Shit... Been thinking about my relationship a lot and...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by krazywulph, Aug 17, 2008.

  1. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    I don't know if I can see myself doing it for very much longer. I've been with my girl for a year and a half and I've certainly picked up on my SO's flaws, as I'm sure she's picked up on mine also...
    Right now, we're apart for a few weeks before school starts, not an intense long distance rel. or anything, we spent most of the summer together, and she went home to cali for the last few weeks of summer, and I came home to New York.
    I need to say that being away from her has shown me that I miss being able to do whatever I want (and no, im not cheating on her or anything.) I feel like I'm getting my life in order right now, going to the gym, being healthy, working on a couple of different jobs and getting ready for some of my classes next semester.
    Meanwhile, my SO's behavior is so predictable. Since we've met, she's tried to go on a diet about 20 different times. After a week she gives up. Same with going to the gym. I don't want to say anything to her about it, but she's put on a good amount of weight since I've known her, and straight up I find her less physically attractive than I ever have (not that she's an obese cow, but she used to be in pretty good shape...) It's just that I've started to become grossed out by some of her eating habits, because it just seems like she's not taking good enough care of herself. This gets me mad, and I usually take it out on her in some other way, cause I understand that weight and eating is such a sensitive subject for women.
    Next, she's constantly calling and texting me telling me how much she misses me, loves me, wants to be with me forever, all that shit... Honestly, I'm across the country from her right now, and I don't feel any of this. Sometimes, unless she texts me or something, I can go an entire day without thinking about her.
    Our sex life has deteriorated beyond belief. We're in college, we should be fucking like rabbits, but she blames her birth control on making her lose her sex drive and when we do have sex, it's slightly awkward cause it's forced. Don't get me wrong, I get my nut off, but aftwerwards, I'm like shit, that used to be a lot more fun.
    OT, I feel like my relationship may have been over for a while, but I really don't know. I do know that I've felt serious feelings for this girl before and we've worked out in the past. Maybe I just need to rough it for a little bit on my own :dunno:



    UPDATE - AUG 26
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 26, 2008
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Sounds like it's over dude. :dunno:

    I don't want to tell you what to do, but it sounds like you already KNOW what you should do.

    Do it.
     
  3. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    Have you talked to her about this? How long have you been dating? You may also want to ask yourself why you were so attracted to her in the first place. Sometimes if relationships are long term they can become stagnant. There is no spice and the romance dwindles. As for the BC making her sex drive dull, I can tell you from personal experience that this can happen. It sucks, but it is a side effect. My true advice to you is to do what in your heart makes you happy but please don't blind side her with it. Maybe you're just this way because it's summer and you're not seeing her on a regular basis. Maybe you should try and work out together?
     
  4. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    We've been together 1.5 years... I've talked to her about the sex and how I feel bored, but not about the other stuff. I feel like everytime we try and work something out we end up back in the same spot in no-time. She'll be ordering pizzas with ranch dressing and loudly burping from cocacolas...
     
  5. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    So I'm picking up that it's more her lifestyle that bothers you than anything. That can be a deal breaker...
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    That's disgusting.

    I hate it when a girl thinks it's ok to burp like that in front of you. I mean, I don't do that shit in front of them, they should respect me enough not to do it in front of me either.

    But that's not the issue. The issue sounds like you've got a complacent, lazy girlfriend who is going to be in the same place in 5 or 10 years as she is right now.

    Can you handle that?
     
  7. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    Don't get me wrong, she's very hard-working, intelligent, funny and thoughtful. I'm just disgusted by the fact that she doesn't take care of herself.

    I have been handling that... and it's not fun. She thinks things like that are totally ok, and if I call her out on being gross, she calls me mean and gets mad at me for always being mean... If this continues for 10-15 years, she will be a whale...
     
  8. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    Break up with her. Be strict and firm (and a little gentle) but break up.
     
  9. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    :noes:
    Should I do it over the phone, or wait til we're both back at school in less than ten days?
     
  10. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    IN PERSON IN PERSON IN PERSON! I know it may be harder that way but after a year and a half I think that she at least deserves that.
     
  11. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    So do I lead her on for the next week and a half, making her think everything is fine? Is that fair?
     
  12. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    It's not fair at all. Don't return calls so much and dwindle the contact don't say I love you. Ween (sp?) her off.
     
  13. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    It's not a matter of respect. It's a matter of comfort.

    If my gf didn't feel comfortable enough to burp in front of me, THAT would be an issue.
     
  14. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    :ugh: this sounds terrible. Why can't i just get it over with.
     
  15. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    What if your gf felt comfortable to burp loudly in front of a group of other people also, and didn't even take a second to say excuse me?
     
  16. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    oh you know the Vag

    most people want to not play with emotions by playing with emotions
     
  17. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    me and my friends burp and fart in front of each other and nobody cares

    then again we aren't inhibited (probably because we're genuine friends and not friends out of convenience)

    if she's burping in front of strangers just tell her that's too much and if she does it again fart in her mouth
     
  18. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    It's just the way she is man. really it's not my biggest issue with her, but I wish she acted more like a lady.
     
  19. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    I just think that break ups that aren't in person are cowardly.
     
  20. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I think you should tell her strait up over the phone that since you two have been apart it has made you realize the things about her that you think need to change in order to continue making the relationship work.

    Express to her that her diet and exercise and living habits are becoming unattractive to you and while you still love her and many things about her those above factors are making it hard to maintain the relationship.

    Give things a short amount of time when you get back together in person and if she hasn't made a change break up with her. At least then you've given her a fair warning and chance.
     
  21. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    Damn it... you pretty much just described my current year and a half relationship. Her eating habbits make me cringe, she's by no means fat but she's definitely not in as good of shape as she used to be. We work at the same place but in entirely different parts of it so there are days I never see her. She pretty much refuses to go to the gym because she's under too much stress even though we work at the same place and I know what she has to do, its not more stressful than what I do yet I hit the gym before work for cardio and afterwork for lifting. We don't have sex often anymore at all, I'm just not into it anymore so it's like once a week if that (I'm usually tired from work/gym anyway). I love her to death and don't want to hurt her, I even want her in my life... just don't see it going the distance over the long haul.
     
  22. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    It's not the first time I've considered seriously ending it with her. I feel like giving her "another chance" might prolong an inevitable breakup. I only have one more year of college left and I don't want to leave feeling like I wasted my time on someone whose flaws I had to try and accept, not someone who I loved FOR their flaws..

    It sucks doesn't it. My gf and I sleep together every night when we're at school, I feel like an old married couple.
     
  23. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Don't 'give her another chance' if you honestly don't think it will make you want to stay with her, that is only going to torture her, make her bargain when you end it again, make her feel like even MORE of a failure, etc. Don't do it.
     
  24. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    :werd: I honestly feel like our relationship has been over for a long time, I've been to scared and comfortable to do anything about it though, i guess.
     
  25. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    If you've already given her another shot a few times before then yeah, don't prolong things. Call her and tell her straight up. It's going to be bad for a week or two no matter how you do it (in person or over the phone). Decide when you have the most time to deal with her incessant phone calls and crying.
     

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