SRS So, a friend of mine is an alcoholic

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by edrox, Dec 5, 2005.

  1. edrox

    edrox A good man, and thorough

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    And I am not sure how to deal with him. I have known about his problem for close to two years. He finally admitted his problem and decided to get help about a year ago. He attends AA meetings off and on. He goes to a counselor (again, off and on).

    I have been supportive and told him that I am willing ot help in any way I can. One thing that bothered him was feeling like everyone was constantly questioning whether he was drunk or not. So, in deference to that, I refrain from asking anything about the problem. Once in a great while I will ask how he is doing with it, and he says he is doing great. Other than that, I just continue to be his friend and support him however I can.

    But here is the thing. He tells me, his wife, and pretty much everyone that it has been several months since his last drink. A mutual friend of ours ran into him at a convenience store at 6:00 am one day about a week ago, and he was there buying a pint of vodka and a bottle of orange juice. There have been times when we speak on the phone, and it is fairly obviious he is drinking.

    I don't know whether it does more harm than good to confront him with this. I don't want to add to the problems, but I also dont want to enable him by looking the other way. Right now, I think that he feels he is getting away with sneaking drinks and lying about it. I want to confront him becuase one thing I cannot tolerate is being lied to. I will help a guy to the ends of the earth, no matter what the problem, but you have to be straight with me.

    So - that's the story. Any replies are appreciated
     
  2. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Tell him you want him to stop lying to you. If he's drinking and he cannot stop, then he should be honest about it, and seek further help. Let him know that the basis of friendship is trust and honesty, and without that you cannot be friends with him.
     

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