Should you ever have a "talk" about the future?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by BiG_aL, Dec 2, 2007.

  1. BiG_aL

    BiG_aL New Member

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    I kinda wanna see where my g/f 1 year sees us going in the future, is this something you sit down and talk about, or just figure out as you go? Pick up stuff here and there?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Just go with the flow. Having a sit-down serious talk about your future is WAY TOO FAST. Neer rush a relationship. If you just have fun and do what you've been doing to make it this far you will eventually keep learning more about on another and learn what each other want from the future.
     
  3. BiG_aL

    BiG_aL New Member

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    so take for instance next summer, we've already had 1 summer apart but were thinking about working in the same area this summer (university students, she's from Montreal, I'm from NS), is this something I should bring up. I'm guessing yes, as I have to start looking for jobs etc.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well summer (if I'm correct) is like 6 months away....so you have plenty of time. Again, it's nothing you need to sit down and talk with her about. Now if the topic somehow arose then yes, that is your segway into maybe saying you would really enjoy seeng her this summer and working near each other.
     
  5. BiG_aL

    BiG_aL New Member

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    yeh, she always hints about me coming there to live, and work on their house on weekends (My past time/hobby is construction/woodworking etc), but I'm always to slow to play on that. My brain sometimes doesn't work as fast as it should lol
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well she's mentioned it, so obviously she has thought about it and is ok with the idea. I don't see the need to push the conversation further until you are maybe...3 months away from summer.
     
  7. BiG_aL

    BiG_aL New Member

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    well the kind of jobs I'd be going for have application dates that are 4plus months out.. actually I may even be screwed at this point I dunno. I could always get a construct job or something I guess
     
  8. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I would just bring it up in casual conversation.. Usually that will turn into an discussion and each of you expressing what you want/feel about the future.

    Having a serious and dedicated sitdown about it would be kinda odd though.
     
  9. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

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    I would casually bring it up and gauge how deep to go into it with how shes reacting. You don't want to push it super fast. There is nothing wrong with panning though. As long as you guys are both stable in your relationship I can't see just discussing ideas being a huge deal. You don't have to make anything firm out of it. Just talk.
     
  10. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I always have a "talk" about the future with my SO's so they know where I stand in life.

    Frankly, I date for a long term/marriage/life relationship. So I don't want to waste my time with someone if we aren't on the same page or we don't have common interests as far as our future's are concerned.

    I think it's beneficial if couples have that talk. Sure people may change their minds over time, but it's best to get a feel out for their thoughts in the beginning of a relationship if you are that type of person that has plans.
     
  11. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I would since you need to figure out what you'll be doing over the summer. Just mention that you were trying to decide where to work this summer and see where the convo goes from there.
     
  12. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    At 1 year it is fair to talk about that. You should know first of all: Where do YOU want it to go? 1/year is about that break it or buy it time. You gotta know where you see her in your life. If you love her, shes the one, move forward, else abort.

    Once YOU know. then find out what she wants. Dont force it; if you Really want to talk about it. Bring it up then drop it. Dont ask for answers just say "hey I want you to think about where you see us in the future and I am going to ask you again in a week or so to get your answer"

    This way you dont put her on the spot. This way she can think out her answer and figure out what SHE wants instead of just giving an answer that would please you.
     
  13. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    .

    Me too. I like knowing we're on the same page.
     
  14. ever absurd

    ever absurd New Member

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    I personally hate talking about the future. I just don't like looking too far ahead, and developing expectations. Having specific expectations for the future doesn't seem like a good idea to me. If it doesn't turn out well I'll just be disappointed.
     
  15. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    I agree with the first part, but for the bolded part I'd say that odds are a girl who has been in a serious relationship for 1 year has already thought about those things already.

    If you wanted to play it safe, you could bring up what you need to talk to her about when you are laying with her (I would not tell her some stupid shit like 'at 8:00 P.M. on Friday night you and I are going to sit down at X location and talk about X subject) and feel her out. Watch her expression's and body language, and listen to her tone. You'll know in an instant if she isn't ok talking about it, and that's when you can say "Listen, I didn't mean to put you on the spot and place you in an awkward position. However, this topic is important to me. If you would like some time to think about it, that's perfectly fine." Then you can tickle her and give her a kiss and say somethin about getting back to the important snuggle session that you were just having.
     
  16. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Newsflash: No one likes having their expectations broken.

    Just sounds like you are weak. :hs:
     
  17. ever absurd

    ever absurd New Member

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    Probably.
     
  18. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    Yea but at the same time she not be prepared to answer. That is why I had framed it that way.
     
  19. BiG_aL

    BiG_aL New Member

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    yeh, it'd be more something brought up during cuddle time, not like a planned out meeting lol
     
  20. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    That's her job, you as the man, are there to enjoy your time, nothing more, nothing less.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Excellent advice. As a man you shouldn't have any feelings whatsoever, and you certainly should've verbalize them.
     
  22. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    :rofl:
     
  23. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    Damn right.
     
  24. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :ugh:
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    you're getting just as bad as ware_4u was

    Both partners need to be active in the relationship.

    You know, what, screw this:

    IL+1

    To the Op.

    Yes, you should talk about it, but you don't have to do it yet. Wait til the time gets closer, and don't have a conversation about only that. Work it into another casual conversation.
     

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