Should I bother holding onto her?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ndnxtc, Sep 21, 2009.

  1. ndnxtc

    ndnxtc New Member

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    SO is 27, I'm 22. I've only had one relationship in the past, towards the end of high school / first year of college for 1.5 years. We were good friends for about 2 years before we hooked up. We've been dating for ~6 months or so. Everything was great for the first 4 months but lately it has changed into arguing about (IMO) ridiculous shit.

    The other morning I woke up feeling like shit, couldn't sleep, so I got up, went to the bathroom, packed a :420: bowl and brought it back to bed to share with her. After that I figured I would head to the store and grab some stuff to make her some breakfast once she fell asleep to surprise her. In the meantime I had grabbed a blanket because it was smurfing cold in the apartment. Come back, :420:, and lounge around for a minute, and she starts complaining about me not being under the same blanket as her... this progresses into "you're so repulsed by the thought of being under the same blanket as me" :ugh::ugh: and eventually the "you don't want me anymore" blah blah blah. I reassured her this wasn't the case and that honestly I was planning on getting up and making breakfast for her - THIS turns into "oh of course that's a convenient defense" :squint:

    Finally I calm her down and everything's fine for the rest of the day until I'm getting ready to drive back to my place (2.5 hrs away). She asks me "do you want to break up?" WTF? She says she couldn't get me to look at her all day. While laying on the couch watching TV she would look into my eyes for a few seconds, so I would look back at her and smile. I would ask her if anything's wrong - she says "nothing :)" and smiles - so I assume nothing is wrong and we go about the day. Then as I'm about to leave she springs the "do you want to break up" on me. I say of course not... something is obviously still wrong from her silence so I ask her a few more times and she says nothings wrong, so I give her a kiss and an "I love you" (which wasn't returned for the first time ever, eventually I get one back when I get home) and I'm off on my drive as it's getting late.

    Today at work she sends me a text...
    Her: Would you want me to come out and see you if I took a week off of vacation, my computer is fucked and I can't do any work, but if not no big deal.
    Me: Sure that would be great, could you come out tomorrow though if you decide to?
    Her: y tomorrow
    Me: I don't know, I just have a lot of stuff on my mind and my brain is going at a million miles an hour. I'd just like a day by myself if that's OK
    Her: Obviously you have something going on, I won't come out at all this week. If you want to break up just say it already

    According to her friends that have known her longer than I have, she tends to be with a guy for a while and seem to get tired of them after a while and moves on. I don't want to be that "next guy" that's left with his tail between his legs.

    Am I asking too much of this chick? We just finished spending 4 straight days NON-STOP with each other (as we do every weekend), as I live on the other side of the state than her, as I will for another 2 weeks. In the past she's said "if you need some space I hope you know you can just tell me and it will be OK" so that's exactly what I did. When we are not arguing everything is great and she is beyond special to me, but I feel really unappreciated and that any of my efforts to show her I care are worth nothing.

    Long read I know, but what do you guys think?
     
  2. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    arguing is normal, if you can handle it stay...if not move on
    She might argue more than others but you will always get to a point where you are arguing with your SO about stupid shit more than usual...
     
  3. ant.foste

    ant.foste New Member

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    Her self-esteem blows, or she acts pitiful for the attention. I would put her on my FWB list or move on.
     
  4. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    in4afterlunch
     
  5. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    She's just looking for a scapegoat, honestly. She's not happy, you're obviously not happy and having doubts. Move on.
     
  6. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    sounds like she doesn't want to be in the relationship. why would she constantly ask you if you want to break up with her? and why would petty things make her angry. seems to me like she's gotten tired of you.
     
  7. seismic

    seismic New Member

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    I think she's planting seeds of a break-up so that you will eventually take it there. She sounds like she doesn't want to be together and she's manipulating you to start the process.
     
  8. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Just leave now, shes just trying to push you into a break up it seems
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    i would say pretty much ignore all of this.

    sounds like she cheating on you already or planning to.

    shes throwing up red flags left and right.

    its time to throw up the black flag my friend.
     
  10. alkalinesolo

    alkalinesolo Active Member

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    Sounds like she's trying to find a reason to break up with you. Could be self esteem like Beth said, could be cheating like Abomb said. Either way it doesn't seem like she wants the relationship to continue.
     
  11. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    Never know she could just be trying to manipulate more effort out of him with all this...
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    TS, before I give my opinion I have to ask-has this girl brought up marriage or kids with you?

    Oh yeah, definitely leave her. If she's not cheating on you already she's about to. Classic cheater symptoms.
     
  13. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    she's pushing you away because she's too much of a coward to initiate the breakup herself
     
  14. ndnxtc

    ndnxtc New Member

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    Not marriage in particular, but we have talked about kids. She's never wanted kids and has made that clear in the past. But I brought this up with her about a month back - told her I do want kids at some point, and she responded saying that's something she's been reconsidering lately - and so we moved forward...
     
  15. ndnxtc

    ndnxtc New Member

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    Oh, and after the "if you want to break up then say it already" she tells me "OK let me make this easy for you (apparently she thinks I've wanted to break up with her), we're done" and I say fine.

    Now she shows up at my apartment unnanounced (2.5 hours away) and says she's just here to grab her key and her sweater, and maybe talk. I ask her OK would you like to talk? She responds "I don't think I feel like it anymore" Jesus Christ :rofl: so I told her I can't make you stay if you don't want and she leaves

    On the phone later "I don't want it to end this way, if only you knew how I feel" and now she's on her way back to "have a cigarette with me" GOD DAMN IT :squint:
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2009
  16. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    lock your doors, turn out your lights, go out and have a good time and ignore her
     
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    or pull an abomb - keep your lights on, lock your door, and sit on the other side of it giggling like a school girl.
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rolleyes:

    Dude, just save yourself a hell of a lot of unnecessary drama and bullshit.

    Call her now and tell her to turn back around. Break up.
     
  19. outlaws

    outlaws C.R.E.A.M.

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    :bowdown:
     
  20. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    yeah time to just end it.
     
  21. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I didn't even need to read past this part to know that the answer is "yes, end it". You're young and inexperienced and she's just nuts. She won't even communicate with you so why waste your time.

    It sounds like she's just getting bored with you or the relationship and wants out. She's doing everything she can to get you to end it since she doesn't have the balls to end it herself. Girls get irritated with you over every little thing you do and pick fights with you when they are not happy in the relationship any longer. She may not even know exactly why she isn't happy anymore but either way she is clearly telling you she doesn't wanna be with you.
     

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