SRS She's married

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Headstrong, Nov 2, 2007.

  1. Headstrong

    Headstrong New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2007
    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    0
    Here's the deal.

    She's trapped in a marriage at the moment due to financial issues. She doesn't want to get out of a marriage with 3 kids and totally ruin things for her children because a divorce at the moment would cause nothing but financial problems. There's no emotional, physical relationship between her and her husband and they really aren't friends. They just live together and raise 3 kids. He bad mouths her, doesn't care for her, says she looks stupid in clothes, tells her she's fat...you know the run of the mill dickhead.

    I'm in love with her. Vice versa. I know she's leaving him. I trust her that much. Always have. I've been knowing her for a very long time. I stay away from anything to do with her unless she comes to me which is not that often. We only are able to talk through email or if we meet each other out. She's got three kids. Do you expect her to have time? I just became single in July again after staying with someone for reasons I shouldn't have. It was basically the same situation that she's in but not with the financial tie-ins.

    I know for a fact this woman feels the same for me and I pretty much trust that she's not lying about everything she says. For the type of person she is and she got married because she got pregnant. That's the only reason. They were actually split up when she found out she was pregnant. He proposed to her by tossing a ring to her and said "might as well".

    I'm single, and I don't have a problem waiting. But just for how long? I mean, I just got out of a relationship that wasn't right and now all I do is think that she is right. I don't know. I'm just content with the way things are now and she is beyond worth any wait. I know she is going to end up leaving but can't at the moment.

    Don't say "don't mess with a married woman" because it's easier said than done. If I were married, I wouldn't want someone messing with my wife. But I wouldn't be treating her like shit and total disrespectful. I would also love her more than anything in the world. So think if you were in this situation, I can't think of anyone else in the world that is more perfect than she is.
     
  2. deadmeat

    deadmeat Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2003
    Messages:
    14,748
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Lollifornia
    I'm going to have to go with Viper on this one.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I wouldn't be involved with her until she finishes her relationship with her ex. Don't put one leg in one relationship and the other one in another. Let her finish one relationship before she starts another. She's still basically cheating on him. She should have finished her current relationship. The big problem is that on behalf of her children she will keep on prolonging the misery.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's this simple:

    Never get involved with a woman who cannot fully commit to you. You're selling yourself short if you do.
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    These are all just excuses to keep you hanging around. It's all very, very common and in fact, she might love her husband and be playing you like a violin. I know, I know....I'm an idiot and I just don't understand. It's not like I've seen this before or anything....I have....it's all very common.
    IMO, you don't love her, you love your image of her....but then again, I haven't seen you guys together and don't know all the fact so I could be wrong. However, odds are that you don't....here's why.

    In this paragraph you say you only talk through emails and don't see each other that often. This is a huge red flag and yes, it's also common. It's very similar to long distance relationships. The odds of you projecting onto her all the traits you are looking for in a woman are extremely high. However, that is loving an image, not the real person.
    Perhaps this is true, perhaps not...but dating a married person is a recipe for heartache.
    Right because you believe that there's a payoff in the end...sort of like a BINGO. But all too often, these types of relationships end with the person in your position shocked and outraged and deeply hurt because their love decided to work it out with the hubby.

    If your ages are way different, like she's pushing 40 and you're mid 20s....watch out.
    I don't wait. If she's married and wants out and wants to date, fine...get out or I'm out. I don't date married women....PERIOD. It's not subject to debate and it's damned sure not open to "yes but..." type of logic.

    For me, if you're married, I'm gone. If you're divorcing fine....file the papers and let me see.
    You're content cuz you have low self esteem and don't think you can find another woman that can love you....either that or you don't feel like you truly deserve to be loved.
    It's not easier said than done. You think you're so unique but you're not. Many, many people have been in your exact place and chosen NOT to get involved with the married person. I personally have been here and yeah...it's easy to believe them cuz we want companionship and there seems to be a genuine connection between us. However, that's just lust....nothing more.

    I'd suggest moving on and working on your self esteem issues. You deserve a loving, caring and hot girlfriend and wife. Just like we all do....now go find your own.
     
  6. SpectreMatrix

    SpectreMatrix New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2004
    Messages:
    4,069
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tacoma, Wa
    I agree with everyone else in here. Its plain and simple. Don't waste your time.
     
  7. Brian May

    Brian May New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2002
    Messages:
    18,774
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pa
    Great advice in this thread. I've gotten involved with several women who were committed (but not married) and have heard it all. (great post Viper :bowdown:)

    Even if she did divorce him and ran to you, nobody wants to get into another relationship right after they come out of a failed one. She'll just fuck with your head and use you.

    With all the unattached women floating around out there, why get involved with damaged goods?
     
  8. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2004
    Messages:
    19,688
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    Flawless victory.

    :bowdown: @ great post.
     
  9. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,778
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cleveland
    in short.. if she REALLY had feelings for you she'd be with you

    i don't care if she initiated a doomsday countdown to do it.. she'd do it because she WANTED to be with you.

    its the short and simple truth of it all. We've all been down the road of getting lead on.. at times we get lead on by a girl that is in fact intrested.. the only true way to tell if she is.. is to do what viper said. Cut contact and let her come to you son.
     

Share This Page