SRS Should I go to college with my girlfriend or not?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ridonkulous1, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    I know all the horror stories from my parents and from friends and from everybody about relationships going into college. But, I'm still not sure about what I should do.
     
  2. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    I got into Northwestern (in Chicago) with a 120,000 dollar scholarship, Oxy (LA) with a 130,000 dollar scholarship and USC (financial aid pending). My girlfriend is going to school at Pepperdine (LA). We've been through a lot together and I know that I love her without reservation. But, I'm having trouble deciding if I should stick with her and my best friends in California or go to Northwestern and start over. All advice welcome. Thank you
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    It depends. Is it a college you want to go to, and your gf just happens to be going there?

    Or would you simply be going to the college because she's going to that particular one?

    Short answer: Don't base your life around someone else. Base your life around YOU.

    You would be extremely foolish to give up scholarships at good schools to go to a school with no scholarship, just to be with your gf.
     
  4. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    yeah. Occidental was always my first choice when I was considering schools. But, it's really hard to turn down a school like Northwestern when they make it economically possible. My girlfriend and I did not talk to each other at all when we were applying to schools (to prevent the whole basing life on other people thingg) and it just so happens that our first choices were 15 miles apart. But, now I'm having second thoughts. I love her so much but I don't know if I'll get another chance like Northwestern.
     
  5. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    No.

    I'm starting to learn that college and significant others don't mix. Trying to plan your life around someone else's just isn't worth it. You'll end up losing yourself in the process and regretting it.

    If it's meant to work out, it will.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    to be perfectly honest...the good school and scholarship should take priority.

    You could go to the same school as her, but if you broke up (and many many couples from high school break up once college comes around), you'd be kicking yourself.
     
  7. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    assuming I go to Northwestern, should I try to keep the relationship going (long distance) or just call it quits? God, it sucks even typing that
     
  8. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Trust me though, you'll meet someone in college and they'll blow your mind and you'll want to plan your life around them. ;)

    Stop holding out on high school fantasies.
     
  9. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Keep it casual. It CAN work, but college can change people for the good or bad...

    Go where YOU want to go.. If she's your destiny, it will work. And yea, that sounded lame but it's true.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    break it off cleanly. One less stress to deal with.
     
  11. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    remember if you are in an LDR that means that you will both be cheating on each other. *gasp*

    just learn to not worry about it and never talk about it.
     
  12. stormywaters

    stormywaters Tornadoes are just wind...

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    I also agree that you should go where the money is and when YOU want to go. BUT, I go to school with my boyfriend. We just happened to transfer to the same school because we both changed our majors. Before being together for this past year in school we had a long distance relationship last year. It can work, you just need to do what feels right for you.

    (no we don't live together, we have different majors so we are not in classes together and we have separate jobs)
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You hear the horror stories and scoldings for a reason.

    Go to college where YOU truly want to go to college. Not just the college your girlfriend is going to. If your relationship is strong then you can survive without each other at the same school. If it is not strong you will eventually move on from one another and actually grow up as an independent person.
     
  14. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    You know, SOME HIGH SCHOOL RELATIONSHIPS DO WORK TOO

    since the views here are overwhelmingly negative on that subject... i gotta stick up for that

    Its hard, women want to go out and slut around, guys want to be pimips, wwhatever. it happens
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hsugh: Sure they do. I think most of us are trying to point out to the OP that you should just never choose where you go to college based on the fact that your high school SO is going there.
     
  16. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    if its a college u want to go to sure if not then no
     
  17. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    my best friend in high school went to college down the street. since she still had all of us near her, she didnt have to make an effort to get to know a lot of people at her school because she already had her friends around. i think she missed out on some great friendships and experiences by having us here as a crutch. everyone needs to experience moving away and being on their own at some point.

    and you should pick the school that is best for you because of $ and acedemics. the girlfriend should never be a deciding factor. you can try to make it work long distance, but i will tell you from experience, long distance is horrible, and we were much closer than a 5 hour plane ride away. dont let missing her and wondering what she is doing in LA distract you from meeting new people and enjoying everything chicago has to offer
     
  18. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    hey guys thanks so much for all your feedback. This Sunday I fly out to Chicago to check out Northwestern and then to Cali to look at Oxy and USC. I'm really excited because I feel like the visit is the most important part in choosing a school. If I choose to go to Cali, it will not be because my girlfriends is there (at least that's what I tell myself, but who knows if that's really the case). I mean, I try to think that, even if I do go to Cali it's not like I'm making a lifelong commitment to this relationship... I'm just going to school in California, no big deal.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If you go to the same state as her that is not bad, it's if you choose to go all the way there to the same school she is attending...because she's there that is a bad idea.

    But good luck. Considering you got accepted into those 3 pretty great school you will learn a lot just by visiting them and their cities. Choose the one that you think best fits your needs. Northwestern is an amazing school, not to mention that Chicago is extremely awesome. However, I am originaly from SoCal and USC is not only in one of the coolest areas filled with all sorts of things to do...but the name alone can get you places (same with Northwestern).

    Just out of curiosity, where do you live now? What school is your girlfriend going to for sure?
     
  20. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    I live in Seattle, I have my whole life. I'm really excited to get out of town so I barely even considered in state schools. It's been a dream of mine for a long time to go to LA for college, but, same with Northwestern. She is for sure going to Pepperdine, which is about 35 minutes from Occidental and about 25 minutes from USC (if my LA friends and mapquest aren't mistaken). I got into the Communications school at both USC and Northwestern (which are like TOPS in that field). But, after being Editor in Chief of my school's paper and studying journalism at Brown I kinda feel like I want a liberal arts education (which is where Occidental comes into play) first before I go into a pre professional program like Annenberg at USC or the School of Comm at Northwestern. I also got into NYU but I'm not considering it for undergrad.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wow :bigthumb: Good for you man. I was a Communications major and yes, Northwestern and USC are both excellent for that. In fact, both are in cities that are excellent for that field as well. No matter where you choose you are in for a great great adventure!
     
  22. HSTexan

    HSTexan Active Member

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    If the college you want to go to is the same as she does, then why not. Don't go just because she is there. My best friend did this and ended up transferring back after one year, even though they were still together. Naturally they broke up halfway through the next year, but he was much happier he transferred.

    Also, go to a good school in what you want to study. He was a business major at a liberal arts school
     
  23. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

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    NO or YES wont make a difference.
    if you are in love with her, and the college you guys chose is decent, then go for it. if you stopped liking her, which you prolly will, or the other way around, you guys will break up. remember, college break ups arent as painful.
     
  24. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    well at least not with that decision, but you should be willing to move if you are with the person you plan to marry (and they move for a job or something)
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well yeah...but that's far from the situation of this 18 year old kid posting.

    Either way, I think he gets it now and will choose wisely (for himself).
     

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