SRS Sigh I have no luck :( and also WTF

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by AnoesisX, Apr 25, 2008.

  1. AnoesisX

    AnoesisX New Member

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    So, there is a girl in my astronomy class that I have been talking to after class, I walk her back to her car most of the time. She is cool, down to earth, we have the same interests etc.. About a month ago I said we should chill some time she is like definitely so we exchanged numbers. I called her but she never answered, except for some of the text messages i sent her. She said she loses her phone a lot or she is busy:rolleyes:. Just this past Wednesday, I'm talking to her and she asked me If I'm got radiohead tickets yet, I'm like nah, she said well my dad can get good deals on tickets, would you like to go with me? Im like hell yea. I ask her if she wants to goto this party friday at a club my friends band is playing etc. She said I can't cuz she is going to be in a play at the same time as the party. I said I would go but I dont wanna miss this party she replied well Its playing thursday, friday and saturday. So i said ok Ill come thursday. I goto the play she was in and after the show I walk over to her and she is talking to some older woman thinking it was her teacher or something. So I say hey, she looks suprised I huged her gave her a kiss "OMG you came i didnt see you in the audience do see the whole thing?" I said yea it was good, she smiled. She introduced the woman she was talking to I didnt hear exactly what she said, I think she said this is zacs mother and I thought to myself ok...who is zac. a group of people come up to us that were in the other plays were on the same night. So their mingling Im standing there not saying much. Then she introduces this guy that was in the play named zac and says nothing else. So I shake his hand. After awhile they are talking to each other, they start kissing and then it hits me ( I felt like ben affleck in chasing amy when he sees the girl start making out with the other girl)

    She never mentioned she had a boyfriend and was upset, I would never would of persued her the way i did. What should I do/say? Just stop talking to her or ask her why she never mentioned her bf. Should I just try to become good friends with her and when she breaks up with him, sweep in?

    This isnt the first time this has happens. I always end up liking girls who have boyfriends. Maybe I should ask the girls stright up if they have a BF before I get to involved. But she should of said something when we exchanged numbers right?
     
  2. sneakmefood

    sneakmefood Olé

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    in my opinion, i think it was a bit unfair of her to lead you on like that. although that may not have been her intention, and maybe she genuinely wanted to just go to the concert with you, she should've known better since she had a bf/SO or whatever.

    it'll be hard for you to be friends with her since there will always be that tension, at least from your side, that might complicate and ruin the friendship. i think some people have the ability to get over that but for that most part, the majority of people can't.
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    She's a girl with a boyfriend. Unless you come out and explicitly call it a date or something, they somehow forget that other guys would be interested in them. She most likely thought you just wanted to hang out as friends.
     
  4. AnoesisX

    AnoesisX New Member

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    There was another time where we had to do a paper for class and she offered to give me her paper to turn in and she would write a new one. maybe im looking to much into it but maybe she was just trying to be nice but that to me seems she is interested in me.
     
  5. $shot

    $shot OT Supporter

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    lol no, don't waste your time. drop her and move on. no biggie
     
  6. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    it doesnt matter if she is interested, shes not single and available.

    girls sometimes to like to have their boyfriend and then another guy on the side so they get double the attention. dont be that guy on the side cause you get no benefit from it
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    eh, she was either being REALLY nice, are trying to get you to owe her.

    Still, :hsugh: at offering to do someone else's work for them.
     
  8. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    Cut her off.



    Period.
     
  9. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    This behavior is typical with highschool/college women. Many of them just cannot be honest in fear of 'hurting the guy's feelings' so they'll completely go out of their way to do nice things to prevent that from happening. This ends up giving you mixed signals, being led on, and it hurts more when you find out she had no interest in you from the start. It'd of been less hurtful if she would of just told you she has a boyfriend and she's not interested in you in that way, but for some reason a lot of women don't understand this.

    Chalk it up as another lesson learned (seems to be a repeat lesson from what you've said) and keep searching. You won't be able to be just 'good friends' with her. That is a fallacy your mind will trick you into and you'll just be riding on some false hope. If she's interested in you, she'll cut ties from her b/f and pursue you without you having to stick around and pretend that you're all of a sudden okay with being just 'friends'.
     
  10. durka x 3

    durka x 3 New Member

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    She would leave her boyfriend for you if you weren't so needy and displayed a sexual and dominant frame on her. :eek3:
     
  11. Jcrash

    Jcrash 93.till.infinity-ing

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    .

    Based on OP's description of this girl I agree, I believe your chances are better with this approach. You need to exude more self confidence in yourself and demonstrate value; act like you own the room. Insinuate like crazy. If she bites take total verbal control and dance that puppet.
     
  12. justkristen

    justkristen New Member

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    Yup. Works every time from what I hear.:mamoru:
     
  13. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    I wouldn't ask about it, and I definitely wouldn't stick around with the pretense of being a rebound someday.

    Move along, nothing to see here.
     
  14. AnoesisX

    AnoesisX New Member

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    What do you mean by that? displayed a sexual and dominant frame on her.
     
  15. durka x 3

    durka x 3 New Member

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    I talked to this girl yesterday. I told her she had a nice ass. That was my opener. Then I spanked her. She told me I can't do that. I told her I couldn't help myself. It went so on and so forth. The point was, I wasn't hiding the fact I was sexual. She made excuses I just played it off as it was her fault. I controlled the interaction. I didn't hide the fact I was sexual. I didn't act like I was ashamed of my actions. Now I don't suggest you go smacking a girls ass. This has to be calibrated in field. Go out more and start talking to women. Good luck.

    Edit: Work on being needy first. The sexual and dominant frame will come with that.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2008
  16. johan

    johan Active Member

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    The approach you documented seems to be that of a 10 year old boy who likes a girl from afar but is too shy and lacks confidence.

    And you you're in college?

    the "wtf" you suggest is entirely on you. Look in the mirror.

    The girl did nothing wrong, your approach was timid and lacking clarity.
    You probably think I am suggesting you come on "way too strong".

    I am not suggesting you should be brutish or an overpowering asshole.
    Some people can make that work for them and still have it come off as charming.
    Youre likely not one of those people.



    I am suggesting you be clear about your intent. Clear and honest.

    A confident man moves toward what he wants. With skill and ease.

    An man without confidence nervously hangs around in the general vicinity of what he wants and closes his eyes and prays for it to fall into his lap.

    And then is hurt when the confident man simply walks up and takes what he wanted.

    Which man do you want to be?
     
  17. justkristen

    justkristen New Member

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    If someone I didn't know tried that shit with me, I would be tempted to rip their arm off and beat them with the bloody end.:wavey:

    I guess some girls would like that approach, I dunno.
     
  18. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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  19. durka x 3

    durka x 3 New Member

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    It's called calibration. Each girl is different. :wavey:
     
  20. justkristen

    justkristen New Member

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    I know, I saw that. I'm just saying.
     
  21. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

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    i like kristen
     
  22. justkristen

    justkristen New Member

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    :)
     

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