SRS Sick of GF's bs. Not sure what to do.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by killer4605, Apr 5, 2006.

  1. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    Ok, this is a long winded rant so be prepared.

    Just to give a little background info. This is my first GF and we have been together for about 14 months now. She broke up with me last september because she said she wanted to do her own thing (we go to different colleges. i'm 1.5 hrs away) and be able to go to parties without having to worry about our relationship. She told me I was too restrictive and needy and blah blah blah.

    Back then, she always told me about guys that hit on her and other shit, which of course bothered me, and I would tell her that she should stop flirting with them if she doesn't want the attention.

    She gives me this bs excuse that she is "flirtacious by nature" or some shit. yeah, AKA "i'm an attention whore". She also told me she had a crush on this dipshit that lives on the hall below her because he reminds her of me. Whatever.

    Anyways, so we broke up and got back together 2 weeks later.

    Now, here we are today, and the tables have turned. I'm sick of her shit. She HAS to call me every day. She doesn't understand what "i'm busy" means. If I say that, she gets pissed or cries. When she wants to go to a party, I don't bother her. When she is just watching some stupid ass tv show with her friends, I don't bother her. When she has work to do, I don't bother her.

    It's funny, you know, last week she went to a frat party and she told me about how she was dancing with some other guy and then another guy came up behind her and "sandwiched" her between the two of them. She also got wasted. None of it bothered me one bit... which suprised me because before we broke up, something like this would have been a slap in the face to me.

    Anyways, When I have (and this phone call took place last night) 2 fucking tests to prepare for next week, followed by a government paper, and she knows I can't let my goddamn 4.0 slip because I am putting my fucking future on the line (I have applied to pharmacy schools and because I am younger than everyone else and less experienced, they are watching my grades extremely closely to see if I can handle it. I'm a freshman in college and taking all the courses required in 2 semesters instead of 4.) she cries and bitches and moans until I fucking tell her that i'll make time and go see her this weekend. FUCK OFF is what I wanted to say.

    I am so stressed out that I don't know what the hell to do about the situation. I don't even know if I want to stay together anymore. I love her and everything is great when we are together, but I can't take this shit. Constant phone calls and needyness. Give me some fuckin space damn. Right now I spend ~80% of my time on shit I need to do, 5% of my time on myself, and 15% dealing with this bullshit.

    I told her that I would go see her this weekend if she would stop fucking holding me on the phone for so long for the rest of this week so I could get my damn work done and even that was a stretch. Yeah, I cracked. 35 minutes on the phone with her crying and I just wanted to get off the fucking phone and go to sleep. Oh yeah, I fucking overslept this morning and ended up missing my organic chem class. GREAT, more shit to do.

    PS: It doesn't help that I can't stand talking on the phone to begin with. I am not a phone person.

    PPS: FUCK, that was long. I didn't realize I had so much shit to say :hs:
     
  2. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    Sounds like that you you have alot of stuff going in your life stressing you out, and your girlfriend being clingy is just making it worse. However, if you want this relationship to work/last, your going to have to find time to spend time with your girlfriend. At the same time she has to respect that you have other things you need to focus on right now and cant spend 24/7 with her.

    And her talking about how she was "sandwiched" by two guys at a frat party seems really shitty. I for one would not want to her that comming from my girlfiend. It also seems like she's bragging about it as well.

    Im my opinion it seems like she was to "have her cake and it eat it."
     
  3. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    Yes, you're right. She is spoiled as fuck and will even admit that she is used to getting things her way.
     
  4. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I think that she is manipulative, untrustworthy, and selfish based upon what you have said thus far. Do you want someone like that in your life? I would dump her.
     
  5. NoXeN

    NoXeN You can find me up on one

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    whoa..sounds like my last relationship

    I hated the phone, she was 2 hrs away, I'm young and needed to concentrate on other things, so I broke it off.. feel a lot better now
     
  6. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    I forgot to mention, I told her I could go see her next week instead and she said she was too busy because she had tests and stuff to study for...Can someone say HYPOCRITE?:spank:
     
  7. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    I can identify with that. There are only certain people that I am able to just talk to forever on the phone, but otherwise, I prefer not to be talking on the phone in general.

    You sound stressed and your gf seems to be exacerbating your aggrevation.
    I think being honest with her about what you are feeling, and telling her exactly what you need from her right now is a good idea, even if it makes her cry. If she cries, just let her cry. don't get mad at her for crying, but don't allow her to manipulate you by crying either.

    Tell her just what your limitations are with her behavior, and leave it up to her to decide whether she is willing to compromise and help things work out in a way you both can handle. If she can't, then, maybe it's a good time to take a break either temporarily, or permanently.

    I am wondering what is so deficient in her life that is causing her to behave in such an attention hungry way.
     
  8. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    tell her tough shit, she can either give you the space that you need right now or take a hike. If you need to crack down and focus on school now then THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!! and if she can't understand and respect that tell her you'll call her when you take care of what's best for you and don't answer her calls for awhile. She took time off from you when she needed it, you have the right to do that also, and i'm sure your reasoning for it is more valid than her needing to "party and not worry about the relationship". Just focus on yourself and your grades right now, that is more important for your future than coddling a selfish, spoiled girlfriend.
     
  9. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    you're right. I'll go this weekend because I said I would (and I always stand by my word) but we are going to have a damn talk before I leave and I'm not going back under the same circumstances again.

    I do way too much for her to get this kind of bullshit treatment. Just a few weeks ago I drove down to pick her up on saturday because her housing wouldn't let her in until sunday, and I drove her back monday so she could get to class. The gas alone cost me over $35.00 (and I never ask her for gas money).

    Get this, she decided to go on this volunteer trip for her spring break instead of spending it with me or her family, but I got shit from her when I decided to go down to florida for my spring break because she wanted me to spend it with her... ( I still went, and had a blast.. my first time to universal & disney ).
     
  10. fightRice

    fightRice New Member

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    tell her to hit the road,

    You are in college, you've got more important shit to worry about right now ln life rather then some head case girlfriend.


    ps: besides its college, bang some random chicks or something cool
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    You couldn't have read that more wrong. She wants to make him jealous. It's being clingy in a different form. She's dealing with this like an idiot but that's what's going on.
     
  12. verveintuition

    verveintuition New Member

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    Yeah, it's definitely to get attention.

    killer4605:

    Before when she wanted parties and whatnot, you got all upset and gave her plenty of attention. And she loved it.
    Now that you're back together, and you've got a much busier lifestyle, she's not getting that same attention she did the first go round.

    Explain your priorities to her in detail and be honest with her. If she answers like she's been acting, then maybe you should decide if the relationship will work at all.
     
  13. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Personally, I'd dump her so you don't have to deal with all the drama.. its obvious that shes an attention whore.. she gets off knowing that you WANT her but now that you don't give her that needy attention you usto.. well, its backfired and now you can see that its affecting her in more ways than one..
     
  14. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    Update:

    I went for the weekend. Had a great time. It really got my mind off of school work stress (although i'm paying for it today).

    Talked with my girl and told her she needs to stop that shit or I can't be with her anymore. Also told her to stop yelling at me for stupid shit (she yelled at me because I turned off her computer when it stopped responding. she was pissed because she had some stupid links open.. der there's a browser history you tard).

    Anywho, if things don't change, i'm outta this relationship for good.

    Thanks for the pep talk guys :)
     

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