FRK Signs and signals

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Feb 26, 2006.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I was having sex with my gf two nights ago. She said she wanted me to fuck her hard. We did it doggy style. At one point she asked me if she had been bad. At first I was just like, "Bad?" :rolleyes: Then she asked again a minute later and, interpreting it cautiously as a hint, I said that she had been a little bad. I don't remember how the suggestion came up, but I began slapping her ass while I was going at it, and she liked it. The thing that's bothering me is that I don't know if she was spinning a scene for herself ("I was bad, and need to be fucked.") or if she was genuinely asking me if I disapproved of her partying behavior, hoping to get back into my good graces through sex.

    I've always discussed with her various desires, including how some people enjoy being degraded during sex. She has outwardly described this kind of sex with mild disdain (whatever, no offense plz). This leads me to believe that MAYBE, she can't openly request things like rough, slightly punishing sex, but instead needs to rely on signals and symbolic language to ask for it. Or maybe she just thought that's what I wanted: for her to give herself to me because I deserved some satisfaction after her improper behavior.

    Afterwards she described it as some of the best sex she'd ever had. I don't know exactly what to think. If she is into that kind of stuff, I can't stand the whole implicit thing, at least not after the fact. She should be able to say what she likes without being ashamed.

    Btw, I have no idea what she did that she thought was "bad," if there actually was anything at all.
     
  2. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    she was probably just trying to spice up the sex..if it gets not boring but if there's no "talk" it might have been her way to bump it up and get a little more into it
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    This language confuses me a bit
     
  4. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Women are programmed by society with ASD (Anti-slut defense). IE, she will say or do things (or NOT say or do things) to avoid being labled a slut. That doesn't mean that she doesn't want to.

    She may have feared your reaction to being asked to spank her, so she suggested it in a way she could easily back out of.

    Cliffs: Your GF wants it hard, but does not want you to think she is slutty. Don't make her ask, just DO it.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I guess. I hate all the smoke and mirrors I need to navigate before I find out what someone is really into. I felt bad bc it's a bit new for me. It's not second nature for me to fuck the shit out of someone, mostly bc the females in my family have accidentally trained me always to be respectful. LIke I know the idea of this kind of rough sex would be very embarrassing and somewhat wrong to my mother and older sister. Not to mention my dad. I'm not timid at all, which may be how I made it sound just now. I have fun with sex, I laugh, I do what I want to at the moment, but up till now I've avoided disrespect.

    On the other hand, it was kind of hawt doing it this way, especially at the end when she was kind of crushed into the pillow by my body and I could see the expression on her face when I came. I think I have more of this inside me than I knew.
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I hope I do, b/c she clearly likes it.
     
  7. Liddy

    Liddy Not enough cowbell.

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    Why don't you take the "I'm gonna do what the fuck I want to you, whore" approach?

    She might like being the submissive (not in the D&M sense, but rather in the exploratory sex sense). :)
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm not sure quite how much disrespect she wants. "Never call a lady a whore," is clashing with, "Spice up the bedroom."
     
  9. firedancer

    firedancer New Member

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    "lady on the street, but a freak in the bed" FTW...

    just try talking to her about it in a setting where you're both comfortable - she may act/ be embarassed talking about it, but let her know that there isn't anything wrong with wanting what you're calling "disrespect" in the bedroom, and that you just want to know what would please her the most...
     
  10. Liddy

    Liddy Not enough cowbell.

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    You don't need to call her a whore, just take a more controlling type approach...
     
  11. StarKitty

    StarKitty Daydream Believer..

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    Are you sure you're not my boyfriend, because you sound JUST like him.

    Your girlfriend just wants some rough, fuck her brains out sex. She (like most girls) would be furious if any guy on the street called her a whore, but when her boyfriend calls her one in the bedroom, it's hot. Don't ask me why that is, I really don't know, but it just is that way. (Tell me you're with me on this one, girls.) Her asking "Have I been bad?" has NOTHING to do with her outside life. It's a prompt for you to say "Yes baby, you've been very bad.. so bad I'm going to give you a spanking, ect." The fact that she's asking this while having sex doggy style (a very submissive position), means that she's submitting to you.

    Trust me, pull her hair. Fuck her roughly. Tell her she's your little slut. She's not going to get offended, she's going to be TURNED on. She's asking you to do this, she's just still unsure of your reaction, so she's beating around the bush about it. She wants you to figure it out without her having to tell you.

    (Oh please lurker boyfriend of mine, read this and get the hint. Ha ha.)

    good luck!!! :x:
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I actually did the unthinkable and had a long and blatant discussion about the whole thing.

    The roughness of the sex was a turn-on. The punishment aspect (bad girl getting fucked) was just experimental, because she felt like she was in a rough sex mood and thought maybe now would be a good time to try it out. She didn't really find, as it turned out, that that aspect of the sex was a turn-on, as much as the roughness and the amount of control I had in the situation. I told her I'm up for that "I'm gonna fuck you cuz ur a bad girl" thing if she likes it. I received a lot of gratitude for being open and talking about it.

    See, most of her boyfriends in the past when talking about sex were like, "Yeah, girl, whatever, I fucked you good and then came on ur back." They were uncomfortable talking about it explicitly. So she thought I probably would be too. She wanted to bring the topic up but wasn't sure how, so it turns out that I did her a favor.

    She somewhat dislikes the idea of being called a whore. She could probably deal with it fine if it were my thing, but it's not really a turn-on for her. I mean she might want to try that kind of talk sometime just to try it, but it's not a fantasy of hers. Her desires are really more about passion, roughness, physical control and carnality than psychological domination or "discipline."

    That's fine with me. That's more than fine with me. My two favorite types of sex (at the moment) are, in no particular order:
    • Rough, doggy style, spanking, hard, I'm in control, etc. until climax.
    • Slower, with the girl acting seductive, teasing, etc. until climax.
     
  13. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Totally agree with StarKitty. She's not asking for forgiveness for bad behavior! She is asking for rough sex! :naughty:

    I think that's awesome that you were able to go through with the spanking! You have opened up a whole new world of excitement and adventure! Yum!!!
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    StarKitty was right about some stuff, and wrong about others. In particular:
    Tell him yourself.
     
  15. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    girls want to be slutty, not sluts. she'll never tell you things like that flat out, but she will love you doing them
     
  16. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    I am always open with my fiance, but he knows that I'm a dirty slut who needs to be beaten. :o
     
  17. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    he knows, and you're open, but you never at one point sat down with him and said "hi honey. listen. you need to call me a slut and slap me around some, thats who i am, at least in bed." get my point? you let him know much more subtly at first, just like this girl is doing.

    by the way, how beaten is "beaten"? :naughty:
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I guess mine's the exception to the rule. As soon as I brought it up she started talking all about it. Shamelessness ftw. :big grin:

    I don't deal well with passive requests, or passive-aggressiveness for that matter, so I'm glad I found someone comfortable enough to say what she likes and doesn't like.

    "You like that hard cock in your cunt, don't you bitch," happens not to be appealing to her.
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I wonder if the hair-pulling thing is up her alley too... I will ask, though I think not, because the reason she likes spanking is because it literally feels good on her ass, whereas hair pulling is more of a psychological thing?
     
  20. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    Actually, yes I did. :o
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :bowdown:
     
  22. niknaim

    niknaim New Member

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    she,s into it:naughty:
     
  23. rugger05

    rugger05 New Member

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    I think it's hot when my boyfriend is rough an agressive, so I hint when I want it.


    What's not hot, is asking him to be rough you know.. Kind of takes away from the who dominance part of it.
     
  24. remike

    remike the second coming

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    doggystyle with a handful of her hair so that her head is pulled back FTW
     
  25. ShoverBot

    ShoverBot OT Supporter

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    i think most girls like the hair pulled, at least at the base of there neck iv herd it makes them go crazy theres something back there nerve wise that just does it for em
     

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