SRS Should I follow through or just leave ?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Rodthrower18, Jul 4, 2005.

  1. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    Well, the girl I'm in love with right now has been a friend for a good while. Lately(over the last couple of months) we've been getting closer and closer and the pet names and all of the other stuff has increased by 10 fold, until a couple of weeks ago she told me she loves me(great huh?) but it sounded like it was still in that friend kind of way, but recently over the last few days shes said it more frequently and it truly sounds like the kind of love I would love from her, and of course I say it back bc I do love her. Im still afraid of this becoming a "I only meant it as friends" scenario. To make matters worse shes always been unappreciated by all of the guys that shes ever dated, and I HATE that with a passion bc shes the most supportive, enthusiastic, affectionate girl Ive ever known in my entire life. Over the course of these last couple of months Ive been constantly telling and showing her through my own actions that she deserves the best and that shes beautiful in more ways than JUST the physical which is what all of these guys focus on. Shes truly amazing , she holds a 3.9 GPA she can speak 4 different languages fluently she won the Girl scout eq. of the Eagle scout badge etc. She's my angel, and just thinking about her makes my shit hole of a life bearable and it becomes perfect when im with her. I dont want it to end up as us being friends only after the stuff we've gone through and done together but I almost know it will(or at least thats what that small voice says , you know the one that analyzes everything past the surface and the first couple of layers). The problem is im prepared to sacrifice my feelings so long as she finally learns/understands that she truly does deserve the best. I guess I really didnt have much of a question after all I just needed to get it out. Damn this really frickin hurts tho, I could see myself being happy with her more so than ive ever been b4 but i guess thats life( but why does it have to hurt so much? and why wont it let me finally be happy?), no i havent discussed any of this with her bc im scared that my biggest fear will come true and ill be loveless again, so im just sitting here agonizing over it.
     
  2. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    next time she says "i love you" just drop the most intense kiss you can possibly muster up on her. the answer to all of your questions will be right there.
     
  3. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    Tell her how you truly feel. If she feels the same then she will respond, I would agree with Bleed about giving her that kiss but some girls don't respond to well to that level of aggresiveness, Instead take her hand in yours and kiss the back of her hand and tell her how you feel.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Well if this is all true with the pet names and intimate moments and blah blah, then I think you should just lean over and kiss her. Do it. The very next time you see her.

    I don't care if you don't think it's the "right moment" or whatever. For you, the right moment will be about a year past when it's actually been the right moment. All the stuff you wrote is basically your own fear and doubt speaking out.

    Go for it. Put your arm around and kiss her once. Once is not offensive, given what you two are ALREADY doing. And once will tell you everything you need to know.

    Do it.

    PS. 3.9gpa, eagle scout, whatever...it's nice but irrelevant to the question of attraction. Just like if you were all these things, or none of these things. Attraction isn't measured by these markers.

    Like I said. Kiss her. Kiss her once. Do it.
     
  5. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    :) What a lovely answer. ~sigh~
    Right on.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Look if you don't shoot you'll always miss right? Just give it a try, even if you end up in the friends zone kind of thing , its worse if you didn't attempt to make something beautifull of it. She says she loves you man, i would get into a relationship with her.
     
  7. :werd:
     
  8. A kiss can change everything for a woman. Even if she does only consider you a friend right now, a kiss would seriously sway her to reconsider quickly -- as long as it's a good one -- whether she's put you into the right box. ;)
     
  9. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    VERY true. The kiss will tell you EVERYTHING. Take a risk, try it.

    HE who lives without risks, never truly lives. Forgot who said that but I love it ;)
     
  10. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    Thx everyone, well a follow up is in order. Yesterday I made her favorite meal and took it to her at work with 2 of the BEST smelling white roses(another fav) ever. I spen an inordinate ammount of time preparing for it lol I was polishing my dress shoes at 5:45 in the morning, pressed slacks who knows how many times , same goes for the shirt, I wore the clothes for the extra confidence I get when I'm in my professional gear. So yea I cook everything and get it all wrapped up and im off to see her. Well I get there and walk in to do some recon to see if she was out front(she wasnt) so i made small talk with the receptionist(who oddly kept flirtin with me which couldve been torublesome) and after God knows how long, in comes my leading lady. The shock of me in my pro gear was nice, lots of smiles big hug etc. Then came the food, and a comment of "How do you not have a gf? I just dont understand it" with another couple of hugs and a quivering lip and misty eyes, and lastly the Roses which were met with awwwwws and more hugs and gobstopper tears in the ducts fighting to get out. Needless to say it all went over very well, I do require a translation of the "how can u not ..." thing once I get a response on this I'll give one last small miniscule detail that i have left out of the story.
     
  11. Make your move. Tell her you're interested in her romantically. Do it!
     
  12. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    Well , that small minisucle detail that i left out is that SHE pulled ME in for a kiss b4 i left lol, we see each other again tonight, and i CANT WAIT im so damned ecstatic ive got a smile that stretches coast to coast.
     
  13. Fuckin A...now that's some shit right there. :bigthumb:
     
  14. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    Lay pipe in her tonight. It will be glorious.

















    J/K congrats. :bigthumb:
     
  15. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's a done deal.
     
  16. Achmiel

    Achmiel Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshi

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    :bowdown:

    You did good!
     
  17. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    For the first time ever I really did do good. Im so damned happy right now, pissed that her boss being the mean, ugly bitch she is worked her so much today that i really didnt get to see her, BUT tomm is her day off *does happy dance flip run around the world routine*. THx for all the replies everyone +1 success story fpr the asylum and the first ever for me WOOT.
     
  18. Now my success story is next. I've got the health part down - that's on an upswing and I'm really doing well. Now I just have to patiently wait for that diamond to show up. :o
     
  19. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    G luck hope it works out for ya.
     
  20. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    Should It follow through or just leave ? v. UPDATE

    Ok im sry but WTF is wrong with you GODDAMNED WOMEN. I thought things were going good and shit well guess what everybody I was SORELY fucking mistaken. I love this girl to pieces and would u like to know part of the subj of our last convo ? HER DATE TO A FUCKING WEDDING, o btw NOT ME. FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING A-Z. To add insult to iunjury was supposed to see her tonight but bc her friend cant go she all of a sudden wants to sleep, ITS 8 fucking O'Clock. GODDAMN, this is such fucking bullshit but i REALLY shouldve fucking known. There are no dateable girls in my fucking age range bc theyre all still playing catch up on the maturity train and this is PRIME example of that bullshit. Normally when im not angry and hurting im at least several yrs past most of my "peers" in the maturity game, you can believe me or you cant I really dont give 2 shits right now, bc i know wat i know. The bad part about this shit is that im stuck till these girls catch up cause older women right me off as being an actor just pretending and the young girls dont want me bc im not gonna cheat on them call them sluts and whores, treat them as such etc. I bet hardly any of this makes any sense due to the lack of punc. Im sry for that but this has just got me so fucking tweaked right now that punc is not big on my priority list. SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT yall. She was supposed to be the one to make me truly happy for the first time in a long long time. FUCK im hurting right now FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Will this bullshit ever end for me ???
    Edit: WHY did I have to be so fucking stupid? my uncle warned me about this shit, he told me not to treat her like that he fucking told me and wat did my dumbfuck self in al of my fucking wisdom do ? "Nah unc shes diff shes an old soul she knows how i feel, she UNDERSTANDS me since ive known her for so long b4 having feelings for her" with the usual reply of "ok young buck just be sure you know what you're doing" did I ? FUCK NO!!!! NEVER AGAIN will I do this shit or anything like it it ALWAYS fucking turns out this way, we'll date, or get close to it or watever but in the end Im ALWAYS a good friend that will eternally be cared for but nothing else. WHY do they always ADIMANTLY(sp?) proclaim that im am the greatest guy to them and theyve never met anyone like me and never will and wish there were mor elike me? WHY do they fucking say this? If ANY of that shit is true then WHY am i sitting here alone with NOONE that truly cares for me the way these girls claim to. IM SO SICK OF HEARING THAT SHIT THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH WRONG WITH ME BC IF THERE WASNT THEN ID BE HAPPY. Yes I know im taking this waayy too hard but this has always been my fucking fate, and PLZ dont give me that bullshit of "maybe you really are as great as they say but maybe theyre just not ready and are scared to be treated the way they claim to want" If thats the case why cant they put aside their IDIOTIC fears and fucking GO WITH IT and for once be happy with this guy that they admit does/can/will make them fucking happy? Are ppl really this fucking stupid???? GOD I want this to end, Ive found that NO ammount of prayer will fucking fix it either FUCKING A I gotta stop typing b4 this goes to a whole damned page by itself, sry everyone I shouldve never been so stupid to begin with and have hope in someone sry for troubling you all.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2005
  21. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    1) You shoulda kissed her several months ago. Right when the closeness started to happen. That woulda shown you what was up, and this could have been avoided. You've been communicating that you weren't interested this entire time by not doing so. What did you think would happen, that she'd give her vagina an anaesthetic and wait forever?

    2) Study and learn Ladder Theory. http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

    There's nothing wrong with this girl. There is something wrong in your approach. Like about 2 months of wrong action, with compounded daily interest. You should have figured out what her intentions were up front, and then proceeded however you chose, with that knowledge in hand.

    Learn from this. Cry a little, but then man up and don't fuck up again. This is all your fault. Its not hers. You got attached, you were too scared to find out her feelings until too late, and now you are hurt. Not her her her. YOU YOU YOU. You fucked up. Sorry, it sucks. We've all been there. Now quietly collect your dignity and deal with it.
     
  22. :werd: - Hindsight is a bitch, but it's true.
     
  23. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    Tis tru, I fucked up no doubt about it and nothin(including crying or lashing out like i did earlier) is gonna change that fact. The fact is it happened, it sux, it hurts alot, and it was my fault, now the ball is back in my court. Time for me to focus on my training now and leave the rest of this bullshit alone, more important shit for me to get taken care of than to play Mr. Lonlelyboy. Might not be the right way to go about it but my physical training right now is the only thing of any real importance to me.
     
  24. I think rather than being passive aggressive, I'd man up, pick up your balls off the floor, and let's talk about the real issue here. You had expectations. Some of them were reasonable, but - given your past with women, you're displacing a lot of that anger onto yourself and this girl.

    Be a man, sit down and communicate to her what you would like. Be specific, tell her you'd like to date, but that in the past you've had negative experiences and have been cautious. You must communicate, else you leave others in the air with assumptions and only hints about your agenda, needs, wants and motives. Don't punch a wall, or take your anger out at the gym.

    Tell her you're angry that she brought up the "other" date - and that you felt disrespected. Let her know that you felt that you two were just beginning a courtship. If she eludes to the kiss, or says "oh no, it didn't mean that" - then let her know you received go signals and felt you were clear for the green light, and that it seemed very obvious to you.

    The worst that can happen is you communicate your needs directly, and she says "No, not interested" -- that's the worst thing that can happen if you follow my advice.

    Now if you want to go ahead and do what you want to do -- you'll internalize that anger, blame yourself, hurt yourself in future relationships, and continue to act the same way, creating a pattern which will only end in futility, frustration, and anger.

    Don't be a pussy: Tell her how you feel, put the emotion in front of the right person, and don't be hostile. Don't expect anything, just express yourself honestly.
     
  25. tris

    tris New Member

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    You a soldja, then?
     

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