Showing Love...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by LongDongWong, Jun 13, 2005.

  1. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    How do you show someone you love them and they are your all?
    this girl I have been seeing for 9 months feels that I dont put her first and give her all my attention and she also feels that I dont truely love her. She wants to be with someone whom she can feel that she is his everything and she is number one in his life above all else....I thought I was showing her that, but she tells me last night I dont do that for her and she doesnt feel loved by me; this makes it harder for her to see a future for the two of us and now wants us to go our seperate ways. (she says both our definition of love is different, which makes us uncompatible therefore no future.) How do you show someone you truely, deep down love them and they are first above everything else.....I thought I knew what love is but I guess Im wrong. Need advice....
     
  2. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    If you have to actually go out of your way to 'try; different things to show this girl you love her then it sounds like she isnt for you. It could just be a phase after 9 months, but honestly if she doesnt get the love she needs from you by your everyday natural actions, then she isnt for you.

    If you start going out of your way to do things you dont want to do to make her feel loved, it will turn to resentment and only cause problems later.

    Going out of your way to do things for your SO should be pretty natural, if the things you do arent enough then find someone else. If you cant be your natural self to make her happy, then she isnt for you.
     
  3. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    I love going out of my to make her happy, but I guess its not enough for her.
    She said its all the little things that matter to her and eventually it builds up and for me those little things dont matter as much to me.....I guess thats where were different. I have expressed my love to her the way I know how to....but its not the way she wants.......do I just let her go or could I eventually win her over in time.....?
     
  4. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Is her name Julie? :mamoru:

    I'm going to give you a bit of advice here, so you don't waste 3 years like I did....

    Get OUT, GET OUT NOW!

    One of my exes told me the exact same thing, I didn't put her as "#1" in my life, so I "didn't love her". :rolleyes: I guess my responsibilities of work and providing for her and I, just wasn't enough.:squint: She told me I didn't show her enough, didn't spend enough time with her, we didn't do enough together, meanwhile everytime I asked what she wanted to do, she had no answers. :rolleyes: Oh well, shit happens and I'm a lot happier now without her around.

    One of my other exes was also disapointed with how much time we spent together, but when you live in different cities that are about an hour apart, it does tend to make spending time together difficult, and she was understanding about that. She wants to get back together now. :noes:
     
  5. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    If you havent won her over now, its not gonna happen (atleast thats MY opinion). It sucks that you might have to lose the time you already invested, but if she can not be happy with the sacrifices you already make then it just doesnt seem to be working.

    Sometimes people in a relationship dont realize how much thier S/O really sacrifices and comes to the wing-nut conclusion that they deserve more. In the short term this is generally acceptable, getting to know one another, and how each acts in a relationship. I would say after about 6 months all those things should be figured out, and you should know what to expect in your relationship. Yes people change over time, and a good relaitonship is about changing together.

    If what you are doing for her now isnt enough, when will it be enough? The answer to that is most likely never. Unless you change yourself and your perspective on the relationship it is bound fail, because she doesnt sound like she thinks its her doing anything wrong. Dont change, move on...
     
  6. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    :bowdown:
     
  7. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    she's told me that she thought I would be a different person, but the more time we spent together and the more she got to know the "real" me the more she realized I'm not what she pictured ..... we have had this conversation before, about us moving on and our differences 3 times and each time we end up going back to how we were; which was being boyfriend and girlfriend but without the title and it would be good for a couple of months and then we end up back in this situation.....like a cycle....she keeps coming back to me, but I know deep down eventually she'll leave I guess its time to break it off for sure this time around and move on.....
     
  8. cfordhere

    cfordhere Guest

    Sounds like shes finally sending you the first signal, she likes you but as you said it may not be enough. you may want to consider letting her go theres always more out there just need to look youll find someone who you wont have to try so hard to please. then youll see the differance.
     
  9. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    Yea you need to be the one to break that off and just get out of it man. It will be better for the both of you. Get out and find another woman, there is plenty of them out there.
     
  10. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    sounds likes shes using some bs excuse to get rid of you. sorry bro.
     
  11. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    how do you show someone you really truely love them?
     
  12. BSapphire95T

    BSapphire95T Guest

    you really can't, for my fiancee its the little things like opening the doors, giving her my coat, letting her sleep in when she is tired, etc
     
  13. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    You can't open someones eyes to show them that you love them, they either see it or they don't.

    Sometimes they will see it after the break up, but don't take this as a sign that you two should get back together, because it usually ends up the same way, where there is a lack of "love being shown". "Can't see the forest through the trees" is a saying that applies here.

    In my experiance, girls like this, are emo girls and always will be, move on, before you get miserable, there will be someone out there that will treat you with the respect that you want/deserve, as long as you treat her the same way. ;)
     

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