Slowly getting back into pick-up.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Another weird post from yours truly :o

    I went out with Emily, my lover, last night... she has been talking about not knowing how to pick up a person of the same sex for a while. Wellll lo and behold she made out with the most attractive girl at this club we went to. I almost died. :wackit:

    In contrast, earlier in the night, I had gotten on line for what turned out to be a jazz show solely because of the pretty girl in front of me.

    Once I was on line I realized she was actually extremely beautiful, not pretty. I couldn't get myself to look at her face more than X seconds in a row or even speak right. Even after she joined the conversation it was very hard to get words out of my mouth. Bright headlights.

    In my current mental state, I would have acted the same way around Emily if I had run into her!

    I can't believe how out of practice I am.

    Going out again tonight, doing more approaches, building resistance back up. That's where I'm at right now.
     
  2. Reign

    Reign Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Messages:
    21,304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Westminster, CO
    Pfffft, practice. That's for pansies that haven't discovered the magic of chloroform
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    I'm still working up the courage to kidnap my first girl.
     
  4. Reign

    Reign Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Messages:
    21,304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Westminster, CO
    Start at elementry schools and work your way up. Everyone's gotta start somewhere.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    went out and hit on a couple girls though, last night. one had an incredibly passive boyfriend (made friends with him later, no hard feelings).

    the other girl had an incredibly aggressive NON-boyfriend who took it as his obligation to Protect Her Honor. avoided a physical conflict.
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    :werd:

    Easier to get chloroform than consent.
     
  7. Reign

    Reign Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Messages:
    21,304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Westminster, CO
    On a more serious note, congrats on your success. The best thing to do in the second scenario you had there is to continue to hit on said woman and continue to piss off her NOT boyfriend. She'll in turn, usually, get pissed at him and not want to spend time with him any more that night. Or... he'll take a swing at you, get thrown out for being a drunk ass, and she'll feel bad because her idiot friend took a swing at you.
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    crazy how out of practice you (and I) get....
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    You are right socially. I come out the cooler. However, I am not sure my social priority takes precedent over my physical safety. At the very least I want to take some m.a. before allowing situations like that to escalate.
     
  10. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    if you continue to hit on her in an openly aggressive manner you are going to look like an ass. she will know you are provoking the friend. if you want this to work, you have to provoke the friend on the sly so it looks like he is the one causing trouble for no reason.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    well... no. it depends on your priorities.

    for example, tyler durden would just work on blowing the guy out, ignoring him, etc.

    but tyler doesn't mind risking a fight. rough upbringing.

    angry, inner city public school kids are the ones i avoided growing up. old habits die hard i guess.

    people who don't mind getting in fights always tell me the same thing. 99.9% of the time the guy just wants his show to work. i'm not one of those stick-around people so i can't confirm this personally.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    hey question antihero do you remember a name for an extra article of clothing that adds a little sth sth to your ensemble?

    not "bling," not "decoration," sth else. i am forgetting this one word.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    lol. get the feeling im really walking into something here...

    I believe you are refering to flare. you don't want to have just the bare minimum either. If there is a pua term for peacocking gear or whatnot, i don't know it.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2009
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    The title "wife" supersedes "lover."

    "Lover" was cool while you guys were dating, but now you're married. She's your "wife." She's not your lover, fiance, gf, partner, associate, comrad, or anything else. She's your wife.

    :big grin:
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    37 pieces of flair

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Supersedes?

    Both terms apply so the choice is mine.

    It is a question of communication.

    People get impression A when I tell them she is my lover.

    They get impression B when I tell them she is my wife.

    Impression A is closer to reality.

    That is all there is to it.

    I let them know about our marital status once they've gotten more familiar with the situation.
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    flare, thanks a lot. i was letting that annoy me
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Flair.

    Flare involves fire, light, or heat :big grin:
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    IMO, "lover" implies she's not your wife (...because if she was your wife, you would've called her your "wife"). Like if I met a guy and he's like "this is my lover" or "my lover blah blah blah" I would assume they're not married, or at least not married to each other :rofl:

    Honestly I don't care, I'm just giving you a hard time :p
     
  20. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Flare is in fact the word I was looking for, though. I like the metaphor. A flash of light briefly erupting.

    Flair is the word Emily suggested. We are writers. Flair's definition correctly fits the meaning I had in mind. Clearly.

    Still, yeah, it was flare.

    Man, I always get sucked into hyper-logical mode with you. :o
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Unfortunately, she is extremely attractive, so she could just as easily play what some PUA's call "just show up game."

    Just show up game is very simple. You're extremely attractive. So in order to get laid... you just show up. GET IT????? :p Lame, I know.

    But she also has a very strong personality so I'll tell you what she did. (She was drunk and can't remember as well, plus I was avidly spectating.)

    Emily: "Hi!!!" pretty, happy, warm smile
    Girl: "...hi :)"
    Emily: "We were heading out. This is... it's a little weird. It's a little weird but... I just want to say I think I am *really* attracted to you."
    Girl: laughs excitedly, nervously. Can't hear girl's verbal response from where I'm standing but it looks very positive.
    Emily: "Now I've made you embarrassed..."
    Girl: "Well, yeah, I am a *little* embarrassed..."
    Lots of eye contact. More flirtatious conversation then eventually Emily just went in and kissed her. That's about it. If I had been in a clearer state of mind (and even if the thought had occurred to me, if I was subsequently ballsy enough to act), I would have aimed for a pull back to our place...
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    I'm aware. That is fine with me. My goal is not to be 100% understood in every second, I am comfortable being initially misunderstood for the sake of being better understood later.

    Another variant - more common - is, "This is Emily, I'm in love with her." Saying that variant also runs the risk of people assuming we are not married. Same deal.

    There are some people I run into, though, who assume nothing.

    Then I know I've met a kindred spirit :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2009
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    omfg the girl Emily picked up was so hot too. :uh: If I wasn't looking at Emily when I was in that bar then my attention was on that girl. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
     
  24. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    what are you guys writing? a book? i'd read it. you're smart and i presume therefore that Emily is smart, too.

    great minds think alike.
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    now this is interesing to me. sorry this might get a little off topic here.

    i think i would not be comfortable adopting that mindset because i would think that if someone misunderstood me, they would then assume that i was an idiot because what they thought i said was incorrect, and therefore wouldnt want to bother sticking around for clarification because who wants to continue talking with an idiot?

    thats my insecurity, tho :hs: i fear giving too little necessary information. i think it's because talking with most people for the sake of extracting information drives me nuts. most people cannot explain shit (online and IRL) and requires too many followup questions from me that i shouldnt have had to ask. so when *i* a giving the information, i overcompensate to prevent the other person from feeling the same annoyed feeling from not getting a thourough explanation that i experience when i am on the recieving end of information.



    the irony is you say i am too logical sometimes, yet that example can only occur if the person with whom you're talking is *extremely* logical and precise. In other words, they are not assuming you're not married because you did not specifically mention your marital status. "this is emily, i am in love with her" does not mention a marital status. a socially calibrated person would assume from that statement that you are not married (because most people would've said "my wife" if they were married), however super logical computer brain would not infer anything regarding your marital status because it was not even mentioned:

    was her name mentioned: yes
    her name: emily
    was your "in love" status mentioned: yes
    are you in love: yes
    was your marital status mentioned: no
    are you married: null

    :big grin:

    as always i enjoy reading your posts, JJJ


    sorry for typos or lack of punctuation. im posting from my phone.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2009

Share This Page