MMA so after the bj penn fight i was driving and

Discussion in 'OT Bar' started by The Ripper, Dec 13, 2009.

  1. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    I got pulled over. As some of you know I live on a millitary base with my wife. My wife incists on driving fast every where the fuck she goes for no god damned reason. Thus attracking a lot of attention to her blazing fast chevy cobalt .... :hsugh:.

    So last night I was driving and I drove by one of the security forces (millitary police) dudes and he saw the car and got excited. So he starts following me and I drive normal unlike my wife. So hes following me for a good 5 mins and then hits the lights and pulls me over. Guy insists on being a dick assuming Im speed racer.

    Guy: licence and registration
    Me: here
    Guy: Ok richardo (my name is ricardo) Ive seen you driving around base really fast. So I decided to stop you and give you a warning. Have you been doing any drinking or partying Richardo (at this point being a dick)

    So I responded in the best way I knew how.

    Me: My name is Ricky and I love to party!
    Guy: Can you step out of the vehicle.
     
  2. Sammo

    Sammo New Member

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    continue the story
     
  3. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    thats pretty much it i was given a field sobriety test and went home attempted to sex wife and failed
     
  4. Sammo

    Sammo New Member

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    pics of the wife?
     
  5. TQ

    TQ OT Supporter

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    Nice :rofl:
     
  6. adrenalin112

    adrenalin112 New Member

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    who needs pics when we've already seen a degrading video of that prime piece of ass getting armbarred?
     
  7. Kuet

    Kuet New Member

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    Richardo, is the vid you posted with the girl giving you brain your wife?!
     
  8. El Rudo

    El Rudo The Borinqueneers

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    damn
     
  9. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]
     
  10. iCEgECKO

    iCEgECKO Ballin' at 5'2''

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    in for vid
     
  11. edward_cullen

    edward_cullen Unemployed Since 08

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    Details on attempt at sex.

    Do you just lay in bed and caress her legs, and slowly inch your hands towards her hoo-hoo for finger action to start the festivities?

    For me that's usually how it goes, red light is obviously she pushes my hand away and tell me she's tired or whatever, and green light is she just lets me. Although there have been a few times which she pushes my hand away away, but I still continue on, rather aggressively, then I turn her around onto her tummy and put my weight on her and use my legs to spread hers, and I rub the outside of her panties for a few minutes to get her wet, then I go in for the clitoris massage. She is resisting the entire time I am doing this which even gets me more turned on, it's almost like a rape role play because I know she enjoys it too.
     
  12. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    I know I've picked on you a lot for your teeth and fencing mask, but your stories are > * :bowdown::rofl:
     
  13. Kuet

    Kuet New Member

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    Shut up. You passed her out with your bite, and then took advantage. All your life you been getting red lights. Thats why you became one of.....them.

























    FAGGOT
     
  14. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    it depends on what mood im in i might try to pull that shit if we are in bed and I really want it but Im a general ass hole this time I whipped out my cock and said "are you ready to rock" some times she says yes some times she says no but its always worth a shot
     
  15. saabguy

    saabguy Active Member

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    God I love Ripper threads :bowrofl:
     
  16. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    I used to do stand up comedy before I got married and before the economy got ruff. You guys have no of half of the hillarity that goes on. We are kind of broke right now after buying all of this house shit like furniture so my wife came up with the idea of making presents or putting thought into it bull shit so I am making a super fucked up x mas song
     
  17. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    Twaz the night before chrismas and all through the house rickys cock was vibrating and ready for cynthias mouth. He lurked in the shaddows he walked in the dark ready to find where his dick would soon park. Cynthia as always was not in the mood but this wouldnt stop our pervy young dude. He begged and he pleaded and his wife knew what he needed. She said she was on her period and sent him on his way but ricky couldnt wait for some other day. He needed it now he needed it soon he needed it way before the set of the moon.
    Ricky tried again with new tactics and skills. He failed at the foreplay it didnt give his women the chills. FInally she gave in to his sexual request. Now was the time for ricky to do what he did best. He laid down the towells and put plastic under the sheet. Little did he know he was heading toward defeat. He fucked and he sucked and went and he came. He pulled out his pecker and yelled good grieff. When he pulled out all the blood made his dick look like roast beef.
     
  18. Zoolander

    Zoolander OT Supporter

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    Yikes.
     
  19. checkii

    checkii ฝรั่งตาน้ำข้าว

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    glasses :h5:
     
  20. miek

    miek New Member

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    do you mind if i borrow your move to use on my gf? :x::rofl:
     
  21. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    :rofl::rofl:
     
  22. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    go for it, some times I like to rhyme and say, "this is my cock are you ready to rock"
     
  23. EG6

    EG6 OT Supporter

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    chicks with glasses ftw
     
  24. saabguy

    saabguy Active Member

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    true-story...when i first started reading/posting in the cage, i thought The Ripper WAS matt hughes. he posted something from hughes' blog and didn't post a link or put it in quotes or anything, so it read like it was matt hughes talking about some UFC event. then i started reading more posts and thought, "wow, matt hughes is kind of dumb...:ugh2: "

    :rofl:
     
  25. rtzcom

    rtzcom bon wons! fight slepa for life sone!~

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    I still give you props for marrying prime piece of ass girl...you sir are truly astute
     

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