classroom, just start talking to any girl about the weather, traffic, current events, the professor, the class, etc. Something that u guys can agree upon. (professor is a dick, commuting to school is a biatch cause of traffic, etc). I really don't think u will have a hard time trying to talk about these stuff unless u're a loser.. These types of talk are harmless and don't show any kinda intention that u wanna pick her up so it will be very easy on u.
    I don't think trying to pick up girls at frat parties and clubs is a good idea for u because it would be brutal unless u're good and know what u're doing
     
  7. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    You go to Louisville? UK > Louisville. :cool:


    Ok, kidding. I don't have any affiliations with either, but I had a roommate who went to UK and UK girls are :bowdown:.

    Do you go to house parties? Frat parties? Louisville has a pretty good nightlife, man. Go out. Have fun. Talk to girls. Ask your buddies to hook you up. I am sure they will be more than happy to re-release you out into the wild. Have a drink or six, dance with chicks, hook up. Rinse, repeat. It's as easy as it sounds; you just gotta get over your fears, man.
     
  8. Timer

    Timer Guest

    dot. Cold approach = bullshit. it's a napproach, and neither of you know each other. REMEMBER A CHICK IS MORE NERVOUS TALKING TO A GUY SHE IS INTERESTED IN THAN YOU ARE
     
  9. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    my bosses hot daughter is starting at UK
     
  10. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    Pics? :x:
     
  11. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  12. bait

    bait New Member

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    I've spent a ton of time at UK. The ex is actually at UK, and it complicates things a bit because alot of the friends i've made in the last couple of years have been there, and now it's definitely not an every weekend deal like it used to be. FWIW, I like UK better. Granted, louisville has a solid nightlife, but really only if you're over 21, which I'm not. I've got about 8 months left, and then things get interesting.
     
  13. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    :bowdown: Well said.

    Don't use age as an excuse. :nono: I went to a really small college and I used to crash every keg and every party when I was a freshman. This was at a really small college where everyone knew everyone and all the underclassmen used age as an excuse when they wanted to stay in. At a larger school, that problem isn't there, because most people don't know you, so they don't know if you are underage or not. Also, I'm sure you got older friends; they can get you in. Get somebody else's ID if you are going barhopping. I used to go clubbing in NYC or Boston with this other kid's ID.

    Man, some of the UK chicks - well, alums - in NYC are smoking hot, no lie. I wish I knew some Louisville chicks too.
     
  14. bait

    bait New Member

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    Meh its not an excuse, just most of the stuff to do here are actual bars, its a commuter school so there's not a shitton of house parties right off campus. I've been trying to find a fake for months, but I'm a sort of unique looking dude. It's not like I'm a hermit though - I'm throwing a kegger tonight :big grin:
     
  15. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    first off, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Sometimes its just not he right girl, at the right time. So its not a relection on yourself at all when you start chatting and shes not interested. Thats fine. move on politely and with self confidence and no one will think less of you.

    Girls LOVE guys. Girls are want guys MORE then we want girls. They want the attention. They WANT to be hit on by fun confident guys. Yet again, some girls are in relationships, some are just in a bad mood at any particular instant, some won't like your shoes... and thats fine. just move on to another who's single, in a good mood, and digs what you bring to the table.

    Your goal should be to approach attractive girls and have fun interacting with them. Just keep on doing it until you can see a girl, approach her, and get past the nervous part until you are just chatting and having fun. Do that and then get back to us for the next step if you need more help about what to do then. remember, at any party there are PLENTY of girls DYING to get approached by guys who are fun, confident, cool.

    one hint: avoid dragging out the obvious whats your major, etc etc etc interview bullshit. talk about current events (did you hear about the kids that filled some guys room to the roof with solo cups the other day? OR maybe find out a teacher you guys have both had and get the connection thing going "I knoooow. Professor so and so is always doing that! hes so crazy!), tell stories (that make you look good while not putting anyone down)

    you get the point. "whats your name? whats your major? how old are you?" = suck.

    last weekend my friends and in were heading to this awesome concert and the car broke down and we had to hitchhike with some crazy guy. but it was so worth it because i just love the band. what kind of music are you into? = good.


    there is nothing wrong with your method, but you yet again are trying to claim that your limited experience is the result of the laws of the universe. There are plenty of guys who can walk into a party or club, see a girl, walk up and have a number in your phone and a date setup within an hour or two. When you can do that, its a lot more efficient then your beginner method.

    and before anyone says it, quality women like to have fun too, and I would never be caught dead dating a girl who didn't enjoy a social night life.
     
  16. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    why do people always say that? girls have their guard so far down in bars.

    Am I the only one who gets the guards WAAAAY up in the grocery store or the mall, and waaaaay down in the bar?

    If I approach a girl at the mall shes all :ugh: wtf do you want from me?

    But when I walk up at a bar its all "haaaaaaay its a cute guy talking to :boink:me"
     
  17. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :hsughno:

    Whatever works for whatever you feel most comfortable with.
     
  18. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    I've seen both. If they are drunk, their guards are almost always down (depends on how drunk they are; one drink isn't gonna lower anyone's guards).

    Girls get hit on by "creeps" a lot more in clubs/bars than in a grocery store or the supermarket. They think every guy that's trying to talk to them wants to get in their pants. They kinda expect it.

    At the mall or wherever else, they don't expect it the whole time they are there. Yeah, hot girls get hit on wherever they go, but not with the frequency or lewdness like they do in clubs/bars/parties.

    Having said that, both are fun. I am all for both (clubs and the mall/coffee shop/supermarket).


    Edit: Loved your last post. Solid posts through and through.
     
  19. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  20. NuShooz

    NuShooz OT Supporter

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    join hiking clubs, softball clubs, poem clubs...should be tons of those on campus or in your local neighborhood...it makes it easier to talk to girls if you have some common ground to start off with. Plus the majority of the time, you'll find quality girls than compared with random sluts at a club/bar
     

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