Should I say something to my friend?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ww_Crimson, Mar 24, 2008.

  1. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    My best friend dated a girl for about 10 months.. for the past two months he's been telling me he's not sure that he still wants to be in a relationship with her.. He would constantly say how much he loves her but he just wants to be single for a while. I told him to break up with her if that's how he feels.. He danced around it for about 2 months but finally broke up with her. He told her how he was feeling right off the bat so it wasn't completely unexpected.. The girl he dated is actually also a pretty good friend of mine....

    Now, 4 days after breaking up with her, he hooks up with this other girl we know / work with. I feel like he never gave a shit about the chick he dated before if he's able to drop a 10 month relationship in 4 days. Also, the girl he hooked up with is a few "ranks" below him at work and I'm afraid it will cause a conflict. I'm his boss and our company policy is that dating in the work place isn't allowed unless the person is of the same title/position as you. He already had an issue in the past dating a girl that worked with us and she had to quit because of it. I can't really afford to lose another manager (the girl he just hooked up with) because of his lust..

    As a friend I think it's kind of disrespectful how fast he moved on, but he's my best friend and the girl he dumped and I aren't nearly as close so I can handle it.

    As his boss the last thing I need is to lose another employee because of his complete disregard for company policy.



    I'm definitely going to confront him on the work front, but should I say something about how I feel for him moving on so quickly?
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I wouldn't. He's probably going to be annoyed by the work issue (but it is completely valid, prevents conflicts of interest), and regardless, he'll do what he wants no matter what you say.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Get over the friendship aspect and what he did to that girl. Though she was nice and didn't deserve that treatement that's way beyond your business...You can however talk to him maturely about how he needs to stay professional if he's going to be hooking up with this work chick.

    Bring up the problems he I guess had in the past with another female co-worker and make it known that if he fucks up he's out. It'll be awkward but it has to be said. Honestly man, I would love to say something to him about his treatment of his ex but it's still not your place. It'll only create bad vibes between you two.
     
  4. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    I'm confused as to what you would tell him about moving on to quickly. He did the right thing by breaking up with his partner before seeing the other woman. He lost interest in your other friend long before they formally ended the relationship.
     
  5. owenstar

    owenstar New Member

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    He is your best friend? Then fuckin shoot him straight about everything...including his last girlfriend...

    Let him know his shit puts you in a bad spot....and that you always have his back...but as friends he shouldn't do it to ya twice...

    We are men...if he gets pissed he will get over it...
     
  6. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Going to go with Owen's advice. He's my best friend and we've always told each other how we felt about each other's decisions whether we agreed with them or not. I'll support him in the fullest if he decides to start dating this girl as long it doesn't become known in the workplace and doesn't cause any issues.

    I basically spent 2 months counseling him on how to handle his relationship since he was "so in love" with his now ex-girlfriend and didn't want to break up with her. I told him I thought he was just in love with the steady sex and he didn't believe me, but I think he'll see I was right now.
     
  7. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    If you are a good boss you wouldn't let a friendship stay on the way of you doing your responsibilities asa a boss. If you have a non dating policy for certain cases and ranks you should enforce this policy equaly to all your employees and not excuse someones breach of the company policy just because they are your best friend outside work. If you do that you can get into some pretty messy situation where your employees would either start disregarding the company policies or raise the issue why certain people are allowed to do whatever they want and others are not.
     
  8. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I agree.. Talked to him and he said it definitely won't develop into a relationship or go any further than it has.. He's spoken with the girl as well.
     
  9. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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  10. Drunklands

    Drunklands New Member

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    Seemed like you need to have 2 separate conversations with him - one as his best friend and one as his boss - but you seem to have everything straightened out now.
    :)
     
  11. owenstar

    owenstar New Member

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    I dont know what kinda best friends you guys have...but I would murder someone for my best friend...job/career be damned....

    With rank comes privilages
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    but also, with rank comes responsibility.
     
  13. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    My job is one of the most important things in the world to me right now.

    It's the single most important thing to him in his life.


    Neither of us would seriously jeopardize our job or friendship for one or the other. Keeps us level headed and civil.
     

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