SRS Sigh

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Timdog, Jun 28, 2005.

  1. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Since this is my second post ever on OT, I guess I should explain my background.

    I've had a great life. I've had great parents who really do care about me. My family is also fairly well off so I've never had to worry about where my next meal was going to come from. I've always had straight A's in school and usually take the more advanced classes. I've never really been a total nerd, I'm a ninja nerd now who still does nerdy things on the interwebs, but IRL, I tone it down a lot. :p

    I'm currently 15, going to be a sophmore next year. I'm actually NOT that interested in girls at this time. To me, most of them are still annoying. None really have me interested beyond a physical attraction.

    I'm a bit overweight at 154.5 5`5-6(not sure ATM). That is 8 pounds less than the beginning of summer though, so I am losing weight.

    Now you may ask, well what's your problem? It's not a very major problem; I'm not depressed or anything. Broed would be a better word for me. ;)

    I've got a whole bunch of things I want to do. Here's a short list of some of them:

    Lose more weight - already accomplishing this, although my dad recently bought some weight stuff for home, so I might look into doing that
    Start learning JAVA - This is so I can be a little more comfortable when I take my JAVA class next year
    Get better at Spanish - This is probably my weakest subject and I would like to improve it
    Read more - I've got quite a few books that I would like to read
    Get a job - Like I've said, I come from a well-to-do family. I want to start making my own money though. It might be a bit complicated though because I won't be able to drive until next summer. :(
    Gaming - I really want to get a job involved in gaming. I figure I might as well start doing things now like mapping, skinning, working on a mod team, etc. so I have a little experience before going to college. I also want to play through the games that I never got a chance to finish

    You'll notice that most of those really don't involve a lot of social interaction, but I'm fine with that. I'm a bit antisocial and I'm happy this way so why change it?

    Anyway, so far this has been my routine for a summer day. Wake up. Do the morning stuff. Say "Ok, gonna start doing all those things I want to today." Head over to the comp and say "Oh ok, I'll check my email before I start." Then I'll browse several forums for a bit. Then play the SAME game I have been playing all summer for awhile. Then kind of get bummed out. I just can't decide what to do with the time. I want to do all of those things, but I end up doing the same thing day in and day out. What do you think I can do to break out of this slump?

    I think this smiley describes me best right now: :run:
     
  2. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    Step one... turn off your computer... problem solved :)
     
  3. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Haha, that will probably make me more confused. Like I said, I like being a nerd and spending a ton of time on the comp. I know, I'm really weird. :rofl:
     
  4. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Uninstall the computer game, or just use will power to play for 2 hours tops. I used to be addicted to Diablo.... it was bad.
     
  5. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Well, sometimes it's a game, sometimes it's browsing websites. I just can't seem to break out and start doing the things that I really want to be doing. It's like I have a perfect day planned or something. Maybe if I try adding one new thing a week to make it slower and not try to take it all on at once?
     
  6. AR

    AR Guest

    Social interaction.

    Are you an only child? I was an only child, however I didn't get into gaming and into the internet that much. I just was a quiet kid. I had good communication skills, I was articulate, decent looks... but I just was a quiet kid, that's all. I know where you are coming from. I use to even be a little heavy myself when I was your age.

    I just would like for you give up your antisocial nature. It will pay off, really. I never was intentionally antisocial, I just was a shy person. Just give it up. Try to find a close group of friends. Build situations where you can talk with new people. Don't just hideout in your room gaming away your evenings after school.
     
  7. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Yes, I am an only child. I have already tried the social thing. It just... didn't work for me. I felt like I was wasting time. :/
     
  8. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    Well you should TRY it AGAIN, until it works for you. If you are miserable being alone and un-productive, then DO something about it.
     
  9. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Get a life and stop whining.
    Why not go out there and do something worthwhile like helping somebody????
    Teach some kids who are not as FORTUNATE as you are to use a computer.
    Spread some of that "I do have everything I want" around.
    Swap something you can do for Spanish tutoring.
    Open your eyes.
    Look around.
    Holy Doodle.
    (Pup's in a bad mood today).
     
  10. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Awww, pup... :kiss:
     
  11. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    :hug: Pup.

    Look Timdog, we all have tendencies that we think are out of our control. For some of us, it's easy to be lazy and waste our days away either watching TV or playing video games.

    You can rationalize it and say "Oh, well, the time I spend on these games is useful because I want to be a video game programmer one day" or "I really can't control myself...." as a means to procrastinate or to to justify your behavior. We all do it. It's the same fear I have about to embark on my own business....will I have the discipline to pull it off enough to even pay my rent? Or will I fall back into watching the next season of LOST? Playing WoW? Napping?

    Ultimately you have to be honest with yourself and realize you're hurting nobody but yourself with this behavior...and that it's nothing more then procrastination and laziness.

    You combat these things by replacing bad behavior with good habits. You get good habits by repeated behavior that often times involves forcing yourself to do this behavior in repeated fashion.

    Don't add things to your list you know perfectly well you will not do. Instead, take the baby steps you need to reinforce the behavior you are looking to have. Break your goals down into tiny achievable daily goals and get them accomplished each day...check them off your list as you go.

    If necessary, use the theory of conditioning (remember Pavlov and his drooling dog?) to work for you. Pick something you really enjoy doing and reward yourself with that postive reinforcement as soon as you accomplish one of your daily goals.

    Today you will play just 5 mins less of that game you play. You will learn 1 Java script today. That's it. Break it down to things you know you can easily achieve at first and note down the success. Do this for a week and then the next week over double up the time. Over and over... repeat and reinforce.

    I used to go to buy myself a smoothie from Jamba Juice each time I finished a run each Sunday morning. Rain or shine.... I knew it was putting all the calories I probably ran off that day, but so what.... it was reward to myself for accomplishing something that I knew was a long term benefit to my health.

    Before long, 1/2 mile became 1 mile. 1 mile became 2. 3 miles. 4 miles. On and on.

    Like you I have to actively combat laziness. I enjoy playing games and watching TV as much as the next guy. When I feel the temptation and I know I have better things I should be doing...I immediately either drive to the nearest Starbucks or cafe to do my work. OR, I take a more permanent move to cancel whatever I have that is tempting me.

    I recently canceled my cable subscription. I'll probably end my WoW in a month or so as well.

    You can do it. Just stop fooling yourself.
     
  12. LiQuiD_FuSioN

    LiQuiD_FuSioN New Member

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    Diablo, PK PK PK I'VE A LVL 90 BARB THAT WILL OMGPWN YOU! HAHA


    lol, diablo caused alot of problems for me.. when i was in school a couple years ago i never turned in assignments in time. i got wrapped up in the computer.

    My advice to you TimDog, is to start something NOW. Don't let the computer be your only outlet.
     
  13. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    I think this is what I was looking for. There's one are where I've never been lazy and that's school. Maybe I just need to apply what works there with the other aspects of my life. I know this isn't what you meant by spreading what I have around, but I do try to help people as much as I can. If someone has a problem in school, I'll try to help them. People do come to me a lot since they know that I'm a good student. And I'm the tech support for my entire grade it seems. :bowdown:

    I think this smiley descirbes my mood a little better now: :hsd:
     
  14. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Yeah, I cancelled my cable last year and I don't miss it at all. Once in a while, someone will talk about some show that sounded interesting, but nah, generally I don't miss it at all. Plus last year, it was all reality tv. You can only watch so much of that shit anyway.

    The secret to not missing your solitary vices, be it tv, wow, diablo whatever, is to start doing stuff that's MORE fun.

    Try not to see it as depriving yourself of tv. When you start doing really fun stuff, something's gotta go to make room. When you've got the right combination of things, you won't miss tv. It just ceases to become as interesting as the other stuff you're doing.

    At one point I realized I hadn't watched tv in like 3 months, only because the cable bill came.
     
  15. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Haha, I only ever watch 24/Monk with TV. I think that TV has really gone downhill in the recent years. All of them keep copying each other's reality tv series and show nothing but that. I watched survivor when it was in it's second season, but after that, they all lost their appeal.
     
  16. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Ok, I'm going to start setting a reward system. Like tonight, I'm going to do something and once I've done that, I can play 30 mins or an hour of a game.


    However, there is still one thing that I want to get changed. I tried the social interaction thing for 2 weeks, it just didn't work for me. I got bored after a few days although I decided to stick it out till the end of school. My personality just doesn't work that way. I'm happier being a bit of a loner. I'm not totally antisocial, I'll still talk to people during school and I do have some friends. I just don't like the "hanging out" part of it. Maybe it's because it's always repetitive. I don't really know.

    That said, I love having some privacy when I'm at home. I spend a lot of time on the computer, but not every waking minute. THe current computer setup is a bit odd compared to what most people have, but that's just the way it's set up. The computer room is next to the family room, and anyone sitting on the couch can see directly into the room. This isn't my big problem, but since my dad's computer is in here also, and my mom shares that computer with him, I get disturbed a lot. Sometimes my mom will come in and talk with my dad for 30 mins. That's one reason why I got noise canceling headphones so I can usually continue to do what I want to. However, when I'm doing things like looking at OT or some *other* -_- forums that I frequent, I always feel like I need to put a seperate IE window up with some standard boring website like my email or a google search. It's not that I'm looking at anything offensive, it's just I'd feel embarressed if they saw what I was looking at. Hell, I don't even watch pr0n at all. Yes, that's right, NOT AT ALL.

    Now, at night when my parents have fallen asleep, I can close the door to this room and basically have peace and quiet for the rest of the night. I seem to have the most fun during those times because I can basically do w/e I want to. I still don't do anything that they would deem offensive. It would be more embarassing things. :mamoru:

    I would really like to move my computer upstairs to my room, but I really don't know how they would react to that. I'm not really sure how to ask them and there are also some technical problems with this.

    However, do you think I'm being a bit too weird about this? Is wanting privacy a bad thing? I know I'll get a few replies telling me to "TRY THE SOCIAL INTERACTION AGAIN!" but I'm telling you, IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. Believe it or not, it doesn't work for everyone. I'm just one of those people. Maybe I was hanging with the wrong crowd, but there really is only one crowd at my school to hang with. -_- I like chatting on IRC and playing games with the friends I've met online. And that's because they are interested in the same thing that I am. Oh well, I've written a freaking novel here and I really should be doing that thing that I said I was going to do. I'll check back to see what people thing when I'm done. :hug:

    EDIT: I also want to mention that I really don't have a problem with meeting new people. I've gone to places and met 10 new people and I can get to know people fairly well. I just like it more when I'm alone TBH. Yup, I'm probably the weirdest human being on the planet. :big grin:
     
  17. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I think your falling into the catagory ' too little too late'

    You need to start butkicking your life, whatever you do now do it 10 times faster and harder, your life is in low gear, and you need to but kick yourself and all the obstacles in life to get things done , become a 'too much , too soon' person. That way you want to get things done as fast as possible, within a small amount of time. Only do things that are important in your life, ask with everything that you do, is it important. No, then dump it. Set priorities, you have made a list of a few things that you want to accomplish, do nothing else but focussing on these accomplishments, and get rid of everything(non violent of course) that stands in your way in achieving these things.
     
  18. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Wow.

    I started reading through all of the threads in this forum and found I could easily relate to a lot of them. I was becoming more and more depressed every minute. I finally found out that I had really been hiding this depression inside and that I really was very depressed. I started to slouch and I turned on some very depressing music. I finally broke down and cried for a little bit. I looked back on my life and saw that I had realing just been acting like a spoiled brat. I looked back at the good times and the bad. I felt like I was never going to change, that I would never be anything but a brat. I knew I wanted to change, but every single day I never did anything about it. I just kept wasting away. Then I slapped myself in the face and it stopped. I'm serious. My mind did a 360 and I suddenly was probably the happiest I had ever been. I have no idea what happened, but I've somehow complete changed by going into a very deep state of depression. My thoughts became positive and I look to tomorrow with excitement and not dread. Maybe I'm just the most fucked up person out there? At this point, I really don't care anymore. :rofl:

    Who knew?

    :wiggle:
     
  19. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Ok, keep us informed on your well being now and in the future until you feel its no longer necessery.
     
  20. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    diablo is a soft game compared to MMORPG's.

    they are like hard drugs. me and my friends used to be hooked. complete social disaster.

    coming upon 18, having been what you've been through. i recommend SOCIALIZATION for this man ASAP.

    find girls you like, ask them out, after you make sure you look good enough to. but dont be afraid, and the first rejection is the worse, then you get over it.

    then again ive never been rejected in my life. 3 girls asked me out, and the 1 i asked out said yes.

    but i wouldnt really lose much sleep if i was rejected.

    i still mad game it up. but now im getting a job and talking about moving in a apartment with my gf (im 18!)

    life is the best game out there. be a player.
     
  21. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Today was probably the best day that I've had in awhile. I still feel a bit bummed though. I've been thinking about it a lot throughout the day and I believe it's all boiling down to monotony(sp?). I seem to be doing the same thing day in and day out. I want to try new things, but I just haven't done them. I think I've figured out why.

    I seem to care about what my parents think too much. I don't want to try something different because I'm scared that they'll somehow stop me from doing it. For example, if I want to go out with some friends ( I do have SOME freinds luckily :)), I feel that they won't let me go because that's not what I normally do. I think I've just gotten this thought into my head and I can't seem to get it out. I know they are very accepting. I think I just need to do something and see how they react. They most likely won't do anything. I Just had that negative thought drilled into my head. Time to undrill it. :big grin: How will I ever know if I don't try?

    I do have a question: Why is it that most teens want to rebel against their parents while I feel the exact oppisite?
     
  22. johan

    johan Active Member

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    What makes you think "most" teens rebel against their parents?

    The ones that do...think what their parents are like. This has more to do with them than the teens.
     
  23. individual

    individual New Member

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    Eh, seems like my original reply is going to be too late. But if you are having a hard time making friends/not interested in them try to set up some networking, and you get friends out of that!, at least, life is a whole lot easier if you know people who know people. Don't tell yourself that you have nothing to offer because you do, you know computers and that’s a wide open door right there.

    With the privacy thing, it isn't weird it is understandable, but if you can live without it just do it. But ask yourself, is the computer in your room going to lead to productivity to yourself or to your level 3 characters on a game.
     
  24. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    Well, I talked to someone on AIM today and I'm starting to get an urge to become more social again. Only problem I have is that I know people, but I don't ever have anything to say to them. Start talking about something that I know about and I'll talk to you for hours. Talk about something I don't know about and I'll stay quiet the entire time. Unfortunetly, people aren't that interested in computers. They only come to me if they have tech problems. Maybe I should try getting out more... :o
     
  25. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    To give an update, I haven't really improved much. I think I need to talk things over a bit more.


    I still feel like I don't know what I really want to do. I seem to find something that I don't like in everything. I feel lost on what to do with my life now and in the near future. I literally have no idea what I want to do at anytime anymore. Nothing seems to interest me. I can start out a day fine, but I end up slipping back to the old routine after an hour or two. Sometimes I just don't see the point to life as it's all meaningless. Sigh, I really don't know how to change this though. Everyday, I can't decide what to do... Everything seems useless to me. I don't feel like doing anything at all. I rather just go back to sleep... Does anyone have suggestions? :/
     

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