Should I go for my friend who has a BF?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CrxRacer619, Dec 19, 2004.

  1. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    yea, some crazy shit. I've been friends with this chick from HS for quite some time. lately we've been closer than ever. but see.. we're friends. she's been with her BF for about 9 months. she'll tell me shit that bugs her about him and i'm the shoulder for her to lean on. they don't even see each other much. she said if she's lucky maybe 3 times a week. usually just once or twice though. shit, i see her more than that. damn. kinda falling for this one. i can make her laugh easy and have been there to help her out with shit. i asked her to go chill with me tomorrow for Christmas shopping (tomorrow is her birthday too so help on what to get her would be awesome).

    She agreed to go with me to the mall(s). She said before 8 though. obviously she's gonna see the bf after going shopping with me i assume.. She claims to be in love with this guy but i know it's not true. sometimes she'll tell me she debates whether she should be with him or not :rolleyes: . she has like no friends. she says she just has him.. she also admitted to being attached. but i know it's because he's all she has and she thinks she can't do any better. How can I get these two to break up without being fucked up? a friend of mine said to use the negative shit she tells me about her bf to my advantage and talk shit about that but i dunno. please help, thanks. :bigthumb:
     
  2. b_real

    b_real OT Supporter

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    i've been there... there is no way you can win. if she dumps the other guy for you, that is one less guy she is getting attention from. if you start talking about all the negative things about her bf you will just look bad for talking shit... and if she does happen to break up with him.. she will use you as a shoulder to cry on then proceed to hook with someone else.. you can't win
     
  3. rocknrolla

    rocknrolla New Member

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    you shouldnt be a dick about it.
    if she wanted to break up with him and go out with you she would
    theres nothin you can do. besides contiune to be a girlfriend for her
     
  4. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    Women love having something to bitch about. It makes them feel popular because if she had no complaints then she'd have less to discuss with you, and no reason to use you as a cuddle bitch.

    Your role is pretty clearly defined, it's unlikely you'd make the leap. Because after that, who would she bitch about you to?
     
  5. xxxgames12

    xxxgames12 Guest

    LOL...for a minute I tought you were a lesbian lol, sorry.

    Ok; I would suggest maybe just leaving them be until they break it off themselves. She might get really mad at you if you try to break them up/off so that might not go too well.
     
  6. xxxgames12

    xxxgames12 Guest

    yea- that's good avice right there :bowdown:
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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  8. whirleywoo

    whirleywoo Guest

    you should never interfere with anyone who has a boyfriend/girlfriend unless the guy/girl is complete dick/bitch and really hurting the person you want to be with. everyone complains about the person they're with sometimes, and maybe even all the time, it doesnt mean they're not happy or don't want to be with them. no one's perfect and everyone has their own idea of the perfect guy or girl, so no matter what they're gonna complain about them. maybe let her know you like her (still kinda iffy) but don't do anything else, just try & continue acting like the friend you've been. girls like having someone to complain to, and sometimes it results in that friend liking them (i don't really understand why if all we do is complain to them..) but it just ends up complicating stuff more. so if you realllly like her, tell her but leave it at that, if she wants to, she'll dump him & go for you, otherwise you'll just stay friends and you'll know that despite all of her complaining, she really does care about him.
     
  9. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    update:


    first off, i'm pretty sure she is still going out with that dude but then again things could of changed since then.

    during the past month, i've called her a few times (maybe like 3 times) and no reply.. so i decided fuck it. i'll move along, no biggie.

    a few days ago, i decide to call her up out of the blue. keep in mind this is after several weeks of nothing. i get her voicemail and proceed to leave a quick message asking if there was anything wrong. within a hour, she calls back, i couldn't pick up but she leaves like a 2 min. message.

    it goes something like this:
    "Hey _____, I got your message... i'm sorry i meant to call you in.. the past weeks. it's just i've been going to school 3 times a weeks and the other 4 days i work from morning to night. i haven't had any time off.. and the only time available is like after 8 or 9pm.

    but i don't know if you wanna go out this... well the only day i can go out is sun. night. so... i don't know know if you wanna go out but... i'm uhh open sunday night.. after say around 7 or so... but i hope i'll have more time off soon due to intersession classes. maybe in early feb.. so there should be more time but i dunno since you work..

    (then some random rambling) blah blah blah..

    bye, _____. I hope you aren't thinking anything bad. it's not like i don't wanna be your friend (giggle) or anything like that. i haven't been talking to anyone at all. so just call me back, ok? i'll try to get back to you. bye, _____..... oh, Goodnight! bye..."

    just keep in mind i never brought up going out sometime but i think she might just be trying to be nice due to not keeping in touch. other people say she was basically asking me out for sun. night. i'm just wondering if she's busy every day but is free on one particular night, why is she not with the bf? sounds like there is no time for him.
     
  10. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    Werd... you're nothing but a doormat and probably will never be more.
     
  11. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    i'm kinda letting her decide what she wants to do since she brought up hanging out tomorrow. but just in case she wants me to decide.. i was thinking dinner and a movie? that coo?

    also, this might seem dumb but was also wondering if a single stem rose was going overboard. i don't want to freak her out but every girl friend/acquaintance i know said a single rose would be nice, thoughtful, cool, etc. with dudes, it was a 50/50. some say no, some say go for it.

    personally, i think it might be a little too strong for first get together/date but then again i think she might like it so.. ehh. :greddy:
     
  12. Protius-X

    Protius-X Guest

    Don't bother, the closer she gets to you, the more she'll relise how much she loves her boyfriend. Trust me been in a situation like this myself. Didn't know the chick as long but she wasn't with her boyfriend as long but basically the same.
     
  13. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    Yeah, seriously man, if she wants you. Let her make her move, all your in for is heartbreak right now. You're a doormat. You're like a girl that's a boy, I.E. one that listens but isn't as opinionated and back stabbing as a girl. She'll just use you or maybe cheat on you. YOu sound like a nice guy, but even planning out a date and certainly getting a rose in this situation is WAY overboard.
     
  14. you need a swift kick in the testicles for even considering it
     
  15. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

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    No fucking way you should try it. Let them work out their problems. If she feels like giving you a try, she will.
     
  16. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    True story!

    Myself, been there done that, moved on, don't try the ladder jump, you'll get lost in the abyss....

    No she wasn't asking you on a date, she was wanting to get together to bitch about her lack of time/friends, and asking why there aren't more friends guys in her life, when she looks you right in the eye and doesn't see the guy she has (probably) always wanted right in front of her, start watching some '80s teen love movies, anything that has Molly ringwald in it will show your your place, I know it sucks, I'm living in teh same place. :sadwavey:
     

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