SRS Single life= no life?????

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by twisted_angel, Nov 7, 2005.

  1. twisted_angel

    twisted_angel New Member

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    Hi,
    I just wanted to see what other peoples opinions are on single life.

    I am single through choice now, i donot want a relationship and this is making so many people question who i am, especially men, they seem to see it as an attack on their sexuality, that not wanting a date means either there is something wrong with them or with me.
    I haven't had a bad relationship, been beaten, mistreated and im not a lesbian, i think men are great and i enjoy their company more than a womans alot of the time, i just don't want one.
    I went through the motions for a few years, dates that never went anywhere due to my heart not being in it, but i felt it was the "normal" thing to do.
    Since i took a long hard look at the reasons i was unhappy and realised that the fact i was trying to do something i didn't really want was the cause and have stopped people think i have a problem.
    I have a good life, own home and business, financially independent, a great circle of friends, male and female, 2 amazing children, i am not afraid of the fact that one day i will be alone, i am more happy now than ever so why would i change it, why would anyone?
    Yet my choice is questioned all the time.
    I have just had an argument about this topic with a male friend who thinks that i am mentally damaged for not wanting to take our friendship further.
    Is single life so bad???
     
  2. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    i feel single life is pretty bad now, cause i miss having someone to share good times with other than my friends, on a more intimate and personal type level. i believe it really depends on the person, and the stage of life they are at and what they want. for you it seems like being single is great, and while other people might say your missing out on this or that, obviously that isnt important to you and you dont miss it, especially since you went through that experience already. I know many of my friends are never without a gf or bf and just need that someone to relate with on that level that no one else can provide. I myself was a loner and kept to myself only having a few friends that were close because i was shy ahd insecure. Now im 24 and still only had one gf which was a pretty serious relationship, but died after she cheated on me.

    Yes i wish i had someone in my life to share things with, but again like yourself this isnt on the top of my list of important things. I think with your kids, business and other areas of your life being pretty busy, this doesnt take precendent in your life, making you ask this question. You see your friends who are in a relationship and they are most likely showing you, or telling you to meet someone, since they think it is great but that is for their lifestyle not yours.

    I guess it boils down to the fact that everyone is different which is obvious, but everyone needs different things in their life to make themselves feel complete or secure. Some need money number one, material objects,status and they could care less about anything else. Some rather have someone special and be happy, and could care about nothing else. This tends to change as the the person grows, but the true traits of that individual are always buried somewhere inside and continue to stay lit no matter how they are influenced to change their life by perceiving other peoples lives. Look at your life from a different perspective, dont let others try to make you "think" or "see" what you are missing from their perspective.
     
  3. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    The fact that you are happy being single is a very good indication that you are ready for a long term relationship. Its the people who are dying to get into a LTR that do not deserve it.

    Or, just tell any guy that approaches you that you are perfectly happy being single. That way they will not take it as a personal rejection.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    The "single life" can either mean the "alone life" or the "not tied down and free to roam life".

    The first one is the default. You make conscious effort to create the latter.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its not an extraordinairy or akward choice when you take it in aspect that most people only bring hatred and darkness into eachothers lives. Many people are married but few are in love with eachother, a lot of marriages fail, and i think its important that you stand in support of the choice that you made.

    The men are upset simply because they aren't getting the sex that they desire from you or woman in general that if you refuse to give because you want to remain single, people will start to question that 'stance of life' for that reason so to speak.

    Questions like 'is she a lesbian?, is she mentally ill/crazy, does she have some disease ,just came out of a relationship? etc etc will come.

    Simply because 'they' are searching for a partner in life , doesn't mean you are on that same level nor desire such a kind of lifestyle.

    On the other hand people will always critise you NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. Married people may look normal but internally also have doubts on if it was the right thing to do. What is important is that you stand above these kind of people, and lead a lifestyle that is adjusted to YOUR standards, you are living your life, you have free will ,are adult and can decide for yourself.

    Whats important is a strong defence, you always have to be able to justify yourself for everything that you do. Critics will come to you on every level on every choice that you make, best thing to say to these people that they should look at their own lives instead of yours.
     
  6. twisted_angel

    twisted_angel New Member

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    Thankyou for the replies, i am so tired of people asking me to explain why i want to stay single, the problem that most have is the fact i find casual sex soul destroying and as i don't want a relationship i am celebate now but it isn't an issue, yes i miss sex, but there is far more to life and the only defense i can give when questioned is that i am truly happy, so why spoil it?
    I just wish "friends" would stop trying to fix me up, the latest guy my friend tried to pair me of with smelt of marmite, had a nervouse twitch and danced like Mr Bean! ...and then they ask why i'm single??? lol
     
  7. 46&2

    46&2 Self ******

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    Being alone does not equal being lonely. Sometimes it is good to "recharge" yourself. I appalud your decision because you are being true to yourself and not compromising your life.
     
  8. jshively

    jshively OT Supporter

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    I actually love single life. I find I get so much more accomplished. I have an awesome family and friend support system and I don't need someone to confirm my life.

    My goal is simply to life as full as life as possible. Experience everything I possibly can think of and even stuff I can't think of. I sat down and made a list years ago of stuff I will accomplish by 30. Almost done with it and have less than 2 years. Got some big things on the list but by the time I am 30 the list will be done then it is time for the by I am 35 list and so on.

    Along with that list of things to do I also have the list of qualities I want. Stuff that matters like goal oriented, family oriented, loves travel, etc. etc. not superficial things although I believe being attracted to your mate is vital but no preference on hair color, height, or any of that crap.

    When the right one comes around is when I will settle down till then I will just have fun. No worries about being single because if I am improving myself, have an awesome outlook on life, and interesting experiences I am making myself more desirable as opposed to someone who pines around the house wondering why he single and reeks of desperation.
     
  9. twisted_angel

    twisted_angel New Member

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    Thankyou for that positive reply jshively you sound like you have a full and happy life :)
    x
     
  10. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Its backwards for me. I feel great that I've got nothing holding me down for a while, and then I get bored and miss having someone to depend on, and the feeling that someone else needs me.
     
  11. Wolf

    Wolf No one plans to take the path that brings you lowe

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    :hs: I hate being around people. I can never trust people so I'm always guarded around others.

    I'd rather have a dog to talk to and keep my company than a person. :hsughno:
     

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