should I not date this girl / friend v. just ended 6 year relationship?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by black jesus, Oct 12, 2005.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I've known this girl for 6 years, and she just split up with the BF about 4 months ago. We've been hanging out a bit. I've been single 4.5 years now. I might be moving away as soon as I find a job.

    We had a date last week, that turned into a physical relationship. We really clicked. We went out again last night (she called to schedule the date), and it was really great, good physical interaction (she initiated some touching). We got back to the house, and were kissing, when i think she freaked out. She asked if I "came over here for this." We talked and I assured her that I was sympathetic to her sittuation, though I was attracted to her, and did not expect a relationship to come out of this. She then commented that she should be dating multiple people, but she is not. When we awoke, I got up, gave her a kiss, and sayed goodbye.

    In most sittuations this would be a green light, but I can't start a relationship like this, and I don't think she even would becaus eshe is so fresh out of it.

    Do I discuss the sittuation further, break it off, or just keep it on her terms? I really do care alot about this girl, and I want whats best for her. If we start a relationship, I won't relocate. It would almost be too passionate of a relationship to be healthy. I know it will be instantaneous love, but there is no sense in starting a relationship like this, if she is mentally in a place to have a successful one.
     
  2. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    I dont knwo bro. There are always exceptions to the rule. however, you seem to be the rebound guy.

    edit- If u really like her. Go for it. You only live once.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2005
  3. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    If we both notice that we are getting too close, I think we will both back off. Do you think there is a way to "play your cards right" with this one, or should I just meet up wtih her like once a month until I have a better chance of locking this shit up?
     
  4. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Well you see thast the problem. She may get really close because she needs healing. And as result you will get really close to her and fall for her. But when she heals and no longer needs you, its gonna crush you.
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I can stay ahead of that. I've been single for a really long time, leathered, and much like heat I firmly believe, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." I've learned to care about myself first, and whats best for the rest of my life.
     
  6. jhondatech

    jhondatech New Member

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    It sounds like your looking for trouble down the road. You should make her make sure that she has enough time to figure out all of her feelings right now. Then when shes sure then go on with it. Maybe only seeing her once or twice a month may be good for the both of you.

    jw
     
  7. dscallaway69

    dscallaway69 New Member

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    I say go for it. If not there is going to be another guy come along who will and you will have missed your chance.
     
  8. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Talk to her about it
     
  9. SeaMack99

    SeaMack99 OT Supporter

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    I say go for it.

    As long as she is in control of how fast the relationship goes and is aware of whats going on its all good. Not everyone can go from fling to fling. Some need security. This is where you step in if I was in your situation I would go for it.
     
  10. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Yeah but I think back to where I was when I split up with my girl 4 years ago...and I needed these 4 years to define myself.


    I want this girl bad, but not a the cost of her own personal integrity.
     
  11. rhiannon

    rhiannon New Member

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    :bigthumb: thank you 4 being you!
     
  12. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Ah memories:) I have quoted that exact line and lived by it for may yrs. Altough my situation was a bit different. Because of some legal problems, I had a back pack w/ my Mexican passport ( that has a different last name than my American passport:naughty: ), 1K cash and a change of clothes in my trunk at all times. But anyways....

    Let me just say this. When I stopped thinking like that. I had some of my most memorable experiences love wise. But I also felt pain unlike anything I had expirienced when the relatinship ended. Bu if I had to do it all over again, I would do it w/o blinking.
     
  13. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    So what do I fucking do? How do I stay strong, or do I paly safe. Where dop you put the money, in a sense? Do I take teh passion, the love, the happiness...or do I play it smart, and look for the long run? We talked again tonight, and danced arround the subject. We talked "arround" how we are dating.

    I think I am going to cook for her this week ( I work with a 5 sta chef, so it totally unfair). Man, I'm fighting love, though it sat my door, because I want to be smart, and be in love simutaneously.



    Jesus fucking christ this is so romantic.
     
  14. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    I dont know what to tell you. Love is crazy, but thats half the fun. play the phebee game with a friend. That seems to work.
     
  15. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    QFT

    :bowdown:

    if they were together for a long time... you will def be the rebound guy. and she will more than likely test the water with the ex at least once before shes able to move one
     
  16. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    nah, this girl is smarter than that. We talked again tonight. I don't really know where this is going, but it wont' stop getting more and more romantic.
     
  17. SeaMack99

    SeaMack99 OT Supporter

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    As long as you guys are talking its all good.
    Unfortunatlly its hard to beat history
     

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