SRS Shitty people.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Hym3n, Jan 15, 2009.

  1. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    Its hard to know where to begin on this one. I guess with a little background information. I am 20 years old, white male, very intelligent, overweight (but still somewhat cocky), middle-class in a wealthy area. I have been overweight all of my life except for a ~2yr. stint in high school when I did the low-carb bit. Growing up, I was made fun of a lot to the point where I grew used to it, and people's insults no longer bothered me.

    I met a girl when I was 15 that was the first girl that I was ever really interested in. We'll call her J. We talked a lot on the phone and whatnot. At this point in time I had never dated, kissed, etc. Mostly because I wasn't wanting to go on a "date" where my dad drives us around. Fuck that. J and I grew up together over the next 5 years. We became really close friends, I lost my virginity to her at 16, and she has always been in and out of my life. From age 17 to just before age 20, I was in two consecutive 1.5yr relationships, with P and A. Inbetween, before, and after, I dated a number of other girls. Without going into much detail, ALL of the girls in mention here are quite attractive. In past "Post Pics of your GF/EX threads," I've typically commanded a number of pages with people begging for more. They've all been pretty damn hot. I've got some game, I guess.

    Being like this, the fat kid with the hot girlfriend, has naturally caused some problems. I only had ONE friend through my school years until Junior year. From Junior year through, well, a couple months ago, I had a good "group" that I was in, 8-10 other people, all of us with a similar interest in cars. We went to school together, raised hell together, spent nearly every waking moment together. And every time that I got a new girlfriend, they would always turn their backs on me. Not wanting to talk to me, not wanting to be around me, and at the same time, each one of them trying to hit on the girl and take her from me in their own different way. One of them succeeded.

    Moving on, I still keep in touch with J through these years. I began talking to her again after a 6mo break in September. We hung out a LOT through the following months, ultimately leading to some more dates and some more sex. With this interaction, and the thought that we are likely going to become a couple, I introduce her to my friends. Previously, I had always kept my friends away from her, in fear of... well, exactly what's happening. One of the newer people in the "group," M, has his own girlfriend and his own agenda, but has taken a liking to J. They talk some on the phone here and there, no big deal, they're friends right? Eventually it gets to the point where she is talking to him more and than me, latelate night, hours at a time, OK, now I'm getting uncomfortable. At the same time, J begins to treat me poorly and is no longer interested in me. I confront M and ask him to stop. He says OK. Over the next couple days, I notice behaviors from the two of them, as they try and conceal their contact. I've been around cheaters and I've cheated myself, its easy to see this behavior (despite the fact that J isn't mine, its still not cool).

    Knowing that M and J are more interested in each other than anything else, I confront M's girlfriend, C, about it. At this point in time, they had been together for something on the order of 10 days. Hardly a "relationship." They hadn't even gone on a date, not once. C and I hit it off. Not because of M's fuckups, but because we just find ourselves to be more compatible people. She breaks it off with M, and we start to date. During this time, M and J begin to go out some as well. All is fine and dandy, right? We're both getting what we want.

    My group aborts me. No one wants to hang out with me anymore. None of them. I'm accused of stealing a girlfriend (despite the fact that they've done it to me before), and no one wants anything to do with me. They harass me on the phone, txt, other forums, facebook, you name it. They harass me to C, who has now become my girlfriend, but what gets to me the most.... M and J are totally fine and cool. No one minds them. They are free to come and go and hang out with whoever whenever and do as they please. No harm no foul. I guess because they both got so "wronged" by me. J begins to rally everyone against me. This is what I don't understand. Her and I didn't work out as a couple, but what the fuck happened to our friendship? She calls me on a pair of drunken nights, saying rude things and being a cunt, and in the background I can hear all of my other "friends," saying the same shit. She's successfully stolen them.

    So, the "friends" are out. They're all shitty people. Fuck them. J is out, one of my best friends for over 5 years, gone for no good fucking reason. I'm essentially left with C and a couple other, more distant friends. Meanwhile, my old "friends" are continuously barraging C with rude comments about me and trying to get with her. And let's face it, being the fat kid, middle-class in a wealthy area, some of them have better things to offer, and its finally getting to me.

    I'm working on self-improvement, and all of 2008 was dedicated to doing just that. I did quite well, mentally. Physically, I am still working on. But why the fuck won't people just leave me alone? I am no longer associated with any of them but they just won't go away. They are harassing both of us and I don't know how to make it stop, because ignoring it is only making it worse.



    CLIFFS: I get my best girlfriend stolen from me, decide to steal dude's girlfriend in retaliation, both couples wind up more satisfied this way, although my friends want nothing to with me for gf stealing, but don't care about the other couple. Lose all of my friends, but they still keep harassing me and her. Ignoring them isn't stopping them. What do I do?
     
  2. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    wow dude you really have some shitty friends I suggest you just start over and find new ones...easier said than done I know but honestly that sounds like high school shit I never heard of guys acting that way none of my friendsn would ever do that to me. Is your g/f still friends with them or what?
     
  3. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    If your story is true, and I am not saying it isn't, then you are in a better situation now than before when they were your "friends". Good riddance.
     
  4. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Go out where they aren't around, make new friends, don't go to their frequent spots. Delete their numbers, or put them in as do not pick up.

    If you are fueling their fire, they will keep having fun because it's probably a game to them. You act like you don't care, and don't show retaliation, and its likely they will get bored after awhile.

    I honestly think you have been hanging around dirtbag friends. And hanging around them has made you cocky. I personally think cocky dudes need to get off their high horse. They're really not all that special. Yea, you may be able to attract pretty girls with the attitude, but look what type of girls you are attracting, girls like J, who have no problem screwing you over for new dick.
     
  5. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    I think that you are not so innocent in this. I know you don't claim to be, but you essentially talked her out of that relationship with something you don't even know happened. I don't see how this isn't bad, you took the wrong step on that one. You should have confronted M before you went to his new girl.

    I think that this is a better outcome for you though and no ignoring it will never work. You have to just accept what happened and try your best to move on. J may or may not come back in your life, but don't wait around. Go out and meet new people, have new experiences and screw them, they can do whatever they want it shouldn't affect you. People that treat you like that are not your friends anymore.
     
  6. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    Well my gf, C, had started to get to know them through M, but now, seeing all of this happen to me, is realizing that they're not worth her time. Fortunately she's a socially-smart enough person to be able to identify a good person from a bad one and kick the bad ones out of her life.

    I absolutely agree, and I am working on making my other friendships into stronger ones now, those that are left are all much better people, but generally have their own agenda to tend to a bit more.

    I'm keeping up the ignoring game. C has never dealt with harassment like this before and isn't doing the same, so its starting to piss her off, and no matter how much I say that the only way to make it stop is to ignore it, she just doesn't understand.

    My attitude and cockiness in general is the result of years of torment from my peers growing up in school. I am this way to certain people, to those that I see as other cocky people (and in this area... that's a LOT of them), but to other good people, to other NICE people, and to typically everyone else, I am a rather kind-hearted person. I go out of my way to help others every chance I get.

    I know that I am not innocent in my actions towards M. The fact of the matter is that M and C were together in what was more or less a middle school relationship. They said they were a couple but never actually did a damn thing. He talked to her on the phone a total of three times during their "relationship," while he was calling up J, while I was seeing her, nearly every night. I DID confront him to stop, and while he said OK, his actions spoke much louder. I did what I saw as necessary.

    I hate that C and I had to start under such shitty terms, but the pressure from others to make us split has only made us grow closer. We've become a surprisingly good couple in a very short amount of time, this girl is great. I pray that J does not come back into my life after the things she said to me, and after the actions she's taken to rally my friends against me. C and I are working towards making new friends, both on our own and together. Its getting the old ones to stop mucking up our business that would be nice.
     
  7. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    No offense but but the fact that you would even be friends with people like that says alot about who you are. You might want to think about that. As far as the harassment goes cut them out of your life completely i.e. change your number, block them from viewing your Facebook, change your email address etc. Eventually if they can't get to you and C anymore they will give up. They probably won't stop even if you're ignoring them if there is a chance their attempts at harassing you are still getting through.
     
  8. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    I couldn't agree with you more on everything you just said. I have made poor decisions in the past as well, I am no saint, but I have greatly tried to right my wrongs, and this is just another fork in the road. If it keeps up, I will have to seriously consider changing numbers and whatnot. Thank you for the sound advice.
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I guess it all comes down to getting a change in attitude. Instead of sitting bored behind a pc you've got to hit the gym and change who you are,because we can give some guidance ,but no one is going to climb that mountain for you, you have to do it yourself. Another problem is that 'revenge attitude', as others said choosing your friends wisely would prevent you having to do such, you should press yourself on the heart to make logical choices everytime you make one. Its easier said then done, but if i were you id try to steer away from troubles and trouble makers.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    My thoughts on people in general:

    Unless they are family, you only need to surround yourself with people who make your life better or more enjoyable.

    The great thing about friends...you can always make more. You did the right thing.

    You shouldn't need to change numbers...ignore them long enough, and they will get tired of you not playing their game. Get rid of them on the social websites though.
     

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