SRS *sigh* relationships are so goddamn confusing sometimes - v.rant

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tshizzle, Apr 17, 2007.

  1. tshizzle

    tshizzle :cleveland:

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    lol just sitting here thinking how to explain this one is hard enough

    ok theres this girl that ive known for years (im 26, shes 24 BTW)

    we've always had an attraction to each other, flirted alot, nothing has ever happened (although ive wanted her for quite a while) - there was always just something else in the way. i had a girlfriend, she had a boyfriend, etc etc.

    well now im a single man, and shes, well, not in a serious relationship. she was with this guy for about a year, he recently moved to Tennesee to go to grad school (about 6 months ago i think). anyways, they stayed together at first of course, but like most long distance deals things started falling apart....

    which brings us to about 6 weeks ago or so, me and her finally went out for the first time as a "date" (as opposed to just hanging out with mutual friends or something). now we've been "dating" for 6 weeks or so.

    the problem is the guy from Tennesee is still "around". i mean obviously hes not here fucking her or anything, but they still talk. about a week ago me and her had this big conversation about the whole deal, her dating me and not telling him yet, etc etc. she finally "broke up" with the guy, but again, didnt tell him about me.

    now things are fuckin great when we go out, hang out, talk, etc. we have fun, laugh, fuck around, ive met her family and shit - all that "bf-gf" type stuff.

    problem is, she just isnt 100% over this other guy. she doesnt lie about it or anything like that... shes honest, told me, hey i still have feelings for him and its hard to just stop talking to someone ive been with for over a year, etc etc. she assures me how much she really does like me, how much fun she has with me - but still just wont 100% cut this dude off, or tell him shes seeing me. shes "confused, not sure what to do about the way she has feelings for 2 people"

    at first it was ok, didnt bother me all that much, "hey hes in tennessee, im here, fuck him". but now, i really have grown feelings for her, i want her "to myself" i guess is the best way to put it.

    fucking shit bothers the shit outta me to no end. i cant be all pushy and shit or thatll just push her away, but i cant just sit aroudn letting us get closer and closer with the possibility of me getting fucked over in the end one day when this other guy makes some plea to fix all their problems or something.....

    *sigh* just ranting, wtf do i do?
     
  2. daxtrader

    daxtrader New Member

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    Let her go and tell her to get back to you when she's completely through with the other guy. You don't deserve the extra baggage. It won't take long, she'll be back in no time since the other guy is in tennessee. If you stick around listening to her talk about this other dude, she's gonna eventually lose respect for you.
     
  3. tshizzle

    tshizzle :cleveland:

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    i hear ya, but its hard to explain it. i dont listen to her talk about this other dude at all, she doesnt bring him up ever unless i do.

    but at the same time, this is a girl i've wanted for so long - shes smart, bout to graduate college, hot as hell, super cute, good family, etc.

    and if you knew the type of prissy-annoying bitches i've usually dated, youd see why its really hard for me to just let a girl like this go :hsd:
     
  4. daxtrader

    daxtrader New Member

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    I can totally relate. The last girl I was with was perfect in every aspect (That's what I thought at the time). This is why you MUST let her go. You're showing signs of clingyness and I can tell you she will lose interest. I hate the way girls think and work these days but that's just reality. They always want something they don't have.

    I can tell that you treat her like a queen. This would all be great IF the ex wasn't in the picture. Since he is though, you need to stop and let her decide what she wants on her own. Also, PLEASE don't ask questions about her ex. It shows your insecurities. Pretend you don't give a fuck about the guy and you're way better than him. Man I wish someone had told me these things earlier. I'm talking from years of experience.

    I know right now things are great and you're probably saying "ahh this fucker doesn't know what he's talking about." But this story is so common. Just read all the dating forums. You hear the same story all the time. No one ever learns to take precaution.
     
  5. tshizzle

    tshizzle :cleveland:

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    nah i hear ya for sure no doubt. and no i dont bring up the ex in more than a joking/passing manner.

    fuck i know i should let it go, i do :hsd:
     
  6. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    She has unfinished business with the guy. Either that or she's playing you.
    Time will tell.
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    This means she is not your girlfriend.

    If you choose to continue to see her, she needs to understand that you aren't available to date her exclusively because she is still involved with the other guy.

    It doesn't matter that she doesn't see him. By not telling him about you and by continuing to talk to him, she is remaining involved with him.

    Keep her around if you wish. I recommend you start dating other girls.

    If she is your only focus and your only prospect, she is going to have all the power. Which means she can do whatever she wants and all you will do is whine and complain about it.

    Start dating other women, and she will have to compete for your time and attention. And if she wants to date you exclusively, she will have to cut the other guy off.
     
  8. tshizzle

    tshizzle :cleveland:

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    well over the last week or so, I've just decided fuck it, not gonna bring it up anymore. basically i just pretend theres no other dude in the picture.

    and I havent dated other chicks though, for 2 reasons. 1, havent met any to be hoenst, and 2, I dont think I want to either - I see this girl as a girlfriend right now. not thats its official or anything, but in my mind its only a matter of time.
     
  9. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    You can pretend all you want - it's all about whats going on in her mind.
     
  10. tshizzle

    tshizzle :cleveland:

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    yea i just meant im done bringing that shit up for a while - just gonna let things play out see what happens
     
  11. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Guard your heart, from it springs all life.
     

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