Single Woman and Men in relationships V.Phenomenon

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by TwistedMind, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. TwistedMind

    TwistedMind New Member

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    I put this in serious discussion as well, but I know some of yall never leave this place so I thought I would put it here to.




    So this isn't the first time I have experianced it and I doubt it will be the last, but when i'm single I have a hard time getting a decent date, now that im in a steady relationship I got woman coming out of the fucking wood works trying to get me to cheat.

    Ladies, what the fuck gives?

    Ok im single, I ask you out I actually have to work for it. I'm a average guy, average job, nothing really stands out about me.

    Now i'm taken you act like im driving a lambo, look like brad pitt, johnny depp, or colin farrel, have a billion dollar bank account etc.


    For example, I was at a party the other night with my girl. She wasn't feeling well so she went home. I was just trying to hang with my friends, once my girl left I no shit have this girl whos name is Jessica tell me that if I want I can have a threesome with her and her friend no strings attached.

    I got girls asking me to go out with them, asking for my number, when we are going to do this or that and they arent even my friends, just aquantences from my group of friends that would normally never give me the time of day but all of a sudden im hot shit.


    So what is it? I have fallen for this when I was a younger man and found myself single and wondering what the fuck happened to all the woman that just a few days ago couldn't wait to have me.

    I won't do it again id just like to know what goes on in y'alls head that all of a sudden a guy you probably wouldn't be interested in shows up with a girl on his arm that you all want him.
     
  2. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    1. Now that other women know you are in a relationship, you are preselected. This means at least one other woman has selected you for a relationship and, by women's logic, if one woman has already chosen you, you must be a good catch. Because of this, other women's attraction for you is increased. This effect is magnified if your gf is high status. You will see this same thing if you go into a bar with one or more attractive women on your arm. Other women will automatically be interested/attracted to you. Compare this to if you go into the same bar alone. You probably wouldn't get much attention from any women right off the bat.

    2. Now that you are in a relationship you naturally have more confidence which women can pick up on. Men in relationships lose the "needy" vibe that they may once have had.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  4. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    it works the other way too: as soon as women get into relationships, men come out of the woodwork professing their love to them.
     
  5. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    lol that's so true. You can see it happen when you stop dating a chick. All these guys who claimed to be 'friends' that stopped talking to her around the time you started dating, will all of a sudden act like they've missed her so much and been her best friend forever and start flooding her again until she gets involved again.
     
  6. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    women are evil bitches who just want to screw you and everyone else over
    /thread

    just kidding, i hate that shit too, i think it also has a little bit to do with confidence level being raised since you have a girl already. That or you have a giant penis and she told everyone..........haha
     
  7. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    i think thats the opposite timing of what he meant...but yes true
     
  8. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    now you can either get her to allow an open relationship

    or

    just act like you are in one :mamoru:
     
  9. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    +1.

    I think it has "something" to do with the whole wanting what you can't have/pre-selected crap, but IMO the main thing is the above.

    When you are single you want a girl, you want ass, you want female attention, etc... You are naturally going to work more for it and want it more, and it shows (to the woman). When in a relationship you have no desire to fuck that girl or give her the attention she desperately craves; because you have a g/f and you are committed to her. This makes you stand out from the average guy, it portrays HUGE confidence, and women love it.

    When I was dating my last g/f I would get hit on constantly... even by her friends. Her friends would ask detailed questions about me in bed, pull me aside to dance with me, flirt excessively, etc... Girls in class were always trying to make conversation with me and flirt their way into "something more". But I didn't give a crap, I had a girl of my own.

    This time around, while playing the single/dating game I am going to take that approach constantly. Honestly, I just got out of a 6 year relationship and I don't "need" a girl now anyways... so hopefully that attitude will carry some females in my direction.
     
  10. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    whoops, I thought she said as soon as women get OUT of relationships. I find the opposite of what she said to be true actually. It seems most guys stop talking to the girl after they see she's happy with another guy, then the second that status changes to 'single' they are all pounding down the door :rofl:
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Since you're with a girl, you become emotionally nonreactive to women because you no longer depend on their validation.

    They detect that you are being real, not putting on a show, and get pulled in.

    It has nothing to do with women. It's all about the way you are behaving. Subconsciously.

    I'm the opposite. Women are less attracted to me when I'm in love or in an LTR. When I devote a lot of time to one girl, I still like validation from other women (so I'm still reactive), while at the same time, I'm spending less time in the field (so my game suffers). More reactive, worse game = less attractive.
     
  12. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Complete opposite.

    When girls are in relationships most guys avoid them like the plague.. At least in my case. Once, they know you are taken and happy, it's like the friendship COMPLETELY ends.

    Which is kind of disheartening if you're the female in the relationship and only adds to insecurities. Your boyfriend is having a fabulous time, he's confident, he's happy with you but girls are still all up on his nuts. Makes the girl kinda wonder what's wrong with her since nobody even wants to be her friend anymore, let alone try to date her. :hs:
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    When Emily was falling in love with me her male friends didn't drop away, probably in part because we never closed our relationship.

    However, it was interesting seeing who was happy for her and who condemned her or attacked me.

    One friend went on about how he despised so-called "confident" guys and how he has always held "confident" guys in contempt. He acted as if if she told him that she had fallen for someone he would either crumble or explode.

    Another was pretty much happy for her and cool about the whole thing... except for one instance where he "warned" her that I was known as a player.

    And many were purely happy for her without reservation. There were all sorts.
     
  14. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Guys like that are pathetic. :mamoru: When I started dating my boyfriend people at work knew that he was an athlete etc so they started warning me about "his type." They didn't even knowww him. I mean srsly? How pathetic can one be??


    But yea... Basically all of my guy friends have ditched me. OR when we start a conversation, the first question or two they ask is "So uhh, you still with that guy?" He has a name jackasses. Use it. :squint:
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i can't thank orbiters enough for all the good they have done me.

    i wish all girls had three of them around at all times
     
  16. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Orbiters?
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    guys, usually friend-zoned, who "orbit" a girl that they harbor sexual desire for.
     
  18. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I've had both good and bad experiences with them.

    Perhaps it depends more on the girls maturity, but sometimes those orbiters get crafty with the way in which they talk trash about you and begin to put doubts into the girls head.

    But just the same, that sometimes it fuels it girls desire for you when people talk ill of you.

    I've seen it go down both ways. For me, it all depended if the guy was interested in her. All of my ex's male friends that had no interest in her romantically became more MY friend than hers and now that we are broken up they are hanging with me.
    All of her friends that liked her while we were dating don't speak a word to me anyone and just stick to her like glue saying how I was bad for her anyway.
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    it's not what they say, it's how you react to what she says they said.

    unless they are using bf-destroying tactics. but if that's the case i wouldn't call them orbiters, i'd call them players.
     
  20. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Girls like taking guys from other girls, its a huge confidence booster.
    "insecure" chicks to love knowing they are getting someone who should not be 'gettable' Now that you are "taken" you are a challenge.
     
  21. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    wow somehow, thats so not my experience. I have a LOT of guy friends; I was always the gal-pal if you will. Granted, I lost a couple of guys when i entered this serious relationship, but a lot more came forward and told me "i've always had a crush on you, I'm so mad you're in a relationship now."
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    .

    Same here.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    meh. girls are not as cocky as that.

    guys are challenges anyway. even if the challenge is just to confirm that they would in fact fuck her, the challenge is still there.

    a guy being in an LTR can be a plus or a minus, depending on how he plays it.

    if he comes off as a lecherous cheater, the girl gets less validation because he's just a prick.

    if he comes off as a guy who just happens to have a good bond with the girl, she gets more validation because despite his good character she is luring him away.
     
  24. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I never understood that shit.

    Why the hell does a guy sit around being your friend while secretely liking you and then blurts out that he's into you when you get involved.

    What is wrong with the guy? If you are single, and he is single and he likes you then why isn't he asking you out? I just don't get that.
    I guess you could use the "I didn't want to make the friendship strange" argument, but by letting her know you like her after she just got into a relationship is making things even worse :rofl:

    By any chance, were these guys insecure and too afraid to ask you out and by the time they actually told you (when you were dating someone else) did they go about it all "emo" like, feeling bad for themselves or tell you in a drunken moment?
     
  25. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Nope.

    My guy friends ditch me.. Probably because my boyfriend and I are together 24/7.. So even if some guy likes me at work, he'd never get the balls to tell me because my boyfriend always visits. :love:

    I'm fine not feeling "wanted" by other guys. I don't need the male attention to feel good about myself and my boyfriend gives me pleeeenty of it.
     

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