Should I try again?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by TennisMenace, Mar 20, 2007.

  1. TennisMenace

    TennisMenace Finding Beauty in the Dissonance OT Supporter

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    So there's a girl that works at a local restaurant that I'm interested in. I made a thread about it back in November:

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2889241

    I psyched myself out about it for a couple months like I usually do without actually doing anything... last week of January I finally got the balls to ask her out... As we were leaving I went up to her and asked if she was interested in getting lunch/coffee that weekend. I was happy with her initial reaction, she seemed genuinely interested. I had intentions to set up a specific date on the spot there but she actually took the initiative and suggested a particular starbucks at 3 that coming saturday. I asked for her number and she gave it to me. I told her I'd call to confirm later in the week (this was all on wednesday).

    Friday night I tried calling her and didnt get an answer... I decided to leave a message saying no need to call me back or anything, see you tomorrow etc.

    Saturday I meet her for coffee. I had intended to pay for her drink but she was in front of me in line and had ordered and already had her money out to hand to the cashier while I was still looking at the menuboard... oops. So we chat, nice simple get-to-know-you conversation about family/hobbies/etc. End up talking for an hour and a half. Pretty easy flowing conversation. I find out that she has a really busy life... has her own consulting business, works at the restaurant part-time to help out (her parents own it), does lots of volunteer work, etc etc. At one point she brings up my phone number (I have an out of state cell phone # from college that I never bothered to change), so I know she got my message from friday, and has my cell # from caller ID or whatever. After chatting awhile she tells me her friend is moving into a new apt that day and she was gonna go see how it was going, etc so we leave. I didn't really have a plan for making a 2nd date on the fly so we just kinda left. I thought it was a nice first date, no amazing fireworks or anything necessarily, but got to know her etc.

    On tuesday night I tried calling to ask her out the next weekend. Not only did she not answer, but her voicemail box was full, so I couldn't leave a message ("should" you leave a message in this situation? :dunno: )... only called the one time.

    The next day we went to the restaurant for lunch like usual and I saw her there... I mentioned that I had tried to call and that she's too popular and needs to clear her voicemail box (playfully)... I told her I'd call her later in the week and she said ok.

    Thursday night I tried calling again... again she didn't answer, but this time I could at least leave a message. I left a short, simple message asking her to call me back when she gets the chance.

    Long story short, she never called me back. I had to leave town on short notice for 2 weeks for work right after that. Then when I got back, we randomly didn't go back to that restaurant for a couple weeks straight. So a month+ went by without me seeing or talking to her.

    Last week we went there for lunch and I decided to be friendly and see how it went. She initiated a brief small talk... As we were leaving, she was busy so I didn't try to talk to her more.

    heh well I wrote a novel... clearly I'm overanalyzing this (like always)... Basically, is her not calling me back a clear sign that she's not interested? Should I try asking this girl out again or just move on?
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2007
  2. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    when they're that flaky and never call you back it's a fair chance that they're not interested.

    i have too much pride to badger a woman. persistence probably does pay off but fuck that. if she doesn't return calls after 2 attempts then it's time to move on.
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Yep. If she wants you, she'll call you.
     
  4. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    It's not unusual for a girl not to return a call for a few days. The female DNA prevents them from returning a phone call quickly. But a month is inexcusable. And even more inexcusable is her not acknowledging that she hasn't called.

    I wouldn't call again. If you do, she'll lose all respect for you. Worse, you'll lose respect for yourself.

    Just play it cool when you see her at the restaurant and look for signs of interest from her. In the meantime, since you work at a restaurant, why not flirt with other women?!
     
  5. GanglyGoodness

    GanglyGoodness .

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    If she did not call after you had mentioned to her that you tried calling her, then she is not interested. Sorry man.
     
  6. islanderman7

    islanderman7 New Member

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    dont waste your time
     
  7. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    stop thinking this much. deep down you know she isnt interested
     
  8. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Yeah she's not interested, toss the number and move on.
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    You did everything you were supposed to do.

    Good job.

    She's not interested.

    Her loss. Next.

    Meet some new girls and start the process anew.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I really don't see the point of you trying to go out of your way to contact her again. She's unfortunately shared her level of interest in you by not answering or calling you back that many times and for this long.
     
  11. TennisMenace

    TennisMenace Finding Beauty in the Dissonance OT Supporter

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    I work in an engineering office; there are no young women in my workplace at all... I definitely don't put myself into situations to meet women nearly enough in my social life, and unfortunately I live in a Navy town where there aren't too many to go around anyways.

    I guess that's why I'm having trouble just dropping this girl and moving on... That was my first date (if you even wanna call it that) in almost 2 years. We seemed to have alot of similar interests etc etc. I wanna ask her out again but if she's not interested I don't wanna turn in to that clingy guy that makes her uncomfortable every time we come in to the restaurant.

    I guess I really just need to work on being more outgoing and talking to more girls in general (easier said than done :hs: )
     
  12. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    Oh sorry. I thought you worked at the restaurant with her.

    And sorry for the disappointment. I certainly know how it feels.
     
  13. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Don't, she's clearly showing you that she's not interested. The more you try to chase her, the farther she's going to want to run away from you. You come off as kinda desperate in this post so that may be why she didn't want to see you again :dunno:
     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Why do you want to reward her low interest in you with a date? What has she done to earn it?

    She's blown you off. You should do the same to her.

    You are chasing this girl. What happens when you chase something? That's right, it runs away.

    It is extremely difficult to succeed with women when you are chasing them.

    Generally the only girls you can get by chasing are crazy so no one wants them, or they want to trap you into a one-sided relationship where they have all the power.

    Why do you want to take a woman who has low interest in you on a date?

    She's not going to come right out and say that she doesn't want you. Women usually aren't direct in that way. Plus she's already told you with her actions. You have all the information that you need.

    edit: I missed midgetized post where she basically said the same. Generally women give terrible advice, but she is dead-on in this case.
     

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