SRS Show me how to open up. Please.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by jae, Aug 24, 2005.

  1. jae

    jae New Member

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    The type of person I am, I like to keep to myself, including my inner most thoughts. I don't like to share a lot of the things I think, just because they're MY thoughts. MINE.

    My fiance is continuously asking me to open up. She asks me to do this so frequently that is frusturating me beyond belief. We usually end up fighting about it.

    I just have a hard time telling her how I feel, what I think, what's on my mind. And a couple times when I did tell her my ideas, or my dreams, her response was a bullshit "Okay." The type of "Okay" that makes me think my ideas and dreams are ridiculous.

    Anyone know how the hell I can open up more? I know I hurt her when we fight about it. And I know communication is key to a lasting relationship.

    I am so frusturated with myself.
     
  2. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    EDIT: My own post sounded a bit full of shit this morning. I think the recommendation of others here are probably right.

    You're going to marry this woman soon....if you aren't already feeling like she's your best friend in the world and you can tell her anything without judgement, you're already labeling her your future ex-wife.

    I don't think there's any brain science to this....I didn't like talking about my personal shit till these past 2 years either. One day I just woke up and said "Fuck it, I'm going to talk to those people I think I can trust and we'll see what happens"

    So far I've found people are more helpful then I thought they were and it's changed my life here and there. You can do it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2005
  3. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    in all fairness bro, if you can't open up to your fiance.. you really should seek some sort of professional help.

    communication is the key and if you can't tell her how you feel about something... that may be the possible downfall.
     
  4. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    I have to quote Toller Cranston (Word Famous Men's Figure Skating Champion, Artist and Major Coolio Individual).."Sometimes I despair at the enormous inadequacy of words...how much more sure is a touch, a smile...even tears can be an answer to a question."
    To quote Eliza Doolittle (as she begged Prof. Henry Higgins) "...Don't just tell me you love me, show me!"
    Everyone is different, not everybody is vocal. Understanding and accepting that is very difficult for some people.
    Perhaps it is time for you to explain that you are not vocal...communication IS the key to a successful relationship, telling what is in one's heart or in their head can always lead to hurt and so we avoid talking. It then becomes an issue of trust. Perhaps you are shy. Perhaps you have been hurt. Perhaps one day you can sit down with your g/f and just unload everything and tell her all the things that you have always wanted to.
    It's your decision. We can't make it for you.
    Some people's "okay" can be translated into "WOW", everyone expresses themselves differently as well.
    You and your g/f have a lot of learning about one another to do.
    Let go of your frustration, it only messes up your mind.
     

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